My mother says that she could hear me practicing words in my crib before I ever said them. Can you imagine?! Even as a toddler I had a desire to do my best. There has always been something in me that desired excellence. That sounds admirable at first, but there is a catch. I have never handled my own mistakes very well. I have often been overwhelmed and mired in perfectionism. Anything less than perfect has seemed like failure. Does that describe you? Are you somewhere between longing for excellence and falling short of perfection feeling like a failure? Maybe you have even given up trying to strive for excellence because you can’t be perfect. I get it! I always want to be better than I am. I want to be the best version of myself. Better inside. Better outside. But, I often feel unable to attain that. I know that I fall far short of being the best me.
it can be hard to accept our own inability to do our best at any given time. When I was in high school, I was a drama kid. The school theater was my home away from home. I spent half my time in high school in rehearsals for one play or another. But I remember a particular rehearsal for the musical Guys and Dolls when I wasn’t feeling well and was unable to give a song my “best”. I mean the best that I could give at that moment was less than performance level. My voice was hoarse and I really couldn’t sing because of a cold. This was unacceptable to me and I fell to pieces right there on the rehearsal stage. My real trouble: I couldn’t do it perfectly. My pride required perfection and I could not accept my own human weakness at that moment. The “best” I was able to give wasn’t good enough. I could not discern the difference between a desire for excellence and the need for perfection. Good enough was simply never good enough.
So, how did I begin to break free of perfectionism and start learning what was really my “best”?
1. Recognize that perfection is not a reasonable goal. When I realized and accepted that Jesus was the only perfect person who ever walked the earth it did two things for me. It released me from perfection as a goal. I knew that I couldn’t achieve it and I knew that I didn’t have to achieve it. He had done what I could not do for myself. Second, it made me want to be my best for Him. Not so that I could prove my own worth, or earn God’s favor, although I have still struggled with that at times, but because I want to gratefullly honor Him.
2. Pursue excellence with an eternal motivation. Being my best is a worthy goal, but doing it just to please someone else or myself is not a strong enough motivation. The strongest and highest motivation to pursue excellence is to honor God. When I remember that I work for God, whether at my job or in my home, I have an eternal motivation. Then I pursue being my best for God’s sake. Then I pursue excellence because it glorifies Him. What is my best? To be the person God designed me to be. To live with Christ-like character. To fulfill my God-given potential by using the gifts, talents and resources God has given me to the best of my ability.
3. Realize that you will never arrive. You are in a continual state of transformation. When I pursue excellence I am always pursuing change because there is always better. I am often dissatisfied when I look at myself because I know I could be better. A better wife, a better mother, a better friend. A better woman. I could look better. I could feel better and be healthier. My character is always in need of perfecting. Being my best for God means that my highest goal is Christlike character. God’s desire is that I look like Jesus. (Romans 8:29) There are plenty of times I fall way short of that, but I know that God is at work in me to want to be better and is giving me the ability to do what pleases Him. (Philippians 2:10)
Do you desire perfection or do you want to be your best? Who are you trying to please? Be at peace. Perfection is not a reasonable goal. Stop trying! But being your best for God, that is a reasonable goal and one that He will help you to achieve in a constant state of transformation. You will always be fine tuning. You will never arrive. He will always be shaping your character and helping you to look more like Jesus, changing you from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18).
And that, dear friend, is what The YES Adventure is all about. Will you join me?
Key Thought: Pursue excellence with an eternal motivation.
A Scripture to consider: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,” Colossians 3:23 NIV
A YES challenge: Ask God to show you your own motivation. Do you desire excellence or perfection? Do you stop trying to go further because you can’t be perfect? As you and God discuss this issue, ask Him to help you pursue excellence with an eternal motivation. Ask Him to help you be your best for Him.
Prayer: Lord, You know how far short I fall of being the best me, the person You designed me to be. Help me to find the balance between pursuing excellence and nagging perfectionism. Help me to allow You to continually do Your work in me so that I look more like Jesus. Amen.