When I think about who I wanted to be, I can’t not write about Sharon. It didn’t take long after I became a Jesus-follower for me to decide who I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be like Sharon. Sharon was my friend’s mother, my pastor’s wife and my mentor. She didn’t know she was my mentor, but mentors aren’t always people you get together with and ask questions of.   Sometimes they are simply the people you look up to who show you who you want to be. I wanted to be like Sharon. She was a loving, passionate woman of God. She knew the Scriptures and taught them well. She encouraged and inspired other women to live whole-heartedly for God. She was gracious and had a warm smile added to her gentle Southern drawl that made people feel comfortable and welcomed.

I wanted to be like Sharon so I began to model my behavior after her, or at least I thought I did. I could answer every person’s problem with a Scripture, but I didn’t really listen to the person in a way that made them feel loved and cared for the way Sharon did. I began to say all the “right” things and do all the “right” things, but it was hollow. I was young and didn’t realize that being like Sharon was more than just doing what Sharon did. It took a while for me to realize that in order to be the kind of person Sharon was my goal needed to be to have the relationship with Christ that Sharon had. I needed to seek after Him and let Him transform my character.

To be like Sharon on the inside meant to strive for Christlike character. That had been her goal. Was she perfect? Of course not, although I thought she was for a long time. Even when she referred to her faults, I didn’t believe her. To me, her faults didn’t matter. She had a clear goal and that mattered. Her goal was to live a life that honored God in the way she served and in the way she dealt with people. Her goal was to love Jesus and love the people Jesus loved. Her Georgia upbringing had taught her a gracious exterior, but the true warmth and care came from Christ. She had made it her aim to let Jesus love other people through her.

It took some time for me to recognize the difference between the exterior and the interior goals. I realize now that Sharon’s greatest accomplishments weren’t teaching Bible studies or women’s retreats. Her accomplishments came in making so many people feel loved and inspiring so many to follow Christ whole-heartedly. Sharon displayed the same gracious character as she battled non-Hodgkin lymphoma. I can’t really say that she lost that battle. From what I’ve heard, her faith remained firm till the end. On the day of her memorial service the church was overflowing with many of those she had let Jesus love through her. She was well-loved because she had loved well. Isn’t that what really matters?

Dear Friend, when you know who you want to be it can guide your responses to everyday life. Right now, your life is full of demands and to-do lists, but at the end of the day those aren’t the things that really matter, are they? Isn’t what matters most how you respond to the people you interact with? From your family to the convenient store clerk, who you want to be can guide every interaction. Don’t you want to be someone who lets Jesus love other people through you? Sharon helped me see that I do. 

When you know who you want to be there is less push to achieve. I first knew Sharon as the mother of my friend. I didnt know that she taught Bible studies and was sought after as a retreat speaker. I just knew that she seemed to generally care about me and the other young people she interacted with. I didnt really even know that she loved Jesus. When she became my pastor’s wife and mentor I lost track of those qualities for a while. I thought that being like her meant to do the things she did. I do teach on occasion and, I have even spoken at a women’s retreat. But now those things don’t drive me. I don’t need to do those things to feel like I am a success. If I do all of those things and don’t let Jesus love people through me, I would consider myself a failure. If I can come to the end of my days with no “achievements” except people who have felt the love of Jesus through me, then I will have lived a successful life.  

Make character your goal and your choices become more clear. Our lives are full of choices and sometimes it may seem that our choices are limited by someone else’s decision. Right now, your life may not be going in the direction you would like it to. Perhaps someone else’s attitudes and actions are blocking the path you thought you were supposed to take. God designed us as interconnected beings. Because of that design, the decisions of a loved one may hurt and they may block what you thought was the way to go. But those limits aren’t really limiting. You may not be able to go in the direction you envisioned, but you can achieve the goal that really matters, You can be more like Jesus. You can let Him love people through you. When that is your goal, it doesn’t matter what opportunities do or don’t open up for you. You know what really matters and you can succeed at that.

Dear friend, do you know who you want to be? If you have that in mind, then you have a guide to help you handle every situation. Be someone who lets Jesus love others through you.

 Key thought: Know who you want to be.

A Scripture to consider: “Use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.” Galatians‬ ‭5:13-15‬ ‭MSG‬‬

A YES challenge: Is there a person who inspires you? Take some time to consider what it is about them that attracts you. What are the qualities you most admire? Write a short description of the kind of person you would like to be and ask Jesus to help you begin to become that person.

Prayer: Lord, sometimes I have lost track of the most important goal while I have tried to do so many things. Sometimes I have been distracted by the cares of life and I’ve forgotten that my most important goal is to be like Jesus. Help me to let Jesus love other people through me. Help me to love the people Jesus loves. I want to come to the end of my life knowing that I made it my goal to do what matters most, to be a person that honors God by loving the way Jesus loves. Amen.