Where is God When I am in Pain?

August 3, 2024 Cathleen Zahradnik

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalms 46:1 NIV

I’ve been on a journey these past few months! I had my final check-in with the orthopedist this week. The bones are healed, and it is “safe” for me to return to all normal activities, although it will take a bit more time to regain strength and flexibility as my wrists continue to heal. I’ve been sharing with you what I’ve been learning through this. But there is something I’ve learned that I hesitate to share.

No one seeks out pain. However, pain is part of the human experience. Physical pain has been my most recent experience, but I’ve been through other types of pain in my six decades. So have you. Each of us experiences different kinds of pain: emotional, relational, mental, financial.

When we are in pain we have one goal: End it! We want to end the pain. But in most cases, we have no control. I could not end the pain of two broken wrists and all the side effects. I had to walk through it just as you must walk through your pain. Where is God when you and I are in pain?

Your Trial Summed Up in a Sentence.

July 27, 2024 Cathleen Zahradnik

“Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” Hebrews 10:36 NLT

Dear Friend, are you facing a trial? Let’s be honest, if you are not facing a trial now you will be soon. That is the nature of human life. But somehow, trials seem to catch us off guard, don’t they? Why don’t we expect and prepare for them? Perhaps we don’t expect them because once they are over, they can be summed up in a sentence and filed away.

Consider this scripture:

“After two years went by in this way, Felix was succeeded by Porcius Festus. And because Felix wanted to gain favor with the Jewish people, he left Paul in prison.” Acts of the Apostles 24:27 NLT

I’ve read that passage before, but this time “two years” caught my attention. Two years summed up in a sentence. What were those years like for Paul? No true freedom, but his needs were taken care of by his friends. At least the ones willing to acknowledge him and visit.

How did he feel knowing that the only reason he was kept in prison was to please the Jews who still wanted him dead? What did he pray for as he slept on the cold floor of the dark prison amongst who-knows-what kind of vermin and insects? How many times did he share the Gospel and with whom?

After two years Paul was not released but sent to Rome by his appeal for Caesar to decide his case. The trial didn’t end, it just took a different shape. Paul was a pro at expecting and walking through trials. He understood that when he finally saw Jesus face-to-face, they would be summed up in a sentence and forgotten.

I don’t know if I have gotten any better at expecting trials, but I have gotten better at going through them. Here’s how.

What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

November 18, 2023 Cathleen Zahradnik

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV

Do you have a favorite story? I am a sucker for romantic stories that involve some self-discovery and growth. Okay, I am a fan of Jane Austen novels and confession: I have, not only a complete set of those novels, but a complete DVD set of those novels made into movies. Persuasion is my favorite because the main characters learn the truth about who they really are and what they really want and realize that what was lost can be regained. Regret becomes redemption. What is better than that?!

What stories grab your attention? Bigger question: What story are you telling yourself?

When I am driving long distances, I like to listen to books. Specifically, I like to listen to fiction books or radio dramas. On a recent trip I listened to Kate Beckinsale reading Jane Austen’s Emma. (Told you!) As my physical self responds to the necessary stimuli for driving, my inner self follows the story of what I am listening to. The narrative fills my mind and makes the time go faster. I am more involved with the story than how long the trip is taking. The story moves forward, and I move with it, so the traveling doesn’t seem quite so long, and the trip becomes more enjoyable to me.

The stories I tell myself don’t always involve forward motion. Sometimes the stories I tell myself are filled with fear that holds me back.

“If this happens everything will be ruined.”

“If I do this that person will reject me.”

“That person is going to criticize my work and I am going to feel terrible.”

“We don’t have enough money to pay our bills and we are going to be in trouble.”

“I don’t have what it takes to do this task.”

“I caused this problem. It’s always my fault.”

Maybe the story I tell is rooted in some aspect of reality, but often my imagination takes over and leads me to fear, failure and fault. What about you? What stories are you telling yourself? Where do those stories lead you? Not where you want to go, right?

