When You Have What You Don’t Want or Want What You Don’t Have

October 31, 2026 Cathleen Zahradnik

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NLT

More that thirty years ago I was listening to a cassette recording (Remember those?!) of the well-known author and speaker, Elisabeth Elliot. In her message she defined suffering as “having what you don’t want or wanting what you don’t have.” That concept encompassed every listener. It changed how I viewed suffering.

Are you going through a hard time right now? According to Elisabeth Elliott’s definition, you are suffering. How are you finding comfort? What if the path to comfort is through your suffering?

Suffering is anything that disrupts comfort. At the time, we were living in my parents' basement with two toddlers. It seemed like that time would never end. I was unhappy, frustrated, and struggling. All I wanted was a home of my own. I wanted what I didn’t have and had what I didn’t want. By Elisabeth Elliott’s definition, I was suffering. Her message went on to describe a faith-filled response to suffering: Worship and Offering. She encouraged her listeners —she encouraged me — to bring the suffering to Jesus and offer it to Him as an act of worship. That changed everything. That led to comfort.

Suffering comes before comfort. If you are not suffering, you don’t need comfort, do you? We often think of comfort as a glassy, sunlit, calm sea. A life with no troubles. That isn’t comfort, although it is peace. Peace is a by-product of comfort. But comfort has to do with relief, and relief comes after trouble.

Dear friend, there is a promise from Jesus that we often ignore. In the Gospel of John 16:33, Jesus promises that in this world we WILL have trouble. There are no “ifs” in that statement. But He also encourages us to take heart because He HAS overcome the world. Receiving comfort, relief in trouble, starts with accepting that we are experiencing trouble instead of trying to skip over it. Once we accept that we are in a suffering situation, we know where to turn to receive comfort. We come to Jesus in worship and offer Him our trouble because He has overcome it. He gives us what we need to overcome it as well, even if the circumstance never changes. This is what I have learned through many, many experiences.

Comfort that lasts comes from Christ. You may try to comfort yourself in many ways, and there isn’t anything wrong with that as long as you recognize that it is temporary. Comfort that lasts only comes through your relationships with Christ.

I can remember so many moments over the years when Jesus showed up in my season of suffering. In my kitchen, in my car, in a worship service, in a conversation with a friend, or a moment of prayer with my husband, Jesus has met me. I might recall the perfect scripture that applies to the situation. Or I might remember a song full of His truth and sing it out loud. Or I might simply experience His presence in a way that reminds me He is walking with me through it all. Any of those experiences changed how I approached the suffering going forward. The situation causing the suffering did not change. I did. The best part of it all is that my relationship with Jesus was deeper and sweeter. Those moments have shaped who I am now, and I am grateful.

Dear friend, whatever you are going through right now may be exceptionally difficult. Your tendency may be to try to skip over the suffering and try to make yourself feel better, to find comfort in something other than Christ.

May I encourage you to come to Jesus in worship and offer that suffering to Him? He will meet you right where you are, in the middle of that trouble. And He will give you the comfort you need. Comfort that lasts and comfort that will transform you.

Key Question: How does suffering lead to comfort?

A Scripture to Consider: “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NLT

A YES Challenge: What would it look like to come to Jesus in the middle of your difficult situation and offer Him the situation and yourself as an act of worship?

Prayer: Dear Lord, You know exactly what is happening in my life right now. You know the thing that I want that I don’t have. You know the thing I have that I don’t want. I come to You now, Lord. Somehow, I have to believe that You want to bring good out of this in my life. I offer it to You now. I would love for You to change the situation, but if You choose not to, I ask You to change me. Amen.

If you find my posts encouraging, then you will like my book, The YES Adventure: Transform Your Life with One Word. Check it out for encouragement, inspiration, and more about God-centered goal-setting. Please leave a review on Amazon! That will help other people find the book and receive guidance and encouragement in living a God-centered life.

If you are stuck and would like a partner to help you process your next step, I’d love to help. Schedule a 30-minute complimentary coaching session here.

Living Out Faith in Uncertain Times

October 17, 2026 Cathleen Zahradnik

“We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.” 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 NLT

Faith in uncertain times. That’s been the theme of my posts for a while now. At the moment, I am living that out.

Tom and I went out of town for a trip and found ourselves in an uncertain time. He had been feeling fatigued, but nothing that we recognized as a red flag. Then he woke up in the middle of the night in extreme pain. A trip to the ER revealed pneumonia. A CT scan raised some questions about the origin of the infection. Subsequently, he was admitted. Over the next few days, doctors did a variety of tests to determine what was actually happening in Tom’s body.

At this point, they have ruled out the most threatening possibilities. Tom is responding to the IV antibiotics and the pain is mitigated, though not completely gone. We are still waiting for word of when he might be released to recover at home. He usually drives the long trips. This time it will be me.

So that is our current situation. An uncertain time. What can I tell you about my faith in a time like this?

First, over the years I have learned to accept situations as they are. The only thing I can control about this is me. I can’t speed up Tom’s healing so that we can go home. God controls the timing. Whether He heals miraculously or works through doctors, the timing isn't up to me. The best thing I can do is trust Him to work in the way He sees fit.

Often, our strong desire to control situations causes the most stress. The longing to circumvent the circumstance or make it stop leads to a great deal of angst. Accepting the situation as it is helps me direct my energy towards what is actually happening, rather than fighting against it.

Next, I have learned to accept my own limitations and work within them. Back to “The only thing I can control is me.” I don’t like driving in city traffic, especially in an unfamiliar location. I don’t like tight spaces in parking garages or parallel parking. I just don’t do it enough. I don’t trust my own sense of depth perception. I am not a terrible driver, but I know what stresses me out.

