“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 NLT

I don’t remember meeting Tom. It was somewhere near the end of elementary school. We were never in the same class, but our families attended the same Catholic church. In high school, we were in plays together. We have known each other through the best and worst of seasons, even before we were married. Watching God transform Tom has been one of my life’s greatest privileges.

From the moment he first surrendered his life to Christ at the age of 19, I have watched Tom pursue God zealously. When my own commitment to Christ brought me to the same church he was attending, we rebuilt a broken relationship and became good friends until God surprised us with love and marriage. He is not the same sarcastic boy who cut people down with his words in high school. And he is not the same fearful young man that I married. He has pressed on through a myriad of challenges, internal and external. And that is what I have learned most from Tom. Pressing on is more important than perfection.   

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned from Tom. Maybe he will inspire you as well.

Don’t let fear keep you from trying.  Fear nearly stopped our marriage from happening. My young fiancé was so afraid of failing as an adult that he thought of calling it off. But he told me, “If I don’t marry you, I don’t think I’ll marry anyone.” He knew his issue was fear and he didn’t let fear stop him. The first year was challenging, but that is another story. We made it through.

Fear of failure can stop us dead in our tracks. It’s probably my greatest fear.  Long ago I decided that I didn’t want fear to be the reason I don’t try something. Maybe I learned that from Tom. The decision to push past fear is a choice that he has made over and over in the thirty-seven years following our marriage. Sometimes the results were messy, but that’s how we grow. And Tom has continued to grow and grow and grow. Thank you, Tom, for marrying me. Your example has helped me learn to push past my fears and pursue God’s best for me.

Forget the past and push to the other side of failure.  It is inevitable that you and I will fail. It’s hard for us to face. It’s a truth we would rather ignore, but it is fact all the same. The important part of failure is how we allow it to shape us. Every failure is an opportunity to learn. Every failure can become a bridge to better.

That said, there have been failures in Tom’s life as well. No more or less than anyone else. Crossing the bridge to better means learning from the past and leaving it behind. I’ve watched Tom cross that bridge over and over.

There have been dark moments. It’s important to acknowledge that truth because the dark moments are the ones that matter most. Choosing to push past failure after looking it squarely in the face becomes a moment that defines the future. Those moments define who we are. Tom is a stronger, more secure, and stable man today because of crossing the failure bridge to better. I am so proud of you, Tom!

Ask for forgiveness and keep reaching for better. Can you think of someone in your life who has set an example of humility by regularly asking for forgiveness when they fall short or hurt you? Tom is that example for me. I don’t remember any adult in my childhood who sat down with me and asked my forgiveness for something they said or did. Tom was always willing to do that with our kids and with me. It has been a hard example for me to follow. Let’s face it. Asking for forgiveness and owning up to messing up is hard! But seeing his willingness to do it has made me swallow my own pride and make the effort. I haven’t always done it well, but without Tom’s example, I probably would not have done it at all.

Thank you, Tom, for setting such a rare example. It’s worth so much more than you realize.

Dear Friend, do you struggle with needing to be perfect? I have. It has often been difficult for me to discern the difference between a desire for excellence and a need for perfection. I am still learning.

God calls us toward the perfection of Christ-like character, knowing that we won’t achieve it this side of heaven. He delights in the process of transforming us into the image of Jesus throughout our earthly lives. Watching God transform Tom as he presses on toward that prize has been one of my greatest inspirations.

Tom, you inspire me more than you will ever realize. Keep pressing on! You make a difference.

Key Question: Who inspires you to press on toward the prize of Christ-like character?

A Scripture to Consider: “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 NLT

A YES Challenge: Review some of the lessons I’ve learned from Tom. What one lesson will you apply to your own life today?

Prayer: Father God, I am so grateful for Tom. You knew who I needed in my life. You knew the example I needed to inspire me as I pursue You. Thank You for Tom’s tenacity to press on even when he felt lost and unsure. He has maintained his hope in You even when he was tempted to quit. He has pressed past failure toward the perfection You call us all to. I am so grateful for the man he has become and is becoming. Continue Your good work in him and me. Let his example continue to inspire all those who know him. Amen.