“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:3-5 NLT
How do you handle the disappointment when something you looked forward to does not happen? Do you let it ruin your day? Do you spew anger all over everyone around you? Do you blame?
It’s a small thing in the big scheme of life, but I was really looking forward to the train ride from Talkeetna to Whittier, Alaska. We traveled in a glass-domed train car, enabling us to absorb the scenic views of the Alaskan countryside as we transitioned from the land portion of our trip onto the cruise ship. A car host was assigned to each car. Their job was to make our trip enjoyable, to tell us what we were seeing along the way and to point out the Alaskan wildlife. Bears, moose, caribou, bald eagles, and Dall sheep, a unique species of wild sheep. Tom and I had watched a promotional video for the train ride when we were exploring the idea of an Alaska trip. The train ride was the bait that hooked us on this itinerary. We envisioned a peaceful, beautiful trip that would be one of the high points of our journey through Alaska. It turned out to be a low point.
The visual experience was all the promotional video promised — minus the bright sunshine. The day of our trip happened to be the only day we had rain in the whole ten days in Alaska, but the views were still spectacular. However, rather than a peaceful ride through the countryside, our trip was more like a visit to a bar full of raucous sports fans. People in other train cars came to call our car “the loud car.” Our young train host encouraged those who were drinking and rowdy. That was his idea of fun. Eventually, he stopped giving any narration along the way. The noise was out of control, spoiling the experience for those of us who had looked forward to a peaceful enjoyment of the natural beauty.
What does Jesus require of us when our hopes are disappointed?
This trip was a test for Tom and me, but preparing my heart in advance helped. I could remind myself, “Whatever happens conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ…” (Philippians 1:27) I was proud of the gracious way Tom spoke to the train manager and informed him of our experience. We believe our example helped the couple seated with us who were also uncomfortable and disappointed with the carnival atmosphere. In fact, the experience connected us. We saw them several times on the trip and even enjoyed a dinner with them. We were able to acknowledge the negative experience without anger and then move past it to enjoy the rest of the trip.
My friend, the key to navigating disappointment is perspective. If I truly believe that God is sovereign and in control, I can accept the negative experiences with hope that God is working it together for good and forming Christ’s character in me. (Romans 8:28-29) Disappointment simply means that I expected something that didn’t happen. When I feel disappointed, I have learned to explore my expectations and ask myself if they were reasonable. Expecting a quiet, enjoyable train ride was reasonable. Expecting our train host to maintain a peaceful atmosphere was reasonable. So, what perspective helped me to navigate this disappointment? An eternal one.
Our greatest hope in this life is God’s presence with us through it as a promise that He is preparing us to spend eternity with Him. This life is not all there is, so our disappointments, though painful, are temporary. They don’t carry the weight of eternity. That perspective helped us to navigate this disappointing moment with God’s grace and transforms the memory into a testimony of God’s gracious empowerment to overcome.
Dear friend, I don’t know what painful moments of disappointment you have been walking through lately. But like our train memory, they can become testimonies of God’s gracious character as you remember His sovereignty, care, and empowering presence. This life is not all there is and one day every disappointment will be redeemed, and it will all be worth it.
Key Question: How should I handle disappointment in a godly way?
A Scripture to Consider: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:3-5 NLT
A YES Challenge: Recall a recent disappointment. What did you hope for? Review your response and consider how you might have responded with a more eternal perspective.
Prayer: Lord, You know me. You know that what I want most is to honor You no matter what. I want to represent You well regardless of what happens. That can be really hard when I am disappointed. When what I was hoping for doesn’t happen, help me draw on Your Spirit within me. Help me to respond in a way that represents You well. My earthly disappointments are temporary, but my hope in You will not be disappointed. Help me keep an eternal perspective. Amen.
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