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What to Do After a Busy Week: Rest
Dear Friend, this has been an exceptionally full week at work and we’ve had guests in our home. I’ve been doing exactly what I was supposed to do. But that left little time for writing. Now, it’s time to rest, and that is exactly what I am supposed to do. There is a time for everything.
Is it time for you to rest, too, my friend? Is God calling you to rest?
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a
time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-13 NIV
Celebrating Progress Over Perfection
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
What is a perfectionist? A perfectionist seeks perfection above all, right? A perfectionist sets the bar high for themselves. If that person were honest with themselves, they would have to admit that by striving for perfection, they have set an unattainable goal. Are you a perfectionist?
I am a recovering perfectionist. There have been times I would rather do nothing than do something imperfectly. I was never content with my own efforts and, consequently, discontent with the efforts of others as well. Perfection may seem like a worthy goal, but, in reality, it is bondage.
Recognizing perfection was not attainable became a major turning point in my faith. Thankfully, it happened within the first year of my commitment to Christ. Accepting that Jesus was the only perfect person who ever walked the earth helped me to recognize that I could not be perfect. There was freedom in that, but old habits die very hard. I still struggle with a compulsion to be perfect and to accept when I have done my best, even though it is short of perfection.
What about you?
Here are some things I’ve learned that help me celebrate progress over perfection.
Recognize realistic goals. Realistic goals still involve risk and require growth. Realistic goals are still about moving outside your comfort zone and attempting things you have yet to learn. Realistic goals are not small. They contain possibility.
What makes a goal realistic rather than perfectionistic? A realistic goal allows for learning and mistakes. You recognize that it’s possible, but not without effort or God’s help. A realistic goal gives you room to grow without expecting it to be easy and perfect.
Compare your accomplishment to where you started, not where you hoped to end up. Even if you set a realistic goal, you might not meet it. You might not actually attain what you hoped, but goals are about growth, not accomplishment. That may be a perspective shift for you. If you are willing to focus on growth rather than accomplishment, you’ll be able to celebrate progress. Ask yourself if you are further along then when you started. If you are, then you have something to celebrate. Progress is success. Congratulations!
Even perfection can be imperfect. If I perfectly accomplish a goal but miss out on a significant relationship is that really success? If I achieve all the success I envision but sacrifice my time with God to attain it is what I’ve achieved worth that sacrifice? Every goal requires some sacrifice. When you set goals it’s important to evaluate what sacrifice that goal will require. If it requires you to sacrifice something that is important, is that a goal worth setting?
When I pursue progress over perfection, I can evaluate my situation more realistically. I can make room for the things that are important but may slow my progress or keep me from perfectly attaining my goal. In the end, what matters most?
Dear friend, learn to celebrate progress over perfection. You will most certainly be happier, but you will also get a better perspective on just how far you have come. You are so much further along than you think. Recognize realistic goals. Look at how far you’ve come. Make the right kinds of sacrifices to accomplish your goals. Remember to celebrate your progress!
Key Question: What progress can I celebrate, even if I did not perfectly achieve my goal?
A Scripture to Consider: “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
A YES Challenge: Evaluate the goals you have set for yourself. Are they realistic? What sacrifices are required? Adjust your goals as needed. Recognize areas where you have made progress and plan a tangible way to celebrate your progress.
Prayer: Father, You are perfect. You are without fault and make no mistakes. But You don’t call me to that kind of perfection. When Scripture calls me to be perfect as You are perfect, the challenge is to become completely committed to You. You call me to mature in my walk with You and to become more like Jesus. Help me to set goals that keep that perfection in view. Help me not to sacrifice that while I work toward achievement. You are the goal I most want to pursue. Every other goal must fit into that. I love You, Lord. Amen.
Celebrating Small Step Victories
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
Are you a goal-oriented person? Maybe I am wrong about this, but it is my observation that goal-oriented people struggle to celebrate their progress. Do you?
If you are goal-oriented, you may be so focused on the end that you don’t recognize the milestones along the way. Here’s my advice: Learn to celebrate small steps.
Every forward step is a victory. That may be a big perspective shift for you, but it will be worth the effort. Recognizing forward steps as victories will serve to fuel your motivation. What happens when you’re motivated? You keep moving forward. Isn’t that what you really want?
Backward steps are still part of the journey. The overall goal is progress, not perfection. Backward steps are going to happen. Stumbling is part of being human. I don’t like it, and I’ll bet you don’t either. Accepting the limits of being human will ease some of your goal-oriented angst. Probably not all of it, but that’s okay. It’s helped me a lot. Why not give it a try?
