“If one more person says, ‘He’s in a better place” I’m going to throw up!”, she said. It was the wake for someone we deeply loved, but who was not one of our family. His close family member felt she could be honest with me about the emptiness of the well-meaning, shallow expressions of sympathy being offered her and the rest of the family. While the supporters attempted to focus on the positive, this man was a passionate believer in Jesus Christ and had graduated to his place in heaven, they negated the deep pain of those who loved him most. They defaulted to a false faith that didn’t allow for the genuine reality of suffering this side of heaven. The result was their words simply skipped over, rather than soothed, the loss. This believing family was left alone in their grief, though surrounded by many others who had come to offer condolences.
So much in our society is polished and packaged. Only perfect images are presented to the public. Whether we admit it or not, the church has been influenced. We’ve learned to only admit the positive and often deny the negative, but in doing so, sometimes we ignore reality. We dont allow ourselves to be real about how difficult life is. We offer each other spiritual platitudes rather than entering into each other’s pain. Is that really what we are supposed to do? Aren’t we supposed to remind each other of the Truth? Of course we are, but not to the point of ignoring reality.
This grieving family had no doubts that their loved one had gone to a better place. They didn’t need that reminder. They needed others to come alongside them and enter into their loss. To remind them that “though weeping endures for the night, joy comes in the morning” and “the Lord comforts us in all our troubles” or that He will “never leave us or forsake us.” They needed people to remember their loved one with them, his faults as well as his strengths. They needed to be encouraged in a faith that accepts the temporary pain of earth while firmly fixing its eyes on the exceeding joy of the eternal. It’s not a lack of faith to acknowledge what is. It often takes more faith to bring our questions to God thanks does to pretend that we dont have any.
In this case, theire were plenty of questions. This was the funeral of a faithful follower of Jesus, one who had helped many and served continuously. Why had God allowed this? Why weren’t the prayers for healing answered? Why wasn’t the illness found sooner? Why did it consume him so quickly? Why didn’t God extend his life? More and more questions. But the surface sympathy didn’t allow the family to acknowledge their questions. The artificial affirmations of faith left them alone when they most needed the comfort of community.
Beloved, this is a hard question. Are you one who skips over the real in order to announce the true? Believe me I have most definitely been there! However, when we acknowledge the real we dont ignore the true, we emphasize it. At one point in my faith journey, I would have been one of those offering “He’s in a better place.” I would have spoken truth without acknowledging reality. This is hard to grapple with, but in order to truly help others through he pain of earth on the way to eternity we need to develop our own faith enough to be honest about what is. When we do that something amazing and unexpected happens. We deepen our faith in what will be. By looking honestly at the broken world as it really is, we prove that our faith in what will be is the real deal. When we can stare reality in the face and still declare the truth that there is a God in heaven who loves us, is with us now and will bring us to Himself in the end, we prove that our faith is genuine and our God is real. That’s the kind of faith I want. I hope I’m getting there. Why don’t you come with me?
Key thought: We dont need to ignore reality to declare truth.
A Scripture to consider:
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:6-7 NLT
A YES challenge: Ask God to show you if you ignore reality in order to declare truth. Ask Him to help you deepen your faith by accepting what is real while you declare what is true.
Prayer: Father, I really wish that life on earth were easier. The reality that I am currently experiencing is not what I hoped for. Help me to remember that my hope in You is not for a perfect life on earth, but for a perfect eternity in heaven. Help me to fix my eyes on You. Give me grace for the now while I look forward to the not yet. Amen.