This Is Normal?! How To Adjust To What You Didn’t Expect

July 18, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

So, it’s July and I saw my first “back to school” commercial on TV. Really?! But, are kids going back to school in the fall? Actually, the right question is: How are the kids going back to school in the fall? Virtually? In person? A blend of both? My life was structured around the school schedule for more than twenty years when my kids were in school and I worked in schools. It brought a sense of order to all my days and years. Now...what school year schedule?

This is normal?! School plans in the air? Face masks in public? But, that is the new normal, isn’t it? Not knowing what is going to happen. What would normally be anticipated can no longer be expected. Things we didn’t ever imagine are now reality. As you try to plan your calendar for the rest of 2020, I hope you don’t have a pen in your hand! Pencil is the only way to plan these days.

How are you doing with the new normal? Are your fighting it internally? Are you just hanging on until “normal” comes back?

Do you find yourself longing for the normal that you used to know? The normal that you anticipated? Yeah, me too. But it isn’t happening now and won’t be happening in the near future. I hate to break it to you, but the normal that you and I knew is gone for good. There is no turning back. What you and I have to do now is learn to navigate the normal that is, not look back to the normal that was.

How can we make it through the new normal? No, not just make it through. How can you and I thrive and honor God in the midst of this unexpected reality?

First, forget what is behind and accept what is. The key is in recognizing what is real and living there. You can’t really forget what was. That’s not what I am saying. But when we look back at the past and long for it, we can’t move forward. The key to moving forward with grace is to accept what is and let go of what is not. Take a deep breath and then take one last look back. Go ahead! Take that deep breath now! Now, turn your face forward. There, that’s better!

Second, set your mind on the future and look forward to what is ahead. It’s up to you to decide where you will let your thoughts dwell. No one else can do that for you. When you decide to focus on the current reality and look ahead, anticipation will grow within you. Really, it will!

Ask yourself: “What might God want to do in and through me in this new normal? What might be possible now that was not possible before? How is God growing me through this so that I can become the person that He has always intended me to be?”

This new normal is just as full of possibilities as the one we have left behind. When you shift your focus to what lies ahead, the fog begins to clear a bit and you just might be able to discern some shapes on the horizon. Decide how you are going to think about this. Determine where you will let your thoughts wander to...and where you won’t.

Pivot your perspective and press on. What lies ahead is more than just schedules and plans. There is a reality that stretches far beyond the end of your calendar years. Eternity is ahead and that’s what is worth living for. Press on and take hold of the prize of living forever in the presence of the One who loves you completely and continually. This world is temporary and in constant change. What matters most, what really matters, is eternal. The eternal never changes.

Long before the pandemic of 2020 I found myself in the midst of a new normal I didn’t expect. I’d love to share details with you, but it wouldn’t be appropriate. Just let me say that all that I imagined, planned and prayed for seemed to be replaced with the exact opposite, and my new reality was outside the realm of anything I ever imagined.

My life looks nothing like I expected and I have had to wrestle with that in God’s presence...a lot. In all my wrestling I have come to this conclusion: This life is not all there is, and if I say that I believe in heaven and eternity, then that is what I need to live for. Jesus did not die so that I could live a comfortable life on earth, but so that my relationship with God could be restored. Because of the cross, I can taste eternity now and experience complete restoration when this life is over. He opened the door to heaven and I choose to set my mind on things above, not things here on earth. (Colossians 3:2)

The key to remaining steady in uncertain times is to keep the end in mind. What do I really want? More importantly, who do I want to be? What do I want to be known for? Is my strongest desire material comfort and stability, or Is it to represent Christ well?

The new normal is not what I had hoped for or expected. The new normal looks nothing like what I dreamed of. The new normal in some ways is horrifying to me, but, one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and reaching out for what is ahead, I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. He is the one at work in me both to want to and to do what pleases Him. (Philippians 3: 13-14 , 2:13)

Press on, Dear Friend, because in the end our normal will be in His presence forever. That’s a reality worth reaching for.

Key thought: An eternal perspective will help you adjust to what you didn’t expect.

A Scripture to consider: “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:13, 14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A YES challenge: As you face your new normal, ask yourself some questions in God’s presence. “What is it that I really want? What matters most to me?” Allow Him to reveal your own heart to you and ask Him to help you focus on pleasing Him above all.

Prayer: Lord, this normal doesn’t look anything like I expected and I don’t know what is going to happen next or how to prepare for it. Help me to let go of all my expectations and focus on being the person You want me to be, whatever happens. Amen.