If we want to be and do all that God has for us, then we need to tell ourselves stories that lead in that direction. I know that I don’t always do that. Do you?

Here are some things I try to keep in mind to help me tell myself the right story.

Tell yourself what is real. Reality isn’t all positive or all negative. Reality is usually somewhere in between. Just be honest! Don’t try to put a positive spin on something that really stinks. You don’t have to skip to the silver lining. It probably is there, but just deal with the negative emotions that are associated with a tough situation first.

On the other hand, don’t focus on everything that could go wrong. Most of the scenarios you imagine probably won’t happen anyway. You may think that you are preparing yourself and protecting yourself from future trouble or disappointment, but most likely you are spending a lot of energy telling yourself a story that isn’t helping you process the problem properly. The future you are envisioning is not real. Deal with the real first. The real situation and the real feelings. The plan is appropriate after a time of recognizing the real.

Tell yourself what success looks like. Every situation, positive or negative, can have some sort of successful outcome. Tell yourself the story of a best-case scenario and then determine what you can do to move the details in that direction. You don’t have control over everything, so success for you is only going to be about you and your response.It’s not about trying to control the outcome. It is about setting yourself up to succeed no matter what the outcome is.

When we listen to podcasts or watch videos or read articles about success the presenters focus on successful outcomes. While there are things you and I can do to lead toward successful outcomes more often than not we are limited in what we can control. The most successful outcome for me is one in which I remain focused on the long-term and eternal rather than the temporal and temporary. (2 Corinthians.4:18) My goal is to keep my trust in God and not the circumstances and my own comfort. At the end of the day, that is what matters most. Everything else is gravy. It isn’t easy to keep that kind of perspective. That’s why achieving it is such a win for me. What about you? What does success look like for you? Tell yourself that story.

Tell yourself what is true. It may sound like real and true are the same, but not quite. The reality of a situation may not always reflect what is true about God, yourself or other people. Just because you are struggling financially does not mean God is not your provider. What does His Word say about that? Just because a project failed does not mean that you are a failure. Just because a person rejected you does not mean that you are unloveable. Do you see where I am going with this? At the end of the day what matters most is what is true about God and what is true about you because of what He says. Keep your Bible handy and tell yourself what it says. That is what is true!

Dear Friend, don’t get caught in the trap of telling yourself stories that hurt and hinder you. I don’t want you to get stuck! Keep moving forward by telling yourself what is real, by picturing what real success looks like, and by focusing on what is true. The story you tell yourself makes a big difference in how you navigate your challenges. Jane Austen’s characters always learn something along the way and often it has to do with telling themselves a better story. What story do you need to tell yourself to help you move forward? Tell that one!

Key Question: How is the story you are telling yourself affecting your attitudes and actions?

A Scripture to Consider: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV

A YES Challenge: Take one day to be intentionally aware of the story you are telling yourself. Make notes on paper or digitally if you find that helpful. Set a time at the close of your day to evaluate what you have learned. What one area will you work on to change the story you tell yourself?

Prayer: Father, I never really thought about the story I tell myself. I have not recognized the thoughts that are holding me back and keeping me from fulfilling all that You have for me. Help me to make changes that will lead to Your will for my life and, most importantly, help me grow closer to You. Help me to see You as You are so that I can tell myself the truth about You and Your work in my life. Amen.

How to Be Strong When You Struggle With Strength

November 4, 2023 Cathleen Zahradnik

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10 NIV

Do you struggle with strength? If God says, “Be strong”, where does He expect me to find that strength? Does He expect me to generate strength on my own? Of course not! But where does your strength come from?

There is so much wrapped up in God’s command to be strong. You and I tend to try to obey the command to be strong by looking within — to our own resources. But what if we approached it differently? What if we approached it by looking out and looking up?

As I have worked on making this my practice, I have found some things to be true that I hope will encourage you.

