“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT

Who helps you grow, my friend? Is there anyone in your life that you trust enough to tell you the truth?

I have a few friends that I know will tell me the truth about myself. They have invested in me, and I in them. We have spent enough time with each other to know each other well. We have gone through challenges and celebrations together. I am grateful for friends like that, but I have learned that those kinds of relationships are not just a blessing. They are essential.

None of us can truly accomplish anything on our own. Even though we may think we do. We need other people to help us become the person God designed us to be. He made us that way. We are created to need each other. Achieving your goals requires other people.

You need a teacher. A teacher shows you what to do. It may be someone with a free YouTube channel, or you may pay for a particular course of action. It may be a friend who is a few steps ahead on the journey or a skilled neighbor who invites you to shadow them and learn. You don’t know what you don’t know until you begin to learn. That’s been my experience.

I’m grateful for all the people who have made their knowledge available through the Internet. But I am most grateful for people who’ve been willing to share their knowledge and experience. Those relationships have been a treasure. We may not have become close friends, but they have deeply impacted me and guided me with their skill. I will always think of them and smile.

You need an encourager. There are several people who have continued to encourage me in my writing journey. They have believed in me and voiced their excitement or commented on things I have written.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.” Psalms 32:8-9 NIV

Tom and I like to begin the year with a season of prayer and fasting. Why? We want our relationship with God to set the tone for the year. What characteristics does He want to build in us? What weaknesses will we work on? What does God want me to know about Him this year? What goals does God want me to set to help me grow toward the person He designed me to be?

Setting God-centered goals starts with asking God what He wants. This goal-setting process begins in the final quarter of the previous year. That is when I begin praying, listening, and looking to discover my word for the next year. That word becomes a guide as I enter the fasting and prayer season. This process of praying and waiting is about staying open. By removing distractions, like sweet treats, social media, or mindless games on my phone, I make space for God to speak. And He does.

God-centered goals often lead us in unexpected ways to unexpected places with unexpected people. Last year one of my goals was to finally finish writing and publish the book that has been in process for a decade, The YES Adventure. That goal led me to apply for an aspiring author’s cohort with a well-known writer and speaker…and I was accepted! I received one one-on-one input from a woman whose ministry I have admired for several years. Her guidance helped me finally see a clear structure for my book. Not only that, but I also received meaningful personal ministry from her at a conference several years ago and was able to tell her how much she had impacted me. After the online meeting she called to tell me she had left that conference discouraged and wondering if she had connected with anyone. I said, “You did! With me!”

I didn’t know about that cohort in January. If I had not recognized God’s nudge to make the book a priority I would never have applied for the group, received clarity on structure, or had the opportunity to encourage my mentor. The goal wasn’t just about the task, but the people who became part of helping me complete the task. Developing tenacity, learning techniques, and influencing people have all been a part of the book project. It’s so much more than achieving a goal. It’s about the growth, more than the goal.

God-centered goals are about God’s plan for my growth.