Note to Self: To Get Through, Give Thanks

June 13, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” ‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:16-18‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Note: This post was previously published. May it encourage you and give you tools to persevere and overcome during this turbulent time. Much love, Dear Friend!

I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time. I wish I could make it all go away. I really do. I wish I had the resources to just clear everything up and make it all easier for you. But I don't. Even if I did, it might not really be the best thing for you. There are always things that God is working on in us in the middle of the hardest times. It's been that way for me. Yet, in the middle of it, when things are hardest and you wonder how you are going to make it through, sometimes all you want is a little relief.

So, since I can't fix it for you, let me offer you some perspective. Through my hard times, and believe me, I have had a few, I have found an anchor to hold on to. It doesn't change the situation, but it can change you in the situation. Honestly, I have found that to be more valuable than an easy fix to a tough time. As I have changed, I have found the inner strength to make it through. My hope is that it will help you as well. Getting through with grace starts with thankfulness.

Stuck At Home Does Not Mean Stagnant

May 30, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

We had two toddlers and Tom and I found ourselves living with my parents. What was only supposed to be a few months turned into three and a half YEARS! This was the last place I wanted to be. I wanted my own home. I wanted us to be on our own. There were long days when Tom was working or at school (His decision to go back to college was part of what prolonged our stay.) I was home with two small children, alone, without a car, trapped. Mom and Dad were generous and flexible and it really helped us to be living there. I just wanted to be somewhere else and it seemed to last forever!

As difficult as that time was for me, I know that God did some things inside of me that I wouldn't go back and undo if I could. One thing I learned is to persevere, to be patient and wait for Him to move us in His time. Perhaps that is a lesson that you are learning during this time of staying at home. What is God teaching you during this season?

My Sword To Battle Fear...And Yours

May 2, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

I would say that I used to be a pretty fearful person. My biggest fear: FAILURE. I have been afraid of failure to the point of making no decision for fear of making the wrong decision. I would hold back and try to determine the PERFECT choice, which often took so long that I missed an opportunity.

FAILURE may not be your fear. Right now there are a lot of fears out there. Will I or a family member get sick? If I do get sick, will I recover? What if I can’t pay my bills? What if.... just go ahead and fill in the blank. Most of our questions rise from some fear. EVERYONE is experiencing some level of anxiety in our unfamiliar circumstances. It may not be right on the surface for you, but it’s there and I don’t have to convince you about it.

So, how are you doing? How are you handling all of this? I can tell you that I am aware of the low-level anxiety that comes with not being sure of what will happen next, but I no longer get consumed by fear. My thoughts don’t linger on all the what-ifs like they used to. Do you want to know what God used to help me get past that? A middle school field trip. Really! That was it.

What’s Going On In There? A Guide For Staying In Touch With What’s Beneath the Surface.

April 18, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

In this season of global uncertainty every one of us is under stress. No one knows what the future holds. Whatever plans we had are now altered. We don’t know what the future will look like. All the questions and restrictions stir up emotions. In addition, you or someone you love may be sick. How are you feeling? Do you even know? What’s going on in there?

The truth is that in our normal lives most of us don’t slow down enough to be in touch with our emotions. We serve others. We take care of our families. We work. We pursue personal goals. We keep so busy that we don’t have time to really feel anything. But all the emotions we don’t process still exist below the surface of our lives. Without realizing it, what we don’t know about our own emotions spills over and affects our relationships. Like a jar of salad dressing that is continually shaken, everything is all mixed together. You can’t notice the individual ingredients, but each ingredient flavors all the others.

Now, as our lives have been forcibly slowed down, you may be noticing something. What happens when you stop shaking the jar? Some ingredients rise to the top and others sink to the bottom, right? As life has slowed down, or maybe even seemed to stop for you, those feelings that have been mixed in with everything else have started to rise to the surface. Maybe you are having trouble naming what you feel. Maybe you are unsure of how to process it. Maybe you are among the many who, as social media proves, are just trying to keep busy. Part of the unconscious motivation for that is to keep the jar shaken up and push all those feelings back down.

What about you? How are you handling what is rising to the surface? Maybe, just maybe, God is offering you the opportunity to experience Him as you process your emotions. I have been grateful for the moments when I can process this pandemic with God. I firmly believe that knowing myself helps me to know God better. As I understand myself and my own emotions I realize how much I need God to help me navigate them.

Emotions are too scary to face them on our own. I’d like to offer you this guide for recognizing and processing what you are feeling with God.

Too Much "Help"? Try This Tool Instead.

April 11, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

This current world crisis has produced another interesting whirlwind. In the midst of all the sorrow and grief and anxiety, we find thousands of people stuck at home, separated from their normal lives and looking for a way to fill their time and thoughts.

