“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I'm not usually one to panic. I'm usually the steady one, but not in the story I am about tell you!   How do you handle a season of unknowing? Do you scramble to figure out what is happening? I often feel like if I can understand why something is happening, then I can be at peace, but that is not always possible and it wasn’t possible in this instance. Maybe you have a had a similar experience.

Tom and I were on a cruise to celebrate our thirtieth anniversary. I know, a cruise sounds luxurious, but this was the first time we had ever experienced seas so rough that it was sometimes frightening.  Not only that, the motion was making Tom feel so sick that much of the time all he was up to doing was lying in our cabin to rest or watch movies. This morning Tom was hoping to feel better so we decided to leave the cabin for a while and let the steward attend to it. I had to finish something, so Tom went ahead of me up to the relatively quiet lounge with a panoramic ocean view where we expected to find a place to read for a while. When I went up to the lounge a few minutes later, I couldn't find him. 

"If he was going to go somewhere else shouldn't he have come back and told me?" I grumbled inside. Where was he? A bench in the hall near our cabin was a good place to wait for Tom to pass by me on his way back to explain the change of plans, so I settled in and did some reading. Another check of my watch. Maybe I missed him? I headed back to the freshly cleaned cabin. Empty. What now? I waited while the ship tossed and the clock ticked. No cell service at sea. How could I get in touch with him? How could I find him? The ship was big enough that we could easily miss each other. I retraced my steps to the lounge where we had planned to meet. He was definitely not there. How about downstairs to the gallery lounge that we had hung out in previously?Didn't see him there. Back to the cabin to wait. Not there. 

All this time, I was praying, but the longer this unknowing lasted the more I could feel panic rising in me. It didn't make sense. My rational mind knew that Tom was probably fine, even though I hadn't heard from him for a couple hours, but I couldn't relax and emotion was taking over. I knew panic wasn't going to help me, but there it was and I didn't know what to do about it. My prayers became tearful and pleading. "God, I just need to know that he's okay. Show me where he is. Help me stop panicking!"  The cabin stayed silent and my heart continued to rock with the ship.

"God, I just need to know what is going on. I need some information so that I know what to do," I finally prayed. This prayer was different. Less panicked.  More resolved. A few moments later, Tom called the cabin. The ocean view had made him feel worse so he had moved to the gallery lounge, but had not felt able to get up and call me until then. I had missed him when I had looked there. Now, I knew what to do. Down to the gallery lounge I went. The unknowing resolved. 

WHY is not always possible. Have you ever had a similar experience? Maybe, like me, you asked yourself, “What was that all about?!” It's confused me for a while, but I think I understand now. What I wanted was to know the whole picture. You know what I mean, "I can endure this as long as I know why it’s happening." I wanted to know WHY I hadn’t heard from Tom. But I didn't and as long as that was my internal demand, I was undone. 

Ask a different question.  What made that last prayer different? I was no longer craving the big picture in order to resolve myself. I just asked for the next step. Not WHY, but WHAT. Is that what God was waiting for? Even before Tom called the panic had subsided and I had a greater measure of peace simply because I stopped demanding to know why.

WHAT is the next right step? Sometimes my desire to know why is really a desire to control. If I just knew... how this was going to resolve, then I could endure. If I just knew why this was happening I would be at peace. If I just knew... Even felt that way? I guess the posture you and I need to take is "I just need enough information to know what to do next and I will trust You for the rest of it." Sometimes the question to ask is not "Why" but "What".

Perhaps you are in a season of unknowing much more complicated and continuous than my few hours on that ship. It can be excruciatingly difficult and you might experience waves of panic because you don’t understand why this is going on so long. Dear Friend, when panic starts to rise or frustration begins to take over, perhaps it’s time to ask a different question. Perhaps, like I did, you will find some peace when you stop asking “why” and begin to ask, “What is the next right step?” I pray that you find peace as you take it. 

Key thought: Perhaps it’s time to ask "What" instead of "Why".

A Scripture to consider: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

A YES challenge: Are you asking God "Why"? How could you change your question to "What"?

Prayer: Father, I want to trust You. It seems easier to trust you when I understand why things are happening, but I know that You often don't give me that explanation. Help me to trust You for the outcome. What is the next right step for me today? Amen.