I had a plan. I had a plan for what I was going to write about this week. I had even begun to write it. Then something happened that changed my plan. Something totally unexpected. Something world-altering. My friend Christine lost her valiant battle with cancer, but, through her faith, she won the ultimate victory.
She didn’t want to be known as a victim of cancer, so I want to emphasize what she has won over what she lost. But I have lost a great deal, and you have, too, even though you may not have known her. She is one of those people who made the world a better place just by being in it. Her friendship made an impact on me and who I am, so if I make an impact on you at all, Christine is part of that. Even though she has left us, her influence continues, so she makes the world a better place by the legacy she leaves. She left a legacy of passion, courage and love.
Passion defines how we face life. What we are passionate about influences our words, our decisions and our attitudes. Christine was a woman full of passion. When you spoke with Christine about anything at all there was an intensity in her eyes as she intently listened and responded. She didn’t do anything half-heartedly.
She was passionate about her husband, Jay. For 37 years she lived a life of commitment, forgiveness and fun. She and Jay learned to delight in each other. It’s so painful to think of him learning to live without her, but I know that he will honor her by continuing with the same commitment, to live forward and grow in all that God wants, that fueled their life together.
She was passionate about her children, all seven of those living here on earth and the two that she gets to squeeze in heaven. She laid down her life to nurture her kids through home-schooling, and was, as Jay says, her kids’ greatest fan. She gave every ounce of energy to helping her kids grow into the beautiful souls that they are. Each one is a reflection of her own beautiful soul.
Most of all, she was passionate about Jesus. Her deep love for Him fueled all her other passions, including the passion for any person who came into her life. She loved each person she touched because Jesus had touched her life. When Christine talked about Jesus she radiated a fierce joy. I smile just thinking about it.
Courage defines how we face the uncertain future. Every future is uncertain. Every day requires courage. There are experiences that make us more aware of that uncertainty. Courage is the ability to continue with confidence when the way is intimidating or unclear. Christine faced clouds of uncertainty with the sunshine of courage.
I spent a lot of time with Christine in one season of uncertainty. I wrote about it a few weeks ago. When we both had small children and were stuck in less-than-ideal living situations Christine and I had a standing weekly date. It helped us both. Her courage was expressed in her commitment to live with joy and hope in that uncomfortable season, to not let the less-than-ideal steal her now.
I have not spent a lot of time with her in the season of cancer-produced uncertainty, but I know that she faced it with the same zeal for overcoming, for not letting the less-than-ideal steal the now. She chose to live through the battle with the best quality of life she could. I wasn’t with her. I am sure she didn’t do this perfectly, but I know that it was her choice to continue to give her best self to every person she came in contact with, regardless of how she was feeling and regardless of the uncertainty that fighting cancer brought to her life. Her courage allowed her to live with joy. She didn’t let cancer steal anything, even though it was taking her body.
Love is not so much about how we feel, but about our commitment to give ourself for the benefit of another. Love, in it’s purest form, was expressed in God sending His Son to die for us while we were still sinners, selfishly rejecting His care (Romans 5:8). He did what was best for us, even though we didn’t want it or deserve it. He showed us our worth by giving us His best.
Christine showed each person she met their God-given worth by giving them her best. She gave them her “I-am-so-glad-to-see-you” smiles or her “here’s-my-whole-heart” hugs. She demonstrated care and respect to each person she met. Many are feeling her loss personally because she made them feel valued and cared for in a way that few others have. She did’t just love those she knew. She loved the world. Really. She did.
I find it very descriptive of Christine that one of her favorite movies was Braveheart, a film I have never been able to sit through easily. I remember her describing her connection with the final scene where the main character, William Wallace, screams “Freedom!” as he is being tortured to death for his leadership in fighting for Scottish independence from England. That cry connected with her passion to see every person, including herself, live with the freedom that comes from living whole-heartedly for Christ. The film’s portrayal of a passionate William Wallace committed to leading his people with courage in the face of uncertainty, and loving them enough to do what he thought was best for them, in spite of the personal cost, resonated with Christine.
The world has lost a brave heart and it will never be the same, not because Christine Cookingham is gone, but because Christine Cookingham was here.
I will miss you, my friend. I will miss knowing that you are here in the world. Yet, I know that you are experiencing the fulfillment of all that your life pointed to, the source of your passion, courage and love. I know that you have heard the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25;21) and, in that, I rejoice.