Many people, regardless of their faith journey, are attempting to use their time to help others. Certainly a worthy goal. However, the result is dozens of emails and social media posts offering "help" in the current crisis. Help for doing ministry or dealing with anxiety or staying safe or activities or purchases to help keep me occupied while I am stuck at home.

Normally, I would comb through all these messages to make sure that I don’t miss something that could be truly helpful so that I can pass it on to someone else. Part of my make-up is to be a researcher and a resourcer. The glut of “help” has made my head spin! My internal pull to check everything out, and the underlying awareness that I don’t have the time or the brain power to do so causes a tension. I have decided to limit my inbox and energy to just a few trustworthy sources to reduce overwhelm!

How are you handling all this “help”? What is your go-to source for encouragement and wisdom? May I suggest making the Scripture your first source? I try, not always successfully, to spend time in Scripture before I check email or news or social media. In order to truly receive my help from the Lord, I need to take time to think deeply on His Word, not just take it in.

Staying Anchored To Hope: The Pick One Devotional Method

April 4, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

We are living in a whirlwind right now. We are all being touched personally in some way by this pandemic. We need ways to keep hope alive within us. What habits have you developed to keep you anchored in hope? Not just now, but for the rest of your life?

If you had not developed a regular devotional time before this crisis, now is the time to begin. In a world that is uncertain and insecure, we need an anchor for our souls. A regular time in the Word and in worship will anchor you like nothing else. I want to offer you a way to get started.

Maybe you already have a regular devotion time. That"s great! This method will give you a way to change things up and perhaps even deepen your time with God.

If you have already signed up to receive my blog by email then you received a printable download: 5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Daily Devotions. If not, click here to sign up and I would love to send it to you and to be able to encourage you by email every week. The printable will give you some guidelines on getting started and being consistent. You can apply this method to the time you spend.

Don't Minimize Your Significance

March 21, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

The question I have been asking with all that is going on in our world right now is why you might even want to read what I write. What do I have to offer in this time of unprecedented concern? Before 2020 began I prayed for one word as the theme message to focus on giving you throughout the year. The one word I felt led to choose is “Significance.” This week, as I prayed and considered what I should write, or even IF I should write, I realized that now, more than ever, I can still encourage you in your significance. As I have questioned whether I have something to offer I have realized that I do, and so do you.

“A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

You may feel helpless right now. We all do! However, you are still an important influence in your circle. Don’t minimize your significance. God has given you spiritual gifts, abilities that are uniquely yours. God has given you and I gifts so that we can help each other. Ask Him what you can be doing with your gifts RIGHT NOW. You are needed.

You Make a Difference. Really. You Do.

February 15, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

I was shocked when she said it. A year had passed since we had to step down from the leadership position where she had been part of our team. When it first happened we had considered leaving the church to avoid the pain, but, after prayer and consideration, we stuck it out. It was incredibly painful at first, but over time life became more "normal", whatever that means. Now, here she was saying, "If you had left, we would have left, too." In the time of our overwhelming grief and confusion over what was happening it never occurred to us that someone was watching how we handled it. But she and her husband were and our choices made a difference for them.

You never know who is watching you. If you were aware that you were being watched, how would you behave differently? Are you consciously working on setting a good, godly example for the people around you? Think about it. Who might be watching you? Your spouse, your children, your co-worker, your neighbor, your extended family? Who is watching the way you respond to your current crisis and what kind of example are you setting for them? If you and I believe that God works everything together for good, might He use your most difficult situation, or mine, as a good example for someone else? I know He will because He I have seen Him do it in my life.

God’s Will? Be Joyful, Prayerful and Thankful

February 1, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

It was a life-changing, perspective-shifting moment. I was in college, overwhelmed by an emotional situation that wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go and I was miserable. I was a member of the Geneseo Chamber Singers and we were heading back to town after a trip to Boston. As I sat in the back seat of the bus feeling extremely sorry for myself (a very familiar feeling at that time, by the way) I had a sudden revelation. I would say it was one of the first times that I became aware that the Holy Spirit was revealing something to me. I was immediately conscious that being miserable was my choice, had been my choice and didn’t have to be my choice. It was the beginning of Lent and I made a decision to give up being miserable for Lent. Truly, I did! My life has never been the same because after that Easter, the end of those forty days of Lent, I have never gone back to being miserable.

I’ll be honest that for a while I overdid the positive perspective and ignored anything negative without dealing with it, but over the years I think that I have found my balance. Balance comes as I acknowledge what is and choose to trust God’s goodness in the midst of it.