Read moreHow Others Help You Reach Your Goals
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT
Who helps you grow, my friend? Is there anyone in your life that you trust enough to tell you the truth?
I have a few friends that I know will tell me the truth about myself. They have invested in me, and I in them. We have spent enough time with each other to know each other well. We have gone through challenges and celebrations together. I am grateful for friends like that, but I have learned that those kinds of relationships are not just a blessing. They are essential.
None of us can truly accomplish anything on our own. Even though we may think we do. We need other people to help us become the person God designed us to be. He made us that way. We are created to need each other. Achieving your goals requires other people.
You need a teacher. A teacher shows you what to do. It may be someone with a free YouTube channel, or you may pay for a particular course of action. It may be a friend who is a few steps ahead on the journey or a skilled neighbor who invites you to shadow them and learn. You don’t know what you don’t know until you begin to learn. That’s been my experience.
I’m grateful for all the people who have made their knowledge available through the Internet. But I am most grateful for people who’ve been willing to share their knowledge and experience. Those relationships have been a treasure. We may not have become close friends, but they have deeply impacted me and guided me with their skill. I will always think of them and smile.
You need an encourager. There are several people who have continued to encourage me in my writing journey. They have believed in me and voiced their excitement or commented on things I have written.
Read moreSilent Saturday: Counting the Cost
It is Saturday of Holy Week. Good Friday has passed. Easter Sunday is yet to come. We wait in anticipation of that joyous celebration. But what did the disciples do on that Saturday after the crucifixion? They did not know that joy awaited them. They observed the Sabbath in obedience, but that day of rest from work was most likely anything but a day of rest in the mind. How could they do anything but continue to relive Friday’s horror and wonder how they would ever face, not only Sunday, but every day after?
It is in human nature to avoid the painful, but what if you and I took this Saturday to relive some of Good Friday’s pain? Might it increase our joy of the resurrection?
Read moreWhy Routines and Rhythms Help You Reach Your Goals
“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT
A morning cup of coffee is part of my daily routine. What about you? I don’t think about whether or not I will have a cup of coffee. I know that I will. I’ve already thought about it. That gives my brain space to just wake up and make other decisions.
That’s the importance of developing routines. I like to call them rhythms for growth. When you have already decided what is important and what you will do, your brain is free to be creative. I can’t quote science on it, but I’ve experienced it. Those rhythms are structures we have created unintentionally and intentionally that help us do the things that are important to us.
Structure guides growth and helps you achieve your goals. Why do you need structure to achieve your goals?
Structure keeps you in your lane. You know where you want to go. The structure of routines keeps you going in the right direction.
Have you ever thought about why there are lines on the road? They exist to help keep people safe. The white lines on the side of the road help drivers keep from drifting. The yellow lines in the middle help drivers remain on the correct side of the road but also give signals of what is safe or not in that area. Lined highways protect drivers from smashing into each other. I especially appreciate the dotted lines in turn lanes. Sometimes a lot of traffic is disorienting. Those lines guide me to turn into the correct lane amidst the busyness of an intersection.
Your personal rhythms, systems and routines can help you achieve your goals in the same way road lines help me make disorienting turns.
Read moreRhythms for Growth: Planned Review
“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” I Corinthians 15:58 NKJV
Life takes a lot of our brain space. There are so many decisions to make every day. From what color socks to wear to how to pay your bills to how to wrangle that wayward child our brains are constantly occupied. That’s why planning to remind yourself of what you want to accomplish is so important.
If you don’t plan to remind yourself of the goals you have set, you will forget. It is human nature. Regularly scheduling a goal review helps you stay on track with what you believe God has called you to accomplish.
I’ve often found myself saying that I make a plan so that I don’t have to think about it. That isn’t accurate. When I make a plan, I have already thought about it. Since I have already made a decision, my brain is free to focus on other things. That is the value of a planned review. You have already thought about how to keep your goals in front of you. That frees your brain to be creative and develop plans for following through on those goals as you live your busy life.
Remember, it’s about the growth, not the goals. Regularly remembering your goals keeps you growing.
Why do you need to schedule regular goal reviews?
Life happens. We say it often, don’t we? Life happens. Life constantly reminds us of how little control we actually posses. So much is out of our control. Every week, every day, every moment things happen that we didn’t anticipate and need to adjust to.
Planned goal reviews are a recognition of that. Life happens and draws us away from our goals. Regularly reviewing your goals is a plan to stay on track.