The strength doesn’t come from you. I think this is the hardest thing for humans to accept and walk in. Let’s be honest. We all like to think that we are strong enough to handle things on our own. That’s why we can be so down on ourselves when we feel like we aren’t. The need to find that strength within is the very situation that caused me to turn to God at the very beginning of my walk with Him.

I had been trying to handle overwhelming emotions on my own. I had been attempting to solve all my own problems because I thought I was supposed to. But I couldn’t. To the point that I fleetingly considered throwing myself in front of a speeding car! That fleeting thought was my wake-up call.

You Are What You Think

August 26, 2023 Cathleen Zahradnik

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23 NLT.

Even into my adult years, I saw myself as a scared little girl. I was terrified of making mistakes. I had a deep fear of failure. My mom told me I would practice saying words in my crib before I ever used them publicly. The desire for excellence was in me from infancy!

But a desire for excellence easily and quickly became a fear of failure and a drive for perfection. Is perfection even possible for humans? Of course not! What does that mean? Failure was part of every effort to achieve perfection instead of excellence. How does one avoid failure and making mistakes? By choosing not to choose. Be deciding not to try. And that is what I often did.

I became a hesitant and shy child. Although my heart longed to soar, I kept my feet on the ground and my wings safely tucked in. No flying, no failure. Or so I thought.

Those thoughts limited my ability to achieve the excellence I so desired. They kept me from becoming the person I wanted to become. They tied me down and made me a prisoner to my fears. That isn’t what I wanted for myself. And it isn’t what I want for you either.

So, where do we start to overcome the thoughts that hold us down? We start by accepting that you are what you think and to become who you want to be you must change the way you think. So, here’s why.

What you think determines your attitude. Do certain things irritate you, but you aren’t sure where the irritation originates? “Why does this bug me so much?” That is the question to ask yourself. Being willing to ask that question will help to reveal your underlying attitudes. Answering that question will help you unlock what you think about the situation and the people involved.

Grateful IN Everything

November 12, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:18

You want to be someone who says YES to God. It's the motivating factor of your life, isn't it? Yet, there may be an aspect of saying YES to God that you hadn't quite contemplated yet.

Don't stop reading now! I promise you, this will be worth it! Part of being a person who says YES is to cultivate grateful. I know! That's tough, right? It's easy to look at our circumstances sometimes and excuse ourselves from gratefulness. I mean, look at how tough everything is! Maybe it's your finances or your relationships. Maybe it's your own health or the health of someone you love. Maybe your job is wearing you out. Maybe you feel like you have been giving your all for God and getting nothing back. "If God is supposed to work out all things for good in my life (Romans 8:28), then why do so many things seem to be bad?" you may be saying.

I don't want to minimize anything that you are going through. It's tough, and that's the truth. However, I want to park on a verse from the Bible that may help you get some perspective on what you are going through and help you get to a new level of YES. Are your ready? Are you willing?

Are You A Forgiven Forgiver?

July 16, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. Colossians 3:13

There are those moments that become engraved in memory. Often, they are the most beautiful moments. The proposal. The graduation. The birth. But sometimes, they are the most painful moments: The breakup. The failure. The loss. This was one of those kinds of moments.

It isn’t necessary, or wise, for me to share the details with you. It was a moment of great loss, loss of position, loss of hope, loss of future. The loss was a decision, someone else’s decision, and the result of things out of my control. I understood the outcome but had hoped that there might be a different way to resolve the issues. Yet here it was. Loss. Pain. An uncertain future.

Thankfully, within a few months, hope was reborn and a new future began to take shape. I didn’t feel anger or resentment toward the one who made the decision, yet whenever I heard a message on forgiveness, that moment of loss was the one that always came to mind, even years later. I found that difficult to understand. I once heard a message that forgiveness is like peeling an onion and we sometimes have layers of hurt to forgive. That makes sense, but this wasn’t one of those situations. So, why did it continue to come to mind?

