I was shocked when she said it. A year had passed since we had to step down from the leadership position where she had been part of our team. When it first happened we had considered leaving the church to avoid the pain, but, after prayer and consideration, we stuck it out. It was incredibly painful at first, but over time life became more "normal", whatever that means. Now, here she was saying, "If you had left, we would have left, too." In the time of our overwhelming grief and confusion over what was happening it never occurred to us that someone was watching how we handled it. But she and her husband were and our choices made a difference for them. 

You never know who is watching you. If you were aware that you were being watched, how would you behave differently? Are you consciously working on setting a good, godly example for the people around you? Think about it. Who might be watching you? Your spouse, your children, your co-worker, your neighbor, your extended family? Who is watching the way you respond to your current crisis and what kind of example are you setting for them? If you and I believe that God works everything together for good, might He use your most difficult situation, or mine, as a good example for someone else? I know He will because He I have seen Him do it in my life. 

In Paul's letter to Titus there is an exhortation that applies to you and me: “In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” ‭‭Titus‬ ‭2:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬  Let's think about it. 

"In everything." What does "in everything" encompass? In. Every. Thing. 

"In" implies during all events. As any situation unfolds. Whatever is happening around you. Wherever you find yourself. 

"Every." Every includes all possible situations and with each individual. Each person is valuable. Each situation is important. "Every." indicates no exceptions. 

"Thing." An object with no specific name. It isn’t distinguished from any other object or situation. It is undefined and unspecified. 

"In everything." Wherever you find yourself on any day and whatever is happening around you, that’s when  the apostle Paul is encouraging Titus, you and me to set an example. 

"Set them an example." It has amazed me to notice how many times the apostle Paul openly invites his readers, friends that he has taught about Jesus, to follow his example. I've noticed it in 1 Corinthians (1 Cor. 11:1) and also in Philippians (Phil. 3:17, 4;9), but I imagine that it is implied elsewhere. He encourages his friends to put into practice what he has taught them by doing what he has done. His bold invitation challenges me! Am I confident enough in my walk with Christ to say, “Follow my example”? There are people that I knowingly want to set an example for, my family most prominently. But the truth I have come to understand is that I am setting an example for every person I come in contact with, whether I am aware or not. People like the grocery store checkout clerk. The receptionist at the doctor‘s office. The gas station attendant. The mail carrier. Every person I come in contact with is unconsciously noticing how I behave. What kind of example am I setting for them? My behavior matters IN EVERYTHING, and so does yours. You are setting an example whether or not you realize it. What kind of example are you setting?

"Do what is good." To do what is good is to do what is appropriate to the situation. To behave in the best possible manner. Ultimately, as a Christian, for me to do what is good is to reflect the character of Christ. Regardless of another person’s behavior, God’s desire for me is that I would do what best represents Him. I may not be clear on what that is all the time, but I can trust the Holy Spirit to guide me. Truthfully, sometimes I am not sure that I have done what is "good" until well after I've made the choice. Sometimes I am not clearly aware of what the Holy Spirit is showing me. All I can do in the moment is make the best choice I can and trust that, even though I am not sure, the Holy Spirit really is guiding me. 

When Tom and I decided to stay in that church we were struggling to follow what we believed the Holy Spirit was guiding us to do, the thing we didn’t want to do, the thing that would cost us the most. We didn't realize that we were setting an example. We were unaware that in that situation, we had done the right thing, the "good" thing. We were just trying to survive and to follow God to the best of our ability. The results were totally unexpected. What might the result be if you do what is good in your current challenge, even if it costs more than you want?

Ultimately, I want the example of my life to point others to Jesus. I want the way I respond to annoyances and tragedies to show them how to live for Him. What about you? I know that someone is watching you. You can do this, my friend! The Holy Spirit will help you!

Key thought: You are setting an example for someone. Make it a good one!

A Scripture to consider: “In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” ‭‭Titus‬ ‭2:7‬ ‭NIV

A YES challenge: Make a list of all the people who might be watching you on a daily basis. Consider the example you are currently setting for them. What changes do you need to make in order to set a better example for them?

Prayer: Lord, I want to be confident enough in the example I am setting that I can boldly encourage others to follow me, just as Paul did. I am not there yet. Help me to seek You first and remember that my choices make a difference, not only in my own life and relationship with You, but in the example I am unconsciously setting for those around me. Help me to do what is good and set an example in everything. Amen. 

UPDATE: Just in case you read last week’s post about my mom and dad’s “three-day story” and hadn’t seen my social media, as of this writing they are on their way home!