Isn’t it odd that in our highly connected online society Isolation is epidemic? People often feel alone in a crowd, even though they have hundreds of Facebook “friends.” Many of us even feel alone in our church, a place that is called “the family of believers.” Maybe you feel that way, too. Why? How did this happen? Most importantly, what do we do about it?
How do we overcome our sense of isolation and aloneness?
Practice God’s presence. As believers we we start to overcome aloneness by remembering that if God is who we say He is, then He truly is always with us and we are never alone. You and I need to find ways to stay connected to God in the midst of our days and guard them with all our strength. When we focus on ourselves, our tasks and troubles, we lose touch with God.
I have found it really hard to stop in the middle of the day and just be in His presence, yet, when I do, I am reminded that I am not alone. The reconnecting makes a difference in the rest of my day. I also have learned to take time every day to thank Him for the good things in my life, like I got up this morning, am breathing, have a place to live and food to eat. Thankfulness opens the door to His presence. As it says in Psalm 100:4, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name.” When I am connected to God, His presence fills the empty space around me, and even though I still need human relationship, I don’t feel alone.
Reach out! Don’t wait for people to reach out to you. Part of our Isolated and Isolating society is that we get so focused on our own lives that we don’t reach out to other humans. Yet, because we so desperately desire connection, we still expect other humans to reach out to us. We crave it, because we need it. Because we need it, we have to take action.
Here’s a tip: Be the reacher. People really will respond to your reaching. It is true that they might not follow through with actually getting together, but they will express their desire to do so. Like you, they sometimes have a hard time stopping their own activity enough to connect with someone else. But they really do want to, so don’t give up. Be intentional about connecting with other humans. When you keep reaching out, someone will reach back.
So, I’ll tell you a secret. Now, don’t tell anyone! I have a reminder in my phone to “Reach out.” It’s true! I have often found myself in exactly the situation I have described. I get so busy doing that I don’t stop to connect with other people. I may be getting stuff done, but in the end I feel isolated. I am sorry to say that when I am focused on my to-do list I lose track of my need for relationship. I have had to remind myself that reaching out is something I need to do. If that is what it takes to overcome your Isolation, then maybe you need to do it, too. It will be our secret. Shh!
Recognize the season you are in and be intentional about relationships. Some seasons are more isolating than others. When I was a young, stay-at-home mom with two toddlers I felt alone...because I was alone a lot of the time. I had to make the effort to intentionally get together with someone else.
A friend and I, another mom of small kids in a one-car family, made a standing once-a-week date. Tom and I were living with my parents, so her one bedroom apartment was the place to meet. Since we had one car, and Tom had gone back to school full-time to complete his unfinished degree, that meant I had to get my two little ones up and dressed early enough to drive Tom to the community college so that I could have the car and meet with my friend. And by the way, it also meant that we had to drive back at the end of the day. Two toddlers who missed naps are known to be cranky. Get the picture? But it was so worth it!
Our getting together was a lifeline for my friend and I. Our situations had parallels. They had their own apartment, but the one bedroom was for the kids, four of them before they finally moved into a house. They slept on a mattress in the living room, pulled out at night. We lived in the downstairs room at my parents, divided by furniture so that the kid’s beds were on one side and the living area was on the other. We slept on a fold-out couch...for three years. It felt like forever at the time. My friend and I encouraged each other just by being together. It didn’t matter what we did or what we talked about. Being together reminded us that we weren’t alone. I am so thankful that she was willing to be intentional with me.
I’d be willing to bet that you have someone in your life like that. Maybe it’s time to figure out who that is, reach out and be intentional about spending time with them.
Dear Friend, you really are not alone. You may feel like it often, but I encourage you to find ways to remind yourself that it isn’t the truth. There are people in your life that you can reach out to, and, above all, you have a Father who cares and is with you always. Jesus promised his followers, “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20 NLT) Remember God, reach out to others and recognize your season won’t last forever.
You are not alone, Dear One. You really aren’t.
Key thought: Remember, you aren’t really alone.
A Scripture to consider: “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.“ Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT
A YES challenge: Prayerfully consider who in your life you can intentionally reach out to and build a mutually encouraging relationship with. If you feel alone, you don’t have to stay alone. There is someone!
Prayer: Lord I am thankful for Your presence in my life. I am so grateful that I have You. But sometimes I still feel alone. Show me the people in my life that I can reach out to. Help me to be intentional about overcoming isolation. Help me to be the reacher and remember that this season won’t last forever. Amen.