What’s the biggest transition you have ever gone through? Have you ever traced the threads that lead to the beginning of that shift? If you follow the chain backwards there is no doubt that you will find every change starts with a decision. But along the path there are other decisions that need to be made and those choices shape your experience.
Pat Zahradnik was one of the friendliest people you would ever want to meet. When she went into the bank, she was on a first-name basis with the tellers. She had a quick smile, a friendly wave and a warm greeting for the people in her circle of acquaintance. When it came time to move her out of her apartment in Fishkill, NY the ladies in the office cried to say good-bye because they loved her so much. She was more than just a tenant to them. She had become a friend. I can understand that. She was my mother-in-law and I miss her every day.
Moving Mom out of her apartment was a really big job. The transition began with the decision that taking care of her small apartment and finances had become too much for her. So, we had moved her into an independent living home with what she needed and then we tackled everything else that was left in the apartment. Tom’s siblings lived out of town and out of state and, although they were all supportive of the decision, they were unable to help, which left the two of us with a bigger job than we were up for.
One day I was sending an email to our church small group and as I was about to add a request that they pray for us as we faced this overwhelming task, I realized that I needed to do more than just ask for prayer. We needed help! It was a risk to put it out there. What if no one responded? But it was very clear that this task was more than we could accomplish on our own. I sent the email and before too long heard from most of our group. They were willing and able to help us pack up the rest of Mom’s stuff. We were so grateful! We were able to bless some of them with items that no family member had claimed. One of our ladies was even able to help us find a place to donate the other items. We had more job than time but thanks to our friends we were able to meet the move-out deadline with time to spare. What began as an overwhelming prospect has become one of my favorite memories. Our small group came through in a big way!
I learned a few things about transitions from that experience. Moving is a huge transition. Whether you are moving yourself or moving someone else. It takes energy, physical and mental, to make it happen, but it doesn’t start with that. it starts with the decision. Is there something you need to change in your life? A transition you need to make? What will it take to make that happen? Here are a few things I learned from moving Mom.
It starts with a decision. An evaluation of Mom’s needs had made it clear that she could not remain where she was. A move was necessary. Once that decision was made a plan was formulated. As you evaluate your current situation you may be aware of a need for change. Realize that recognition is not enough to make it happen. In order to begin making necessary plans and adjustments you will need to make a decision that it is time for change to happen.
Recognize the job is too big for you. We knew what needed to be done and started trying to do it ourselves. We were overwhelmed and stressed as we tried to carry out the task. We were so caught up in trying to tackle what needed to be accomplished that we didn’t step back and look at the situation realistically. The reality was that the amount of work needed in order to reach the deadline was too much for us to do alone. When that reality dawned on us we were able to begin adjusting our decisions.
Friend, whatever transition you are attempting to make on your own is too big for you. Really, it is! If you will stop and admit that to yourself right now you will begin to see more clearly what needs to happen in order to make it through. You need help and the sooner you admit that, the sooner you will be on the track to success.
Ask for God’s help. Prayer is part of the way Tom and I respond to things. We pray together daily to commit the day to God and we end the day with prayer. We had prayed and asked God for help. It was just part of our normal activity. I realize now that it was the asking that brought the assistance. We could have just kept working on it ourselves. Overwhelmed and exhausted, the job would have gotten done, but it would have cost us more than we realistically should have given. Asking for help brought help. God doesn’t help those who help themselves. He helps those who ask for help.
Ask for others’ help. It had never occurred to me to ask for help. I imagine you have been in the same boat many times. You look at an overwhelming situation and you say to yourself, “How am I ever going to get this done?!” We often have this false sense that we need to make it happen on our own, but it just isn’t true. We were made to live in community. We were designed to help each other. We were designed to need each other. It wasn’t until we reached out to our small group and asked for help that help came. Too often you and I neglect to ask others for help. We don’t like to admit that we need it. Reaching out for help is what caused our transition to happen more smoothly. Don’t hesitate. Ask for help. It is worth the humility and worth the risk.
Receive help when it is offered. It would have been foolish to turn away any of the people who offered to help us. We needed every one of them! But there is something in us that makes us feel uncomfortable about receiving help, even when we ask for it. I often feel like I should be able to do it myself. Even if I have assessed the job as too big and asked for help, I still feel like wrong about accepting it. I suspect you feel that way at times as well. Recognize that for what it is, pride. Then kick pride out of the way and let others help you. That is the best next step on your journey of change.
Dear Friend, you are probably facing a transition right now. It may be a small one, like changing a habit. Or a shift in schedule. It may be a large transition like moving, a new baby or a new job, even losing weight. if you are facing a transition, even a small one, don’t get stuck letting it overwhelm you. Take a step back. Shift your perspective and recognize your need for help. God is ready to help you and I’ll bet you have some people ready to come alongside you as well. What starts with one decision can become a treasured journey with God and with friends. Ready to begin?
Key thought: Every change starts with a decision.
A Scripture to Consider: “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT
A YES challenge: What transition are you facing right now? Take some time to step back and ask for God’s help. Are there some people you can ask to walk through it with you? Don’t hesitate to reach out to them.
Prayer: Lord, I see the change I need to make. I have seen it for a while, but I haven’t really done anything about it. Today I make the decision that it is time to move toward that change. I need Your help. Show me my next step and show me someone I can ask to help me make it happen. Amen.