“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
What is a perfectionist? A perfectionist seeks perfection above all, right? A perfectionist sets the bar high for themselves. If that person were honest with themselves, they would have to admit that by striving for perfection, they have set an unattainable goal. Are you a perfectionist?
I am a recovering perfectionist. There have been times I would rather do nothing than do something imperfectly. I was never content with my own efforts and, consequently, discontent with the efforts of others as well. Perfection may seem like a worthy goal, but, in reality, it is bondage.
Recognizing perfection was not attainable became a major turning point in my faith. Thankfully, it happened within the first year of my commitment to Christ. Accepting that Jesus was the only perfect person who ever walked the earth helped me to recognize that I could not be perfect. There was freedom in that, but old habits die very hard. I still struggle with a compulsion to be perfect and to accept when I have done my best, even though it is short of perfection.
What about you?
Here are some things I’ve learned that help me celebrate progress over perfection.
Recognize realistic goals. Realistic goals still involve risk and require growth. Realistic goals are still about moving outside your comfort zone and attempting things you have yet to learn. Realistic goals are not small. They contain possibility.
What makes a goal realistic rather than perfectionistic? A realistic goal allows for learning and mistakes. You recognize that it’s possible, but not without effort or God’s help. A realistic goal gives you room to grow without expecting it to be easy and perfect.
Compare your accomplishment to where you started, not where you hoped to end up. Even if you set a realistic goal, you might not meet it. You might not actually attain what you hoped, but goals are about growth, not accomplishment. That may be a perspective shift for you. If you are willing to focus on growth rather than accomplishment, you’ll be able to celebrate progress. Ask yourself if you are further along then when you started. If you are, then you have something to celebrate. Progress is success. Congratulations!
Even perfection can be imperfect. If I perfectly accomplish a goal but miss out on a significant relationship is that really success? If I achieve all the success I envision but sacrifice my time with God to attain it is what I’ve achieved worth that sacrifice? Every goal requires some sacrifice. When you set goals it’s important to evaluate what sacrifice that goal will require. If it requires you to sacrifice something that is important, is that a goal worth setting?
When I pursue progress over perfection, I can evaluate my situation more realistically. I can make room for the things that are important but may slow my progress or keep me from perfectly attaining my goal. In the end, what matters most?
Dear friend, learn to celebrate progress over perfection. You will most certainly be happier, but you will also get a better perspective on just how far you have come. You are so much further along than you think. Recognize realistic goals. Look at how far you’ve come. Make the right kinds of sacrifices to accomplish your goals. Remember to celebrate your progress!
Key Question: What progress can I celebrate, even if I did not perfectly achieve my goal?
A Scripture to Consider: “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
A YES Challenge: Evaluate the goals you have set for yourself. Are they realistic? What sacrifices are required? Adjust your goals as needed. Recognize areas where you have made progress and plan a tangible way to celebrate your progress.
Prayer: Father, You are perfect. You are without fault and make no mistakes. But You don’t call me to that kind of perfection. When Scripture calls me to be perfect as You are perfect, the challenge is to become completely committed to You. You call me to mature in my walk with You and to become more like Jesus. Help me to set goals that keep that perfection in view. Help me not to sacrifice that while I work toward achievement. You are the goal I most want to pursue. Every other goal must fit into that. I love You, Lord. Amen.
You’ve left the room, but the argument is not over. Your thoughts are stuck in a loop. The same hurtful exchange of words flashes across your mind over and over and over. You can’t seem to reset your inner replay. All the emotions that should have stayed in that room follow you everywhere you go. Hurt and anger continue to shout in your ears. Your heart rate is through the roof. Hot anger rises in your flushed face. The war is far from over.
Your inner screening room then begins playing out possible outcomes for a future exchange. You don’t really know what will happen, but your mind is already strategizing your next offensive in the war of words. Your emotions rise and fall with every imagined interaction. When you hurl an imagined barb at your intended target proud and triumphant vindictiveness rises to the surface. You feel all the emotions of a situation that hasn’t really happened and then you carry that resentment into the next conversation which turns into another altercation. Your emotions have become attached to an unreality. Nothing actually happened before you walked into the room. Do you truly want to spend your emotional energy on something that isn’t even real?