It still haunts me all these years later. My selfishness and insensitivity. I often yearn for an opportunity to speak to her and tell her how sorry I am, but it will most likely not happen this side of heaven.

My best friend and I were renting a townhouse apartment. (Thank you, Rita, for charging us what we could afford, rather than what it was worth!) We felt like grownups and were thrilled to be able to host our church singles group and other friends. We even got to foster some cats while we lived there. We loved having an open home!

When Karen was looking for a temporary place to stay to help her save money for a mission trip we were willing to help. We decided that the best place for her to stay was on the floor in my room. After all, it was only supposed to be for a month! Well, one month became six, and I don’t remember what happened with the mission trip, but my room never became our room. I continued to treat Karen like a temporary guest whose only space was the mattress on the floor.

One evening I came into my room and found her clothes draped over my desk chair. I picked them up and dropped them onto her mattress. My friend told me later how upset Karen was about that. She had just ironed her clothes and hadn’t gotten a chance to hang them up yet. I felt a small twinge, but it was still my room and my chair.

I feel very differently now. I realize that I never opened my heart to fully receive Karen into my space, to love her with the love of Christ. I had been selfish, territorial and ungracious. Christ-like character would have behaved much differently. I’d like to apologize to Karen, not just for the clothes thrown on the mattress, but for my unloving attitude. I’d like to be able to ask her to forgive me and have a chance to make it up to her.

That is a regret that I live with, among many others. And though it still pains me, it doesn’t cripple me. Why? Because I know that I am forgiven. I would hope that if I had the opportunity to speak with Karen she would for give me. Yet, even if she didn’t, I know that I am still forgiven. I have repented. I have recognized my own fault and laid it at the foot of the cross where the blood of Christ has washed it clean. How grateful I am to have a place to bring my regrets and release them!

What about you, dear friend? Are you carrying some regrets, too? Do you know that forgiven is part of who you are? Jesus went to the cross to purchase forgiveness for your tendency to sin, not just your sinful actions,  and when you come to Him to receive that forgiveness, all those unresolved regrets have a place to rest. They may haunt you some, but they don’t have to hound you. “As far as the east is from the west so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”(Psalm 103:12)

Clean and forgiven. Pure as the driven snow. That’s you and that’s me. Forgiven.

Key thought: Forgiven is who I am. 

A Scripture to consider: ““Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” Isaiah‬ ‭1:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

A YES challenge:  Have you given your regrets a place to rest? Take some time to lay them at the foot of the cross and release them. Remind yourself that forgiven is who you are.

Prayer: Father, sometimes I beat myself up about the bad choices I’ve made. I hate my own tendency to sin! Help me remember Your patience and Your willingness to forgive me. Thank You for sending Jesus so that I can be forgiven and so that forgiven can be who I am. Help me remember that when I am mulling over my regrets, and help me leave them at the foot of the cross. Amen.