“You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Okay. Who is the most challenging person in your life right at this moment? Do you have their face in your mind? Are you hearing their words as you see their face? Are you feeling the sting of those words all over again just by thinking of that person? My goal is not for you to relive pain, so please stick with me here! I have one of those people in my life, too! 

That most challenging person is probably someone you have regular contact with, am I right? Wouldn’t you like to have a strategy for dealing with them that gives you some hope? Wouldn’t you like to have a way of thinking about them and the relationship that makes the whole predicament seem to have worth and purpose? Obviously, the easiest way for the relationship to smooth out would be for the other person to change, but since that is not something you or I can control I guess we will have to work on changing us. So, what are we to do?

Jesus shows us the way. He always does, doesn’t He? Christ is the ultimate example of living for what matters and letting go of what doesn’t. The best thing you and I can do in every difficult relationship is to follow the example of Christ, right? So, what kind of attitude did He have in His challenging relationships? What do I need to do in order to have the same attitude as Christ when THAT person is in the room with me? Let’s think about that together. 

To have the same attitude as Christ: 

God’s will and glory must be my priority. When Jesus knew that it was time for Him to go to the cross, He spent a significant prayer time that the apostle John has recorded for us in the 17th chapter of his gospel. In that prayer, Jesus says this, “After saying all these things ( the things Jesus said to His disciples in their last time together), Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son so he can give glory back to you...I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. Now, Father, bring me into the glory we shared before the world began.” (‭‭John‬ ‭17:1-5‬ ‭NLT‬‬) He understood that His first purpose on earth, His first calling, was to bring glory to God by fulfilling His assignment, by doing what God had given Him to do. That was His priority, and knowing that put everything else in it’s place. Couldn’t you use some of that clarity?

In my most difficult relationships I try to remember that, at the end of the day, what matters most is God’s glory. How do I bring God glory when the person I am in conversation with totally rejects Him or simply won’t hear me? By reflecting the goodness and patience of God’s character. It is not possible unless I let the Holy Spirit take over. Believe me I have failed at this plenty of times! If my priority is to make them hear me or to prove that I am right, even that I am right about God, then I miss God’s will in the relationship. God’s will is that I demonstrate what He is like and I bring Him glory when I do that in my attitude. Ouch! I could use some work here. What about you?

I must remember that I exist for  the benefit of others. Jesus knew what He came for and it was not for Himself.  “For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.” ‭‭(Luke‬ ‭19:10‬ ‭NLT)‬‬ He never lost track of that. He didn't get caught up in His daily concerns ( and He had them just like we do). He didn’t focus on HIs disappointments, or the rejection of people (which He experienced regularly). He remembered why He came and stayed focused on that. Jesus was aware that every ability He was born with, every gift and talent, was meant to be used in service to other people (Mark 10:45; Matthew 20:28; 1 Peter 4:10). 

It’s hard not to live from the perspective of being the center of our own existence., isn’t it? I see things through the filter of my own preferences and needs. I naturally default to seeing things from the perspective of what will benefit me or make me more comfortable. I imagine you do, too. Jesus made others the center of His world because God was the center of His heart. If I am going to fulfill the purpose God created me for, just as Jesus fulfilled the purpose He was sent to earth for, I need to make God the center of my heart. If He is my goal — pleasing Him, fulfilling His purpose — then every thing else falls into place. He didnt give me gifts and abilities just so that I could be satisfied using them, although that may happen. He doesn’t just want me to feel good or be successful, although His blessing certainly brings satisfaction. He gave me the talents that are part of who I am so that I could participate in His purposes on the earth. Isn’t that the most exciting and satisfying place to be?! You have a place in HIs big plan, too, my friend. Yes! You! Have you taken time to consider how He might want to use all that He has put in you to benefit the people you interact with every day?

I must believe that whatever I need to sacrifice for God’s glory and to benefit others is worth it. Jesus came to be our sacrifice. He didn’t come to make a name for Himself. He didn’t come to live a happy, normal life. He came for you and He came for me. He came with one goal: To fulfill the purpose the Father had sent Him for. That was it. Anything else that He desired took a back seat. Anything else became an offering of love to the Father. He gave Himself willingly. He laid down HIs life, no one took it from Him. (John 10:18) At the bottom of every pain that He endured — all the rejection, every horrible word spoken to Him, every lash, each hammer strike — was joy. He had great joy knowing that His sacrifice was purchasing our freedom and restoring our relationship with the Father. (Hebrews 12:2 ) Jesus acted from a conviction that HIs sacrifice was necessary for our benefit and from a love that deemed us worth it. How amazing that is!

He calls you and I to take up our cross and follow Him in the same kind of self-sacrificing attitude (Matthew 10:38; Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23; Luke 14:27) If I need to set my own opinions aside so that I can help someone else get closer to God, then the sacrifice is worth it. If I need to leave a comfortable position in order to serve in a different community, then it’s worth it. If I need to stay right where I am even though it’s difficult, then it’s worth it. The people that you and I have the opportunity to influence every day are worth our sacrifice, aren’t they? Jesus died for them just as much as He died for you and me, right? If I have the same attitude as Jesus, then whatever I have to set aside to help them know Him is worth it. 

My friend, I know that what you are walking through is not easy. That challenging person renews hurt on a daily basis. I get it. Sometimes that hurt can challenge your faith. Some days it can be overwhelming. I understand that sometimes you feel like your efforts for God are invisible. Sometimes you wonder if anyone sees or appreciates the things that you are doing for them. Sometimes you might even wonder if God sees and appreciates it. Your brain knows He does, but your heart sometimes feels abandoned. 

Rest in this, Dear One: Jesus went first. He paved the way for you and set the example for you to follow. (John 15:13) When you make God’s will your priority, when you remember that you exist for the benefit of others and that your sacrifice is worth it, you will find yourself living the most fulfilling and satisfying life possible. It won’t be easy. I understand. But it is a priceless treasure. 

That challenging person? Yours and mine? They are worth our sacrifice. Jesus showed the way. Let’s follow Him together!

Key thought: When my attitude is the same as Christ, life becomes a fulfilling and satisfying treasure. 

A Scripture to consider:  “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:5‬ ‭NLT

A YES challenge: Take a few moments and list all the things you are good at. Remember, humility acccurately acknowledges strengths as well as weaknesses. Present your list to God in prayer and ask Him how he wants to use you for HIs glory and the benefit of others.

Prayer: Jesus, I am overwhelmed when I think about all that You went through in Your life on earth. You endured so much emotional , social and physical pain! Yet, You did not stumble in Your purpose. You stayed focus on the things that mattered most: The Father’s will and glory; The restoration of humanity’s relationship with God. You believed that I was worthy Your pain. I can’t really take that in! Help me to face my challenging relationships with the same attitude. Help me to make my priority God’s will and glory for the benefit of others. Amen.