Read moreWhy You Need Help to Clarify Your Goals
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. Proverbs 15:22 NLT
Clearly articulating your goals can require perseverance. There may be times when everything just flows out. The path is clear. You know what the goal is and you write it out, post it somewhere to remind yourself and smile. You know where you are going and are confident you will get there.
Other times, it takes longer to pin down exactly what the goal is. The way is not as clear, and you don’t know how to get what you are thinking down on paper. Sometimes you have to persevere to get the clarity that helps you follow through on accomplishing the goals you set. It can be hard to express what you feel is the right goal. You have to persevere to get to it. Perseverance is often God’s character-building tool.
What do you do then? How do you write out your goals if you can’t clearly put it into words?
That’s when you need help. Articulating your goal may requires others. You don’t need to do this on your own.
You need time. It’s nice when everything seems to flow out. If you are like me, when you hear other people talk about those easy moments and declare getting it all on paper in ten minutes as proof that God is in the plan, you question yourself. Why is it so hard for me to express this? Is this really God?
Give yourself time. Clarity comes with time. Focus comes as you better understand yourself, your situation, and God’s purpose for you. Give yourself time to let that knowing settle in. Sometimes God allows the struggle. Like the butterfly working its way out of the cocoon, the struggle builds strength and prepares you to fly. Just as reading these words may help you gain a different perspective; you need other people to help you see clearly.
You need the perspective of people you trust. God has not designed us to function independently. Yes, He has created us as unique individuals. But as individuals who are dependent on each other. You need the perspective of those you trust to help you fully articulate what God has put inside you.
The people you trust most are the people who can help you best articulate what God is saying to you about your goals. They are the people who know you best.
It is a risk to share your heart with anyone, even those closest to you. There is a risk of being hurt by truthful comments. They may point out places you need to adjust. But when you know that someone wants the best for you, the pain of truth carries the peace of knowing you are loved. That’s a risk worth taking. And that risk may be exactly what you need.
You need the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Asking may be the first step in setting goals, but asking continues throughout the process of aiming toward your goals. Don’t forget to keep God included. Trust that the Holy Spirit will speak to you and guide you.
Keep asking God as you ask others. Ask Him to send you the right people. Ask Him to confirm His call through the Scriptures and circumstances. Ask Him to give you the right words so that you can confidently obey Him in the goals you set.
Dear friend, give yourself grace when articulating your goals is difficult. You need time to develop clarity. You need the perspective of people you trust. And you will continue to need the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The process is going to be worth it. You will clearly articulate your goals. With clarity comes confidence. That confidence is coming!
Key Question: Why do you need help to craft the right goals?
A Scripture to Consider: Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. Proverbs 15:22 NLT
A YES Challenge: If you are struggling to articulate your goals, set aside time to put something down on paper. Identify one or two people you trust and invite them into the process. Share what you have written with them and invite their feedback.
Prayer: Lord, I want to accomplish Your goals for my life. I am not always clear on what those are. Even though I pray and trust the Holy Spirit to guide me I realize I also need the help of others. Show me the right people to include in my goal-setting process. Help me take the risk of trusting them with this important part of my life. I need their help to clearly understand what You are saying to me. Thank You for guiding me through all of this. Amen.
Why You Need to Write Out Your Goals
“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” I Corinthians 15:58 NKJV
When I take trips, I like to follow along with the map. Even on an airplane. Maybe you are like me. The map shows me where I have come from but also always reminds me where I am going. I like to know how far away from the end we are. I like seeing how far we still need to go. Sometimes the twists and turns along the way are surprising. Sometimes, I check the map, and it seems like we are headed in the wrong direction. But then we curve back toward the destination. I don’t always understand why those shifts happen, but I trust that they happen with a reason, and I also trust that we will reach our destination. When we land, I feel a sense of completion. I know where I started, where I am, and how I got there.
That’s why you need to write out your goals. Having goals in writing reminds you of where you started and helps you track your progress along the way. And clearly written goals help you verify that you have actually accomplished what you set out to do.
Seeing it makes it real. If you are like me, you often know what you want to do, but you aren’t certain how to articulate it. The goal is fuzzy and somewhat ethereal. It’s like those dream sequences in a movie. The action is surrounded by a blur to show that what is occurring at that moment is not real. It’s just a dream, day or night.
Writing out my goals takes the blur away. It helps me clarify my thinking and what I believe God is saying to me. When I see what I am envisioning clearly articulated on the page I understand myself and my goal better. I have a clear picture of where I want to go. The destination becomes real.
Read more