Do You Have What You Don’t Want or Want What You Don’t Have?
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 'Philippians 3: 8-9
“Suffering is having what you don’t want or wanting what you don’t have.” Years ago I heard a message by the well-known author and speaker Elisabeth Elliot and that was her definition of suffering. And, as she said in the message, that covers just about everyone. At the time I heard that message, my husband and I were living in the basement of my parents’ home with two toddlers and all I wanted was a home of my own. I definitely had what I didn’t want and wanted what I didn’t have! That definition of suffering described me. Maybe it describes you right now.
This has been a season of great loss for all of us. Lost jobs, lost freedoms, lost security, lost loved ones. So much losing. Loss brings grief. Loss brings uncertainty. Loss brings questions — a lot of questions. So many things that we don’t want. So many things that we no longer have. But, what if those losses cause you and I to reevaluate what we consider important?
If you have lost a loved one, I am so sorry. That loved one was a treasure to you and that treasure cannot be replaced. I guess what I am attempting to say is that in the midst of all the loss and all the questions there may be a treasure that we can gain.
Let’s be honest right off. Life is hard. Okay, I’ve said it. No matter what “happily ever after” was fixed in our minds, the truth is that life doesn’t work that way. Each person’s journey is filled with hairpin curves, potholes, roadblocks and standstills. No matter what we expected, what we experience is totally different. So, how do we adapt to the losses we didn't anticipate? And what would I be willing to actually set aside for the sake of gaining a greater treasure?
My personal losses during this season of collective grieving have been minimal compared to what many have experienced, but loss is part of the human experience. Living at my parents and longing for a home was a season of loss for me, but it also became an opportunity for great gain. I gained perspective and a connection with Christ that I would not have developed if events had unfolded as I had hoped for.
At some point we all lose someone important, something significant or see a long-held dream slip into oblivion. I have a experienced all of those things. There is pain in loss. That has to be acknowledged without any minimizing or skipping over. But what if, in the midst of all that I no longer have, I can gain more of something I really want? If I am a follower of Jesus Christ, then isn’t He what I want most? What if everything that you have lost could become a vehicle for helping you gain more of Christ? Wouldn’t that change the way you perceive and experience your losses? So, how do we do that? How do we discover the treasure of Christ in the midst of mourning and loss?
“For His sake…” Whether you committed your life to Jesus years ago or recently, that moment in time has become the focal point of your life. Have you ever thought abut that? When you said yes to Jesus, recognized and repented of sin, and received the cornerstone of the cross, your life gained a new center. The place that Christ is meant to take in your life and mine is to be the very center of all we desire, think and do. As Christians we spend the bulk of our lives struggling to keep Him there, right? What if this time when we all have lost so much, and when you are feeling those losses keenly, is an opportunity to make sure He is at the center of our lives? What if those things that we are missing were things that were creeping into that space reserved for Him?
The pain is real. I don’t want to minimize any of what you are experiencing. It hurts! Yet, even really good things can become more to us than is best when we want to keep Christ king. Perhaps…just perhaps…what you miss most was closer to center than you realized. What if what you miss is really an opportunity to find more of Christ than you ever though possible. What if…?
Your love for Christ can be the very motivator you need to lead you to reevaluate your losses. What you have lost was important to you and took a significant place in your life. That person, that position, that possibility. But do you really want that thing more than you want Christ? I don’t believe so, Dear Friend.
“I have discarded everything else…” To discard something is to lay it aside as no longer useful. It is a choice to lay something aside. It doesn’t just happen. That relationship or position or dream or whatever else, needs to be purposefully relinquished.
What are you missing, Dear One? It may have been removed from you by no choice of your own. You may feel like it was wrongly wrenched from out of your hands, but now there is no getting it back. Have you willingly relinquished it? It’s in the choice to let go that you can begin to discover something new. A greater treasure.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but that season in the basement led me to experience more of Christ. I wanted to please Him in my actions and attitudes. I wanted to keep Him king of my life. Yet, what I yearned for and what I had lost were screaming for supremacy. In order to gain Christ, I needed to lay aside the other things that were taking up space in my mind and heart. I needed to intentionally choose Him first. As I made that choice day after day, I gained more of Him, even though I didn’t realize it at the time. Perhaps that is where you are right now. Keep choosing, Dear Friend!
“So that I can gain Christ and become one with Him…” What you have lost will always have value to you. It’s okay to still love what you have lost, but in the relinquishing there is a receiving. Willingly laying it aside as no longer useful doesn't diminish its value, but makes room in your life. It makes room for a new dream. It makes room for a new treasure. It makes space for Christ to fill you in a new way.
The times when I have come to know Him in a deeper way have been the times when I lost something valuable to me. Most often what I’ve lost was not something tangible, but the loss of a dream, something I hoped for or expected that didn’t happen or happened differently than I had imagined. Like living in a basement for three years. Like you, I had to grieve my losses and that didn’t happen quickly.
Loss takes many forms. Perhaps loss of dreams and unrealized hopes for those we love or our most significant relationships are the hardest losses to cope with. I have been there and I know you have, too. Sometimes the grieving is continual and becomes a new normal. But in the losing I really have found Christ. That’s what I want for you, my Dear Friend.
When I think back on those three interminable years of yearning for my own home all the sense of suffering is gone. What seemed like forever at the time is just a descriptive sentence now. Yet that season of learning to let go of myself and receive more of Jesus shaped me in a way I wouldn’t undo. What I gained then is so much greater than what I lost. What I lost is no longer valuable to me, but what I have gained will never cease to be precious.
Dear Friend, you may be in a season of suffering right now. The pain is real and may seem overwhelming. Yet, I can assure you that in the midst of it, you really are gaining more than you are losing. You may not recognize it right away, but as you choose Christ day by day you are gaining the greatest treasure: More of Him. Take heart!
Key Thought: Loss can lead us to the greater treasure.
A Scripture to Consider: For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. Philippians 3: 8
A YES Challenge: Take some time to make a list of all that you have lost recently. As you consider each one, offer it up to God as an act of worship. Ask Him to let that loss lead you to a greater awareness of Christ.
Prayer: Lord, this has been a hard time. I didn’t expect it to be as difficult as it is. It has caught me off guard and I am not really sure what to do. You know me. You know what has been lost to me. Help me to let each of those things go into Your hand. Help me to discover the greater treasure of gaining Christ. Let these losses lead me to a deeper love and understanding of Jesus. Amen.