I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time. I wish I could make it all go away. I really do. I wish I had the resources to just clear everything up and make it all easier for you. But I don't. Even if I did, it might not really be the best thing for you. There are always things that God is working on in us in the middle of the hardest times. It's been that way for me. Yet, in the middle of it, when things are hardest and you wonder how you are going to make it through, sometimes all you want is a little relief.

So, since I can't fix it for you, let me offer you some perspective. Through my hard times, and believe me, I have had a few, I have found an anchor to hold on to. It doesn't change the situation, but it can change you in the situation. Honestly, I have found that to be more valuable than an easy fix to a tough time. As I have changed, I have found the inner strength to make it through. My hope is that it will help you as well. Getting through with grace starts with thankfulness.

"Be cheerful no matter what." I learned this in college. I was a newly committed believer and I had been going through a really hard time emotionally. It was more about the emotion than the situation. I just didn't seem to have the ability to handle what I was feeling. That's what led me to Christ in the first place.

I was on a trip with my college choir and for a good part of the journey home I was sitting in the back seat of the bus alone, crying, feeling sorry for myself. I was miserable. But since I had opened myself to Jesus, I was aware of Him in the back of the bus with me. As I poured out my self-pity, I felt Him gently showing me that I was miserable because I had chosen to be miserable and it didn't have to be that way. I could choose to be cheerful. Being miserable had become a habit and I needed to break it.

It was late February and the Lenten season had just begun .so I decided to give up something for Lent the way that I had learned through my growing up. But this year, I decided to do something different. I gave up being miserable for Lent.

When a person gives up something for Lent, the purpose is to help them focus on God. Giving up being miserable meant that I had to choose to be cheerful, to look at the positive rather than the negative. Even in those early days of walking with Jesus, I knew I couldn't do it on my own. It was something I had to do with Go,d and through the next six weeks He helped me to break the habit of being miserable. Although, my perspective slips at times, the habit is gone and I am grateful. I am not the same person I was because He has shown me how to choose to be cheerful, even at the most difficult moments of my life.

"Pray all the time." I have referred to Brother Lawrence's little book, The Practice of the Presence of God, before. When I was a new believer the church I attended set aside a small room as a library, and, being a reader since childhood, I visited it frequently. Reading is one of the primary ways that I learn. It was in this little room of books that I discovered the thin volume that has set the tone for my perspective on prayer. In letters that have become this little book, Brother Lawrence describes a life of constant communion with God by transforming every task as an offering of love to Him. He shares how throughout his day he would attempt to keep his thoughts constantly on God so that his time working in the kitchen at the monastery was no different from his time of prayer in his cell. He encouraged his reader to simply return to his conversation with God if he got distracted by life. The goal was an unbroken relationship with Jesus.

I have yet to even come close to achieving such an ideal, but Brother Lawrence helped me to understand the idea of praying all the time. What I am going through, no matter how difficult and emotionally taxing it may be, doesn't have to break my relationship with God. I am still learning how to process all the emotion with God instead of trying to figure it out on my own and then pray.

This kind of processing prayer is messy. The psalms have taught me that I can say anything to God and it's okay. I don't have to clean it up first. I don't have to feel okay before I can pray. God wants me to let Him into my messy self so that He can offer me His perspective, just like He did in my back-of-the-bus pity party. To me, that's what it means to pray all the time. Letting God into my mess, my hurts and anger, my pride and fears, has helped me work through them and get to the other side, His side. I so need that every day! I imagine that you do, too.

"Thank God no matter what happens." Realize that this does NOT mean to thank God FOR everything that happens. There are terrible and difficult and ungodly circumstances that come into all or our lives. It would be wrong to thank God for someone's ungodly, hurtful, horrible action. Yet, even in the middle of the worst news headline, there are things that we can find to thank God for. Heroic rescues, helpful comforters, even more horrible things that didn't happen. If we can do that with the most horrific of circumstances that don't directly affect us, then we can do it in our own lives. No matter how bad your situation is, no matter how hurtful the words are, how difficult the circumstance, how ungodly the person's actions, there are things that you can thank God for. It may take some effort to see specifics, but you can start with this: He is with you in the middle of it. Whether you can feel Him or not doesn't change the fact. He is there. One of the verses I have learned to hold on to during the most difficult times: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭ESV)‬‬ I have come to understand that I can thank Him for His presence and that He will help me no matter what happens. I know that He will help you through your right now. There is no question about it.

"This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ to live." The Scriptures describe a believer's life as full of joy and peace. I imagine that you may not be feeling that in your current situation. But here is the amazing thing about living with Jesus: Your joy and peace are dependent on your relationship with Him and not your circumstances. In what we call the fourth chapter of the apostle Paul's letter to his friends in Philippi he thanks them for a gift they sent to him, but tells them that he has learned to be content in every circumstance, in times of need as well as times of plenty. He tells them, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. It was Paul's relationship with Christ that enabled him to have joy and peace in the midst of every circumstance, just as it is for me and for you.

I submit to you that Paul's ability to be thankful was key to his remaining connected to God. In the paragraph before he makes his famous statement, he warmly thanks his Philippian friends for a generous gift that he says he could do without because he has learned to be content. Could it be that his thankfulness to God overflows in thankfulness to his friends? Or maybe, his ability to be thankful to people enables him to have a perspective of thankfulness to God? Either way, living a life of thankfulness affects all of our relationships, but most especially our relationship with God.

Dear One, I know that what you are going through right now can seem overwhelming at times. I want to encourage you to choose cheerfulness, pray always and be thankful because this is the way God wants you to live. Why does God want you to live that way? Because it keeps you connected to Him, and isn't that what you really want?

Key thought: Getting through with grace starts with thankfulness.

A Scripture to consider: “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” ‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:16-18‬ ‭MSG‬‬

A YES challenge: Do you need to break the habit of being miserable? What if you gave up being miserable as an offering to God between now and the end of the year? On New Year's Eve take a look back with God and see how your perspective has changed.

Prayer: Lord, what I really want most is to stay connected to You. My situation and relationships distract me, but I will choose to be cheerful and remind myself that You are with me. Thank You for the promise of Your presence as I go through life. Thank You for Your promise to help me and strengthen me. Thank You that I can do everything because You strengthen me. Amen.