"Let love be your highest goal!" 1 Corinthians 14:1 NLT
How many friends do you have who are so close that you decide to create a new family name from your two last names? What's that you say? You've never heard of such a thing? Never even thought of it? Let me introduce you to the "Zillardnik" family.
The Millards and Zahradniks attended the same church, but were no more than acquaintances until 1995. One ministry of the church we attended was to host baby and wedding showers for congregants. After the birth of our youngest child a shower was held for us which included both men and women. We found out later that Tim and Ginny Millard had felt called to plan that shower for us.
That summer, after serving together at VBS, Tim and Tom made a date to go to the movie Apollo 13. The guys thought it would be a good idea for Ginny to hang out with me, and our three kids, while they went to the movie. I didn't really know Ginny, so I was a little nervous. What would we talk about for three hours? Those hours flew by. And so began a friendship that has been one of the greatest gifts of our lives.
Over twenty-five years we have spent thousands of hours together. I have a mental slideshow of us around countless tables sharing meals together. At our home - three different ones in twenty-five years - or theirs - two different homes. At restaurants and church events. At weddings and funerals. For several years in a row we went on vacations together, so there we are at our rental home tables in Cape Cod, in Maine, in Delaware. Thanks to the grocery store's free turkey promotion, every year that we could we shared a holiday dinner between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Of course, our kids grew up around those tables with the Millards. It was on one of our vacations that we became the Zillardniks. (Spelling will vary. We never discussed spelling!) None of us really remember whose idea it was, but I think it was Tim's. Those thousands of hours spent together fill a treasure box of memories. Each one is precious.
This week our dear Tim ended his battle with cancer. I won't say that he lost the battle. Like the apostle Paul, Tim fought the good fight, he finished his race, he kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7) But there is an empty place at our family table. It's hard to imagine a world without Tim in it.
Tim exemplified a life of unconditional love. I am not saying that he lived that perfectly every moment. A life like that takes learning and struggle. But Tim was committed to living the love of Jesus to the people in his life. He made love his highest goal.
Loving Jesus always came first. Tim never forgot who he was before Jesus transformed his life. In our conversations together, I was surprised to hear about a callous, sarcastic Tim, who didn't value Ginny or their marriage. The Ginny and Tim we know were inseparable. Committed to each other and committed to serving Christ together. Tim wanted other people to know the transforming love of Jesus that he had experienced.
Loving others flowed out of love for Jesus. Tim built his schedule around relationships. In the early days of our friendship, the Millards would make the trek from Hyde Park to Beacon, about an hour, at least once a month to be with us, or to be with our kids so that we could go out. But we weren't the only people that they were committed to spending time with. Tim and Ginny have poured their lives into hundreds of people over the years. Their love for Jesus overflowed into loving many, many people.
Loving the community was also part of loving Jesus. It was so important to Tim to reach out to his community. He understood, like few others do, that loving the community is an essential part of fulfilling our mission for Jesus. Tim eventually became a pastor and planted Bridgebuilders Community Church in his beloved community of Hyde Park, where he and Ginny had raised their family and where Tim had spent his career as a teacher. Tim knew and loved the community well and wanted them to know the love of Jesus. He found ways to be involved in the community as a pastor. He joined the Chamber of Commerce and a local interdenominational pastor's group. He was often around people who totally disagreed with him, but he saw those relationships as an opportunity to demonstrate the love of Jesus and possibly earn a hearing for the Gospel.
There is so much that I could say about my brother Tim. He set an example for me, and for others, of struggling forward through difficulty, learning to forgive those who hurt him, accepting the limits of declining health, and so much more. But, most of all, he set an example of making love for others his highest goal because of his love for Jesus. That’s an example I want to follow.
Tim, save a place for us at the banquet table in heaven. See you soon!