What To Do in the Dark

May 28, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

'I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God’s mysterious plan, which is Christ himself. In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. ' Colossians 2:2-3

It was a dark time, one of the darkest times I have ever lived through. A loved one was struggling through the shadows of depression and every day was a battle. Just getting out of bed and facing the mundane tasks of daily life took every ounce of my strength. The future was a wall of fog. The present was a slog through mud with a backpack full of rocks. It was all I could do to just get through today.

Maybe that is where you are right now, Dear Friend. I am so sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult time. One thing I heard from a conference speaker that helped me through my darkness and gave me perspective was this: Every trial will come to an end. As those words rang in the arena and resounded in my ears my heart knew that they were true. In the course of a time that seemed to last forever, I eventually experienced that truth in my circumstance. You will experience it in yours. You will.

But while you are in it, can I offer you some perspective? Something I learned from walking through my own fog? Jesus really is enough. He is!

How To Manage Moments of Darkness

February 19, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. Colossians 1:13-14 NLT

I hate the dark. When I was a kid dark meant that my imagination saw all kinds of unwanted visitors crouching in the corners of my room. The TV shows that I shouldn’t have been watching replayed in my mind and started my heart racing. Could what I saw on the screen happen to me? It was hard to rest my brain and go to sleep.

I settled on a system that settled my soul in those moments. When I made my first communion as a second grader my grandmother had given me some rosary beads. I didn’t really know what to do with them, but these rosary beads hung off the corner of my headboard and — the best part — they glowed in the dark! When I felt scared those glowing beads added light and comfort and, sometimes, I would just hold onto the cross that dangled at the end of the chain. The glowing beads didn’t give enough light to see by, but they gave me something to look at in the dark instead of letting my imagination create crouching creepy crawlies. Holding onto the cross made me feel like I wasn’t alone.

I still don’t like the dark, but there is a deeper darkness that you and I struggle to manage every day. Each one of us experiences more than physical darkness. Darkness seems to be crouching in a corner every day, just ready to pounce with every phone call, text message or email. Add world news into the mix and it might seem like darkness is ready to overtake every bit of light in the world.

Where is your darkness right now? Things may be going well. You may not feel depressed or upset. But still, you sense darkness lurking somewhere in the depths of your soul. An unresolved relationship. An unfulfilled dream. A memory of mistreatment. Darkness shows up in a myriad of forms. It’s part of living in a broken world.

How do you deal with your darkness? What do you look to when darkness takes over? What do you hold onto for comfort?

Are You Aware of Anxiety Indicators?

July 4, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

This is an anxious time. Whether you and I are aware of it or not, we are living in a constant state of anxiety. Circumstances are way beyond our control and the outcome is far from certain. Anxiety is a natural reaction in such times. Are you aware of yours?

Lexico.com defines anxiety this way: “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” Isn’t that what we are in the middle of right now? Something with an uncertain outcome? How aware are you of the anxiety you are living with? What are your clues? Do you know?

When I was a baby believer in Jesus I was in that transition time of learning to be a grown-up outside the academic world and was in the midst of learning my first real job. I asked my pastor for prayer because I was eperiencing a strange discomfort. I felt like my tongue was swollen. A really weird feeling! I wasn’t sure what to do about it and, like most discomforts we face, I just wanted it to stop. As my pastor and a few others prayed for me, he shared that God had showed him that anxiety was causing me to rub my tongue angainst my teeth and that was the source of my trouble. That wasn’t what I expected! So, the problem wasn’t my tongue, it was anxiety. I wasn’t aware of feeling anxious, but that surprising and nebulous answer helped me begin to recognize it.

Over the many years since, it has been a source of help in identifying anxiety in me. From time to time I notice a constant tension in my jaw. When I recognize that feeling, it’s a clue that I am experiencing anxiety, even if I have not been aware of it. The tension makes me aware of it and I continue to grow in understanding what to do when anxiety comes to my attention.

I have learned to go to God with anxiety and to take a journey of discovery with Him. The tension indicator leads to questions that I process with God: What am I anxious about and why? What do I need to change?