“That’s mine!” It’s not just a two-year-old’s declaration. We adults can also be very possessive of our space, our stuff, our selves. I have to admit it. I can be very territorial. It may not show on the outside, but I often struggle on the inside with the conflict of wanting to give, but also wanting to keep. My first internal reaction when someone sits in the chair I just got up from might be, “That’s my chair!”, but the second might be, “But it’s just a chair and I can sit somewhere else”. The selfishness speaks, but is often ignored. I can ignore it because I know that ultimately, nothing is really mine, not even me.
There are people I’ve encountered whose personal example challenged me, changed my perspective and helped me take steps in overcoming my own boundary-driven territorial matrix. When Tom and I were young parents we spent two years living in Pensacola, Florida. We were part of a very large church community. It was hard to meet people at first, but through some ministries and small groups we became connected with Mark and Debbie from Mississippi.
My first memory of Debbie was at the end of church one Sunday. We came out to one of Florida’s signature afternoon thunderstorm downpours. I stood under the church overhang trying to figure out how to get myself and my infant son out to our car with minimal soaking. Tom had flown home for a family funeral. Debbie saw my dilemma and offered to hold Jonathan while I ran to my car. I was able to dash out and drive back under the shelter and get him in the car seat without him getting soaked. I thanked Debbie and as I drove away, in my rear view mirror I noticed her running through the deluge to get to the car where here family was waiting for her. She had forgone her chance for a dry departure so that she could help me, and Mark was more than willing to wait while she did it.
That was the first of so many unselfish and generous actions I witnessed from Mark and Debbie, They were the ones we called at 3:00in the morning so that we could leave our son with them on the way to the hospital for Baby Number Two. They were the ones we could talk with as we struggled through living 1200 miles away from our families. We watched them live lives of service in so many ways, but the gesture that most impressed me was that when we were preparing to travel north for Christmas with our families they offered us their car. We were driving a small Plymouth Horizon with two car seats in the back (and no air conditioning, by the way - in FLORIDA!) They offered us their station wagon (minivans were not yet a thing!) so that we would have enough room for all that we needed to transport for two kids under two years old and Christmas with both our families. We were tremendously grateful at the time, but as the years go by this example stands out as one of the most unselfish actions I’ve ever experienced. Their family of five used our Horizon while we drove 1200 miles in each direction to spend a week with our families in New York and then return to Pensacola. They took a risk and entrusted us with their most expensive possession so that we could have a more comfortable trip. We took a picture of their Mississippi car covered in snow for the first and only time!
A car is one of those items most people would not even think of sharing, but Mark and Debbie offered theirs to us willingly and without hesitation. Why? Because they believed that their lives were not their own, and because their lives were not their own, what they had was not their own. They lived with a higher goal in mind than their own comfort or satisfaction. Believing that they were not their own caused them to live differently. They lived with open hands. They saw all they had and all they did as something to give away for the benefit of others in honor of Christ. Their unselfish example still challenges me.
The truth is that we don’t like to share no matter how old we get, isn’t it? If you are like me, you probably hate to admit that. It seems immature. We should be over that by now, right? But the reason we struggle is that it is more than immature. It’s human. Two-year-olds just haven’t learned to cover it up like adults do Our selfishness is part of the human condition, the result of the first selfish action back in the Garden, but when we commit ourselves to Christ, we are not our own. We have been purchased at great cost. We owe Him something. We owe Him everything.
I know I owe Him everything, but sometimes it’s difficult to keep my hands open. That natural inclination to grab and keep is strong. I am not unselfish on my own, but, thankfully, I am not left on my own. I have the Spirit of Christ in me. It’s His Spirit in me, and you, that will enable us to share cars and get drenched so someone else can stay dry. We are not our own, but He doesn’t leave us on our own in our efforts to live unselfishly. Our decision makes way for His empowering. I remember that I am not my own and choose to give up my seat, but it’s His unselfishness that enables me to do it willingly.
I am not my own. I am His. And so are you, dear friend.
Key thought: I am not my own, so what I have is not my own.
A Scripture to consider:
Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NLT
A YES Challenge: Who has been generous to you in honor of Christ? How did their action demonstrate their belief that they are not their own? How can you choose open-handed living today?
Prayer: Father, it’s true that I often don’t like to share my stuff or myself. I can be selfish, but I want to be generous because I know that I am not my own. You have given all for me and I want to give all for You. Help me to recognize opportunities to demonstrate that my life is Yours. Help me to give myself away for Your glory. Amen.