When I was a young mom I often came to the end of my day wondering what I had accomplished. I was busy every moment, but seemed to have nothing to show for it! That is when I started using a planner. I wrote down all the things that I needed to do that day and checked them off as I completed them. At least at the end of the day I could see that I really did finish something! The problem is that I never finished all of it. Even now, in spite of knowing that I am loved by God regardless of what I do, my tasks don’t go away. I still come to the end of the day without fully discharging my to-do list. It can be difficult not to feel like I’ve failed. Maybe you feel that way, too. So, then what do we do about it? How do we tame our too-long to-do list?
Here’s the truth that must be confronted first: You really cant’t do it all regardless of what any ad campaign tells you. You are not invincible. You are not a robot. You have limits and you can’t do it all. You have limited energy, limited capacity to act, limited abilities. Someone else will always be able to do more and do it better, but that doesn’t mean you are less. It just means you are you.
I heard a great illustration to help determine our own capacity: What kind of plate are you? Are you a turkey platter, with the capacity to fit a lot on your plate? Or are you a dinner plate, still a lot of room, but not as much? Maybe you are a dessert plate. Not much room, but space for something sweet. In order to determine what to expect of yourself you need to understand your own capacity. Your capacity helps you determine what should stay on your plate and what can wait.
I am not a turkey platter, but I’m not a dessert plate either. I have learned to recognize and accept that I can’t do as much as some other people and have stopped pushing myself to fit more on my plate. As I have begun to recognize and work within my limits I find myself less exhausted, more productive and more satisfied in what I am able to accomplish. What kind of plate are you?
So, here are some tips for taming your too-full task list so that you can work within your capacity:
First, pray. It’s a simple thing we often forget. As you begin your day, think about all you have to do, look at your calendar and your task list and commit your day to God. Ask Him to help you accomplish what is most important to Him. Ask for grace for the difficult appointments on your calendar. Ask for wisdom in tackling that tricky project. Ask for stamina to keep going when you feel exhausted but have to keep going and wisdom to know when to stop. It doesn’t have to be long, but taking a few minutes to invite God into your day is a way to acknowledge your limits. Apart from Him you can do nothing. (John 15: 5)
Second, pick three. This technique I learned from Michael Hyatt (click his name to go to his website) has been a great help to me. By looking at my list and choosing my top three tasks I recognize my limits and determine what I most need to accomplish that day. If I finish those three things then I have a sense of success. I may be able to get some other things done as well, but that is the icing on the cake. The truth is there will always be more to do and we will never be done. By determining the three things I must accomplish for the day I set myself up for success rather than failure.
Just a thought on there always being more: When I was a young mom I faced that fact. There would always be more laundry or cleaning. It just would never be done.. If I tried to maintain an empty laundry basket or a perfectly clean home I would never have time to spend with my husband and kids. So, I determined that after the dinner dishes were done I was done for the night. Reading to my kids before bed was more important. Sitting with my husband to watch a movie was more important. I hadn’t learned to pick three, but I had learned that work could always steer me away from the most important things so I set a boundary. Do you need to set some boundaries?
Third, put it in HIs hands. Something in us feels like we have to do it all and do it all alone. Most of us hesitate to ask for help from anyone. Perhaps it’s an American individualism thing, or maybe we struggle with feeling like we are worth someone’s time. I remember as a college student feeling overwhelmed with life and saying to myself, “I should be able to handle my own problems.” But I couldn’t and that is the very thing that caused me to turn my life over to God. You probably expect more of yourself than God does. Perhaps others also expect more of you than God does. As you pray and pick three put it in His hands and trust that what you accomplish is what you get done is what needed to eat done.
We all work full-time for God no matter whether we are stay-at-home parents or company CEO’s, but being a pastor means I am more aware that I am working full-time for God. It’s still easy to approach my work in my own strength. One of my prayers has become, “Lord, help me do this with You, not just for You.” I have to trust Him to help me accomplish even those three things. I really can’t do it without Him, and neither can you.
Does your task list dictate your day? Does it manage you or do you manage it? You are a loved and cherished child of God regardless of what you do. How amazing to remember you are HIs, He loves you and He is pleased with you! So, when you look at your to-do list remember you are loved. Then pray, pick three and put it in His hands. You won’t get it all done, but what you do accomplish will be enough.
Key thought: You can’t do it all, but with God you can do what matters most.
A Scripture to consider: “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 NLT
A YES challenge: Take some time to process how big your ‘plate” is. What is your capacity? What are your limits? Ask God to help you honor Him by recognizing and working within the limits He has created you with.
Prayer: Father, I have tried to cram too much into every day and I am exhausted. I often feel like a failure because I just can’t get it all done well. Help me to recognize and honor my limits. Help me learn to invite you into my day and allow you to help me do what matters to You. Father, without You I can’t do it. I need you every moment. Amen.