What is God up to? Do you ever wonder that? You are being as faithful as you know how, but it seems like nothing is going right. You look back on your life. You think about all that you imagined it would be. You had imagined a lane bordered with flowers, wonderful scents, glorious colors, bright sunshine. What you see as you look back is more like a grey muddy path lined with rocks and brush. Why, God? Did I do something wrong? Did I take a wrong turn? What do I need to change? This is not the life I imagined at all! What am I supposed to do?

Tell God all about how you feel. The best thing you can do is bring God your questions. I remember doing that behind the wheel of a car. It was a long drive. I can’t even remember where I was going, but the prolonged drive time was a welcome opportunity to ponder and pray. God and I covered many miles and multiple topics as I made my way closer to my destination. It had been a particularly difficult season in our lives personally and professionally. Our kids were young which carries it’s own brand of struggle and exhaustion. Driving a car where only the driver’s seat was occupied was a welcome oddity. I found a freedom in uninterrupted, unfiltered conversation as God and I traveled together.

Let Him show you what you really want.  I thought that God needed to change a few things in my life and I told Him so. There were situations that needed to be resolved. People that needed new attitudes. Tasks I needed to accomplish. But as a bright green sign with a white border and white letters pointed me toward my exit, the random rambling suddenly settled on a statement from within myself that shocked me. “Lord, following You isn’t easy, but it is satisfying." There! That was it! This was what made all the struggle worthwhile. This was what motivated me to keep going on the long journey, not my road trip, but the journey of following Jesus and pursuing His will and His way along a surprisingly grey path lined with rocks.

Recognize what you really need. The definition of satisfying is this: “producing pleasure and contentment by providing what is needed or wanted.” Easy is not usually satisfying. Satisfaction, pleasure and contentment,  comes with knowing that my effort is worthwhile and will have long term value. What I really needed then, and what I need now, was not a resolution to everything I thought was wrong, but a meaningful connection with God. What I wanted, and still want, is to know that my life makes a difference, that all I pour into others, especially the stuff that seems unappreciated, is worth something. What I need and want is to know that my life has value, that I am worth something to someone. Isn’t that what you want, too? Satisfaction. Contentment. That was what I was really looking for and God used our conversation to help me know it. Might that be what you are looking for, too?

Keep the long view. As I reached my physical destination I realized that I was also reaching a spiritual destination. I understood what it was about following Jesus that made so much sense, even when it seemed to make no sense at all. It was satisfying. There was contentment because, even though my life seemed lousy at that moment, I knew I was receiving what I really needed. That journey to an unremembered destination gave me a compass that has guided my life’s journey ever since as I journey toward the undiscovered country of  the future. Regardless of what obstactes and difficulties I may face, what I really need is found in Jesus and my relationship with Him. Family relationships may go sour. Professional endeavors may fall flat. The bank account may never overflow. Yet, I have something that will fulfill me for the long haul. I have a relationship with Christ that satisfies me every day. I am loved and valued by Him. He sees everything I do for others because I belong to Him and it means something to Him. It makes a difference. I make a difference. And so do you.

What makes a journey with Jesus so fulfilling? What is it about Him that brings peace and comfort in a topsy-turvey, scattered and jumbled life? Sometimes the thing that God uses to develop our character is perseverance. Your continued commitment to be faithful regardless of circumstances is what prepares you to experience God’s presence in a greater way. Your perseverance is what will deepen your relationship with Him, which really is the ultimate goal. Somehow, in the midst of the situation I don’t want I experience what I really do want: God’s presence. God’s pleasure. God’s promise that He will take all the rocks and transform them into jewels for my crown when I stand before Him at the end of all things. He fulfills because He keeps His promise to be with me through it all.

Dear Friend, I don't know what you are facing right now. It may seem like nothing is going right. You wonder what this is all for. All I can say to you is that it’s worth it. It’s not easy. That’s a fact. But it itruly is satisfying. Persevere. Don’t give up. He is with you.

Key thought: Following Jesus is not easy, but it is satisfying.

A Scripture to consider: “Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10:36‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A YES challenge: As you look back on your life, what do you see? Do you see a grey muddy path lined with rocks? Imagine yourself taking each one of those rocks and placing them in the hands of Jesus. What does He tell you? How can you find satisfaction in Him during your journey?

Prayer: Dear Lord, this is not the life I imagined. This is not what I thought you had promised me, but as I think about what You have said in Your Word, I realize that you didn’t promise me flowers and sunshine. You promised that You would be with me no matter what. I choose today to rejoice in that promise. Help me to keep my hand in Yours as I walk this grey muddy path. I trust you to get me through to the end when I will be with You forever. I love you, Jesus. Amen.

Photo credit: Derrick Cooper, accessed on Unsplash.com