“You have a lot of wisdom,” someone recently said to me. “You know what that comes from?” I responded, “Years!” I have found growing older to be more emotionally challenging than I expected, but it does have at least one benefit. My years have given me experiences that have taught me. Surprisingly or not, it’s probably the experiences I wouldn’t have chosen that have taught me the most.
So, what does one do with this treasure-trove of accumulated lessons? What you and I have learned from our years, many or few, isn’t meant just for ourselves. God has taught us things so that we can share.
American culture prizes do-it-yourself make-it-happen individualism. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to simply know what we need to know so that we can do what we need to do. But we don’t just know it, so we often feel like failures.
God has made us to need each other and one of the ways we need each other is in sharing what we have learned. You may be on the verge of something new in your life. You see a path in front of you that is unfamiliar and challenging. You feel ill-equipped. Maybe even scared. You may not realize that some of the answers you are looking for can be found in someone else’s years and experience. You really don’t have to figure it out for yourself. But, on the flip-side, even your minimal experience may be what someone else needs. Yes! You do have something to share!
You can learn from the failures of others or learn from your own failures. It really is true that experience is the best teacher. We don’t like it, at least I don’t, but, we learn most from our own failures. It’s a fact. If you would prefer to avoid failure, (Count me in!) you do have some options. You can learn from someone else’s failure.
Let me just say right off that you can’t avoid every failure. It just isn’t possible. I know, I’ve tried! When I am approaching something new I research and try to learn as much as possible so that I don’t fail. But there are times when God knows that the best way for me to learn is to walk through the failure. So, even though I try to avoid it, He allows me to go through it. I think those times are the exception rather than the rule. So, I share with you from my years: Find someone who has walked in the direction you are heading and learn from their failure so that you don’t have to go through it!
Find someone who is a few steps ahead of you and learn from their life. Whatever it is that you are about to attempt has been accomplished before. Solomon made it clear in the book of Ecclesiastes, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Even your freshest idea has probably been tried before in some iteration. If you will make the effort to find a mentor and learn from them, you will not be sorry.
Mentors come in more than one form. It can be formal, but it can also be informal. You may find someone that you can actually talk to and meet with regularly, but mentoring can also take the form of YouTube videos, books or podcasts. Find someone whose resume you respect and learn from their experience through whatever means are available to you. They have what you do not. Accumulate questions and ask them. Observe how they respond to the challenges they face. Learn from their life.
Mentoring isn’t always face to face. I am a reader. I always have been. One of the ways that I find mentors is to read. My library includes biographies, but also books by people well-known for walking through challenging circumstances. I’ve learned from the likes of Elisabeth Elliot, whose young missionary husband was murdered by the very people they came to reach, and from Corrie Ten Boom, who survived a concentration camp after hiding Jews in her home during Word War II, and Mother Theresa, whose legacy is a life of love for the down-trodden.
Modern-day mentors I have learned from include Kay Warren, wife of author and pastor, Rick Warren. I was in the middle of reading her book, Choose Joy, when the news broke that their youngest son had taken his own life. I have watched her live out the words she had written. I listen to Joanna Weaver’s podcast. She is the author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World and I had the opportunity to hear her speak and receive prayer from her at a conference. As I came forward for prayer, she wrapped her arms around me and whispered her prayer in my ear. That experience made her feel like a friend. Her warmth and vulnerability as she shares are a challenge to me. I want to be like Joanna.
Podcasts by Michael Hyatt and Kathi Lipp address more practical leadership and communication topics. Compel Training is a writing community that offers me a ton of writing mentors. We need different mentors for different areas. They are out there and you can find them.
One caveat: One of my traps is that I am always looking for new information. I love the research. It’s just part of how I am made. It is a help, but also a hazard. Gaining new information without processing and applying it has no value. Don’t just accumulate facts. Living what we learn has got to be the goal. I am still working on this. You can learn from my failures right there!
Faraway mentors have great value, but the people I have learned the most from are those I have simply done life with. I have mentioned Sharon, my friend’s mother and then the wife of my pastor, whose example of love for God and people still challenges me. I find myself quoting my friend, Ginny, more often than I would have ever thought possible. Ellen was my roommate when we were single young ladies and is now a missionary whose life in another culture makes her sensitive to issues that I might not pay attention to.
I watch members of our congregation walk with grace through the worst of circumstances and I learn from them. I listen to the stories of gray-haired men and women and am inspired by their triumph, tragedy and courage. Mission trips have exposed me to people whose lives are so different from mine, but whose inner needs are the same. Unbelievers still need the hope that only Jesus can offer. Believers still want to serve God whole-heartedly and find creative ways to do so in their context so that they can reach others for Christ. Their commitment and creativity teach me.
Mentors are all around you. Observe. Ask questions. Learn from what experience has taught them. Experiences are our friends and friends are meant for sharing. Now that I am over a certain age, I have realized that my years definitely qualify me for the experience-to-share category. But age isn’t the only factor.
No matter your age, your experience may be exactly what someone else needs. You have experienced things that others haven’t. You have something to share. So find someone to share it with. Be intentional, but sensitive. You can’t force someone to learn. The most important thing that you do is to share yourself. You are your most valuable asset.
Live. Learn. Share.
Yes! Even you!
Key Thought: Learn from the experience others and share what you’ve learned from yours.
A Scripture to consider: “As apostles of Christ we certainly had a right to make some demands of you, but instead we were like children among you. Or we were like a mother feeding and caring for her own children. We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too.” 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 NLT
A YES Challenge: Think of one person whose resume you respect. Consider what you have already learned just from observing their life and make a few notes. Next, get to know them better. Read books, listen to podcasts or, if you can, invite them out for coffee. You may not be able to articulate all that you learn, but be intentional about reaching for it. It will be worth it!
Prayer: Father, thank You for the many people You have placed in my life that I can learn from. I realize that I have learned already from so many people. Their experiences, their failures and successes challenge and inspire me. Help me to be more intentional about learning from the experience of others. And help me be willing to share what You have taught me through my own experiences, even the ones I didn’t handle well. Father, I am so grateful for all that I have learned. Help me to share. Amen.