“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” Proverbs 29:25 NLT
Whose approval do you think you need to be successful? Who are you looking to for validation and acceptance? Who are you hoping will confirm that you are everything that God says you are?
Knowing what God says and believing it are two different things. Don’t I know it? I began my Christian walk as an “expert” in what the Word said, but walking it out for myself… Well, that was a different story.
To believe is to accept as true. However, belief is not enough to transform you and me into the people that God designed us to be. Right? And transformation is our goal. We have to trust in addition to believing if transformation is to take place.
What is the difference? Accepting truth is different than living by that truth. I can believe that what God says about me is true, but when I look to the affirmation of authority figures in my life to confirm that truth I am not walking in trust.
I can’t count on the people I admire to affirm what is true as much as I would like to. I can’t count on myself to know what is true about me and act on it. The only accurate source of truth is the Word of Truth. What does it look like to trust in who the Lord says I am without looking to others to validate me?
When I trust what God says about me, I am not trapped into saying what someone else wants to hear. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like other people to be unhappy with me. That has sometimes caused me to say something less than truthful. Now, that doesn’t sound too bad, right?
A nice older man gave us a cost estimate to upgrade our heating system that was way above our budget. We decided to go with another company that gave us a much lower estimate and had the work done. When that nice older man called to follow up on that estimate, I told him that we were not going to go with him “at this time.” I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and tell him that we had already hired someone else. I still felt terrible and couldn’t figure out why until my husband told me plainly, “You lied.” I had fallen into the trap of fearing people and that was so much worse than hurting that man’s feelings. I called the company back to tell the truth, but I wasn’t able to speak to the man directly. I left a message for him and apologized for not being honest. I never want to feel that way again. I hope I learned my lesson.
When I trust what God says about me, I can be honest about my weaknesses. Have you ever found yourself describing only the best aspects of your accomplishments? Even our most important accomplishment suffers from some imperfections. You and I don’t achieve anything without assistance. And I don’t just mean God’s empowering. Yes, we must remind ourselves that apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5), but I can guarantee that there was at least one person who gave you the boost needed to get you on that horse and ride toward the finish line. There is a team that supports the jockey and horse that wins the Kentucky Derby. There is a crew that supports the driver and car that wins the Daytona 500. We never accomplish alone, but sometimes we make it sound like we do when we talk to others. Why? Because we feel like it’s our accomplishment that gives us value rather than who God says we are, and we look to that other person to affirm it. We can’t admit that we need the help of others to achieve because that would admit the gap in our own abilities. Every achievement was accomplished with someone else’s help, and I need to admit that I needed that help. When I do, I am safely trusting in God’s definition of my person.
When I trust what God says about me, I am safe because I am secure in my worth and don’t need anyone else to affirm it. It is always a welcome experience when someone praises what you or I have done. It is natural to feel good when someone compliments you. Truthfully, sometimes those moments can lead to deeper relationships because we feel like that person sees us and values us. But do I need that praise to feel safe? Do I need that compliment to feel valued?
Whose words do I welcome because they anchor my identity and underscore my sense of value? The trap is not in receiving compliments but in cherishing them. True humility understands and accepts strengths as well as weaknesses, receives the affirming words of others with grace, and then offers that gift back to God.
I know who I am without Him. That is the truth. I have taken time to reflect on the roads I might have traveled if I had not welcomed Jesus into my life and allowed Him to direct my steps. None of those roads would have led me to who I am now and what I have been able to accomplish. I have learned, and am still learning, that receiving positive words from other people with grace is part of giving God honor. It’s false humility to reject or deflect a compliment. My response has become, “Thank you. I’m grateful.” And I truly am grateful. What I accomplish is a direct result of Jesus in my life. I don’t need others to affirm it, but their words remind me of what He has done. I am grateful.
Dear Friend, there is a subtle line between the need for people to help us accomplish God’s plans and the need for people to affirm us as we accomplish them. Beware of the pitfalls of needing approval and fearing rejection. That pit turns up in every person’s path. In my path and yours. When we trust in who God says we are, we don’t fall into that pit. He keeps us safe.
Key Question: What does it look like to trust in who the Lord says I am without looking to others to validate me?
A Scripture to Consider: “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” Proverbs 29:25 NLT
A YES Challenge: Whose approval do you crave? As you see that face in your imagination, choose to replace that image with the face of Jesus. Pray to crave His approval above all.
Prayer: Dear Father, too often I find myself looking to others to affirm my value. I fear their disapproval and rejection. Help me to fully trust in You to affirm and approve me. My identity is safely held in Your hands. Thank You! Amen.