There are milestones in life that need to be celebrated. Some of them are expected and hoped for. Others creep up on you and you shake your head, “How did I get here?!” Mom turned 80 last week on October 19. When I spoke with her on that day, it was clear that this is one of those milestones for her. I mean, think about it, Mom was three years old when Pearl Harbor was bombed and the US entered World War II. Imagine all that has changed in her lifetime! From the telephone to television, to space travel to computers to the Internet and social media. A lot has changed!

So, Mom, how did you get here? You kept going and didn’t give up. You have lived your life one step at a time. You may think of your life as small and unimportant, but I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned from you. You need to know that your life has made a difference. So, here goes!

Four things I have learned from Mom:

1. Shop sales so that you can share. We have chuckled about you searching out the best deals at more than one grocery story and then stocking up on a bargain. You’ve purchased extra shelves to hold your extra purchases and your extra shelves have always been full. Maybe it’s being a child of the Great Depression that has inspired you to make sure you’ve had more than enough. Yet, we have also joked about “shopping in Mom’s store” and, in spite of our chuckles, have been grateful for it. Many times you’ve stocked up on the extra specifically so that you could share with us. Your bargains have helped us get through some lean times and we are tremendously thankful. 

2. When you don’t know what to do or say, smile. A pretty smile never gets old and, Mom, you’ve got a pretty smile. I have seen pictures of you as a little girl and that smile has never changed. It’s a smile that says, “I want you to be safe with me.” You’ll agree that sometimes your words and your outlook are “glass-half-empty.” You have laughed about that. But your shining smile contradicts all of it. Your smile is “glass-half-full” and, you may not have realized that in social situations where you might be uncomfortable, you have developed a habit of smiling. Your smile might not put you at ease, but it works for the people around you. Your pretty smile does more good than you know.

3. Fear can be overcome with time.You’ve told the story of stepping on a hornet’s nest as a small child and being stung multiple times. I can’t imagine how traumatic that was for you. I remember how, even as an adult, you were terrified of flying insects that sting. It makes an impression on a child when Mom is scared. I can still see you crying and terrified to move when a bee was nearby, but you don’t do that anymore. It’s happened over time and I don’t know exactly how, but you are no longer terrified. That same victory has happened in your life in regard to us. I have heard that when I went to college you had a really hard time. There are probably better words to describe it, but I wasn’t there and it’s hard to come up with them. It’s never been easy for you when we were out of your sight. It’s a different kind of fear than insects that sting, but can be just as debilitating. You don’t do that anymore either. You’ve learned to let us go and live our own lives. I know you still worry about us, but it isn’t the same kind of gripping anxiety it once was. You have learned to go with life as it is and to accept that some things are just out of your control. I know you don’t like it, but you have accepted it and it shows.

4. The most important thing you can do is just be there.You may not feel like you’ve done a lot for us. You don’t have a wide social circle or a community sphere of influence, but you have been a steady presence for your family. When we went to school, you waved us off, and you are still sure to wave us off when we head home after a visit. You have stood at the window waving so many times it’s etched in my memory. You’ve never been a morning person, but my memory has a very clear picture of you in your bathrobe at the window waving me off to school. I could count on that wave and, although I didn’t realize it at the time, it made me feel safe as I headed out into the world. I think it’s because that wave was really a promise. it was a promise that you were there and would still be there when I came home. And you were. When something difficult or upsetting has happened in my life or in the world, no matter how old I get, one of my first urges is to call you, and you are there. It’s steadying for me, and, I imagine, for my siblings as well, to know that Mom is there. It is so much more valuable than you know.

Mom, you may not feel like your life has been very important, but there is no one in our lives that can take your place. Thank you for not giving up when it was hard, for being there consistently, for loving us enough to worry, for being willing to share your abundance, for learning and growing yourself, for sharing your smile even when you feel uncomfortable. Even though you may not notice how you have grown, you have, and that sets an example for us. Thank you for sharing yourself even though it doesn’t come easily.

Mom, you are the most important woman in our little world and we love you! Happy 80th birthday!

Dear friend, if you are reading this today, be encouraged. Your life really does make a difference. Be faithful in your little world. Share, smile, grow, be there. You are doing more good than you know.

Key thought: Your life makes a difference.

A Scripture to consider: “But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:17-18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A YES challenge: Think of your mother, or some other person who is important in your life. What is one lesson you have learned from that person, regardless of how difficult your relationship with them may have been? How can you put that lesson into practice in your life?

Prayer: Father, help me to remember that You have placed me in a particular sphere of influence for Your purposes. Help me to be faithful in my corner of the world so that You can do through me what You have planned. Let me not get distracted by looking for traces of my influence. Help me to just be the best me I can and let You do the rest. Amen.