“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” Romans 8:14 NIV
Have you ever let loose some toothpaste words? You know the kind I mean. You say something that you wish you could take back as soon as it”s out of your mouth, but, like the proverbial toothpaste, you can’t put it back in. I am old enough that I could probably fill millions of toothpaste tubes with the words I wish I could take back. Words that hurt someone else. Words that revealed my own pride and insecurity. Foolish words. Harsh words. Words I had no business speaking. I have been in conversations where I was literally biting my tongue to prevent myself from letting out words I would regret. Words are important. They have a short duration, but a long impact. One reason I like writing is that it gives me a chance to refine my words before I send them out. Proofreading what I write keeps me from toothpaste words. What if we took the effort to “proofread” our thoughts before we let them become spoken words?
It’s not a stretch to say that lack of restraint is causing a lot of problems around the world. Much of the chaos in the world we live in is simply the result of people not guarding their own words and behavior. Many people in our current culture don’t really care about their toothpaste words. You see them all over social media. You hear them in songs, on TV, podcasts, the radio. But all these unfiltered words are merely symptoms of a much bigger problem. People don’t make the effort to control themselves. They don’t control their words, or their behavior and the result is a chaotic world filled with damaged people who hurt others because of their own hurt through their lack of restraint. This isn’t the way God intended human relationships to be, but it is universally true and all of us suffer for it. So, what can you and I do? Where can we start? How can we make a dent in the chaos around us?
A better world starts with putting the cap on toothpaste words. Making the effort to control our words takes self-control and, the fact is that self-control improves relationships. Ultimately, the purpose of the quality of self-control is to benefit other people. When you and I exercise self-control, we help to bring some calm into the chaos swirling around us. Many of our neighbors have cast off restraint. They don’t even try to control themselves. Whether it is words and emotions or substance consumption or financial decisions, people are most governed by their whims and desires. They don’t stop and think. They don’t consider others. They are led by what benefits themselves and hurt others as a byproduct. You and I can change our world, the world we touch, by making the effort of self-restraint. When we control our words and behavior, we change the atmosphere where we are. We improve our relationships. We make the world better in our little corner of it.
But do we really have the power to make those world-improving decisions consistently? The truth is that, no matter how hard we try, you and I lack the self-control needed to really make a difference. We need a greater power, and it is available to us through the Holy Spirit. Part of the job of the Holy Spirit is to help us grow more like Jesus. The Scripture says, “Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (Romans 8:14) When I am led by the Spirit of God I look more like Jesus. I have the self-control I need to keep my tongue and actions in check.
As the Holy Spirit grows me, He affects how I relate to others. Christian maturity is intimately connected with human relationships. There is no getting around it. I can’t tell of my wonderful experiences alone with God and then speak unkindly to the waitress at the diner or the clerk at the cash register, or my late-for-dinner family member and believe that I am a mature Christian. That isn’t the way it works. If I am maturing, the time I spend with God will bring out a sweetness in the way I treat each person in my path. Self-control is not more willpower. It is giving God more control over how I respond to the world around me so that they see more of Christ in me. Out-of-control behaviors serve self. Self-control serves others. Self-control is really God-control.
Self-control cannot be developed in isolation. It is not tested until I am in situations that cause me to be uncomfortable or unhappy. In those moments, I need to rely on the Holy Spirit. My relationship with other believers can help me grow in learning how to do that. I can rely on my Christian community to point me in the right direction, to remind me of what a godly response looks like. The goal of my response must be Christ-like character. Through our time together in the Word of God, I grow in my understanding of who Jesus is, what His character looks like. I grow in gaining mastery of myself and giving more control of my life to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. When I spend time with other believers I grow in my relationship with Christ and that helps me grow in my relationships with others. It is a God-designed cycle that perpetuates the kind of relationships that God designed us for.
For the Christian, Self-control is God-control. It is the foundational virtue that all the others depend on. Self-control is necessary to be patient, kind and gentle. It is necessary to curb fear so that I have peace and can respond with joy. It fuels my faithfulness. It enables me to set aside self and truly love others. My self-control will benefit everyone I come in contact with. It will better display Jesus through me. I will have greater contentment because my focus and center is not my self and unfulfilled desires. My greatest desire will be to glorify Christ and serve others. If you and I focused on that, don’t you think we could make our world a better place for the people we touch? How about it? Let’s give God more control of our lives and make our world better.
Key thought: Self-control is God-control.
A Scripture to consider: “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” Romans 8:14 NIV
A YES challenge: Have you let out some toothpaste words in the last few days? Start to make your world better by being more aware of the words you speak. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you put a cap on your toothpaste words and help you give God more control over your response to others.
Prayer: God, You know my weakness. I really do want to control my words and behaviors. I want to benefit others by my responses, but I struggle. Help me to give You more control. Holy Spirit guide me. I want to look more like Jesus in the way I relate to others. I need Your power so that I can make my world a better place. Amen.