'Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ' Colossians 3:1-2

You’ve left the room, but the argument is not over. Your thoughts are stuck in a loop. The same hurtful exchange of words flashes across your mind over and over and over. You can’t seem to reset your inner replay. All the emotions that should have stayed in that room follow you everywhere you go. Hurt and anger continue to shout in your ears. Your heart rate is through the roof. Hot anger rises in your flushed face. The war is far from over.

Your inner screening room then begins playing out possible outcomes for a future exchange. You don’t really know what will happen, but your mind is already strategizing your next offensive in the war of words. Your emotions rise and fall with every imagined interaction. When you hurl an imagined barb at your intended target proud and triumphant vindictiveness rises to the surface. You feel all the emotions of a situation that hasn’t really happened and then you carry that resentment into the next conversation which turns into another altercation. Your emotions have become attached to an unreality. Nothing actually happened before you walked into the room. Do you truly want to spend your emotional energy on something that isn’t even real?

Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. Colossians 3:13

There are those moments that become engraved in memory. Often, they are the most beautiful moments. The proposal. The graduation. The birth. But sometimes, they are the most painful moments: The breakup. The failure. The loss. This was one of those kinds of moments.

It isn’t necessary, or wise, for me to share the details with you. It was a moment of great loss, loss of position, loss of hope, loss of future. The loss was a decision, someone else’s decision, and the result of things out of my control. I understood the outcome but had hoped that there might be a different way to resolve the issues. Yet here it was. Loss. Pain. An uncertain future.

Thankfully, within a few months, hope was reborn and a new future began to take shape. I didn’t feel anger or resentment toward the one who made the decision, yet whenever I heard a message on forgiveness, that moment of loss was the one that always came to mind, even years later. I found that difficult to understand. I once heard a message that forgiveness is like peeling an onion and we sometimes have layers of hurt to forgive. That makes sense, but this wasn’t one of those situations. So, why did it continue to come to mind?