We are in an unfamiliar city with a lot of traffic, narrow streets, road construction, hills, and limited parking options. The hospital has a parking garage, but the first time I came, I found a close parking lot. The spaces were just as tight as a garage, but in the open air. Although I successfully navigated all of that with limited anxiety, once I was parked at the hotel near the hospital, I decided to pay a driver for the rest of my hospital trips instead of driving myself. Why? Because it takes away one layer of stress for me in an already stressful situation. It saves my emotional and mental energy for what is most important.

I have also learned to concentrate on the present moment without projecting into the future. What do I mean by that? There are questions about what happens next with Tom’s recovery. How long will he be out of work? We will have to decide what our priorities are when it comes to other commitments. We will have to navigate the hospital bills and other unexpected expenses connected with this time. There are some challenges ahead, but more than forty years ago I heard a statement that has guided me through many a trial:

“God doesn’t give us the grace to anticipate. He gives us the grace to go through it.”

It isn’t always easy to turn off the brain as it anticipates the future challenges. After all, God designed our brains for problem-solving. But I need my brain to spend its mental energy on solving current problems. I know that is what I need to focus on, so I must choose to put the future in God’s hands and trust that He will guide us through it with grace.

Every trial I’ve walked through has helped me trust God in a deeper way. I must rely on Him and trust in His love. (1 John 4:16) I can walk through this time with peace and grace because of what I have learned through previous times. It isn’t easy. I don’t want to minimize anything about this. But I have experienced God’s faithfulness in the past, and I expect it from Him now.

Dear friend, you can trust Him. Accept that He is in control even when everything is out of your control. Do your best to manage yourself. Accept the situation and your own limitations. Focus your mental and emotional energy on the present, believing there will be grace for what comes next, just as there is grace for now.

Praying that sharing this helps you through your own uncertain times.

PS: We are now home. Tom is better every day, but it’s going to take a bit longer to get back to full strength and “back to normal”. Thanks for your prayers!

Key Question: How do I live out faith in uncertain times?

A Scripture to Consider: “In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.” 2 Corinthians 1:9-10 NLT

A YES Challenge: Determine where you are trying to control or circumvent your current challenge. What can you do to release control to God?

Prayer: Father, You know all that is happening right now. I recognize that it is out of my control. Help me trust that You are present in this circumstance and help me trust and rely on Your love. You know my weaknesses. Help me accept them and teach me how to work within my limitations. You are faithful. You have been faithful. You will be faithful. Amen.

If you are stuck and would like a partner to help you process your next step, I’d love to help. Schedule a 30-minute complimentary coaching session here.

Finding Rest for Your Soul

September 26, 2026 Cathleen Zahradnik

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

When you and I are going through difficult times, we want to do something. We don’t want to feel helpless and overwhelmed. We want to find ways to control outcomes. We don’t want to be passive. Or maybe that isn’t you. Maybe you give up in despair and hopelessly ride the waves without acting at all.

Neither of those approaches are going to bring us peace in the middle of the storm. Either we exhaust ourselves fighting against the waves of turmoil, or we succumb to the torrent and are overwhelmed by the tumult. But how do we find peace in the middle of the storm? What actions can we take?

Come to Jesus. This is active. It’s a choice we can make. We may not know exactly what that looks like, but we can choose it. To come to Jesus is to bring whatever you are thinking or feeling to Him. It doesn’t have to be pretty, poetic, perfect, or even prayerful. It’s a relationship, right? He loves you without any polish. Just come.

Receive what He gives. What does He give? Understanding, Wisdom. His presence right there with you in the middle of the mess.

How to Win the War Within (Repost)

August 15, 2026 Cathleen Zahradnik

'Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ' Colossians 3:1-2

You’ve left the room, but the argument is not over. Your thoughts are stuck in a loop. The same hurtful exchange of words flashes across your mind over and over and over. You can’t seem to reset your inner replay. All the emotions that should have stayed in that room follow you everywhere you go. Hurt and anger continue to shout in your ears. Your heart rate is through the roof. Hot anger rises in your flushed face. The war is far from over.

Your inner screening room then begins playing out possible outcomes for a future exchange. You don’t really know what will happen, but your mind is already strategizing your next offensive in the war of words. Your emotions rise and fall with every imagined interaction. When you hurl an imagined barb at your intended target proud and triumphant vindictiveness rises to the surface. You feel all the emotions of a situation that hasn’t really happened and then you carry that resentment into the next conversation which turns into another altercation. Your emotions have become attached to an unreality. Nothing actually happened before you walked into the room. Do you truly want to spend your emotional energy on something that isn’t even real?

A - C = P: Anxiety - Control = Peace (Repost)

August 8, 2026 Cathleen Zahradnik

'Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. ‘Philippians 4:6-7 MSG

I was listening to a podcast when I heard a quote that brought so much clarity, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Here it is: “Anxiety results from wanting to control something God has not given us to control.” I didn’t remember the name of the person or why she was on the podcast, but what she said made so much practical sense. (I looked it up later. So, if you are interested, it was Joanna Weaver’s podcast, The Living Room, and the guest was Sharon Hodde Miller, author of The Cost of Control: Why We Crave It, the Anxiety It Gives Us, and the Real Power God Promises Us.) As I pondered her statement, a formula took shape in my brain, “A – C = P,” Anxiety – Control = Peace. Easy to remember and a goal worth aiming for.

Anxiety is something we all experience. Anxiety steals peace and commands focus. Whether it’s something personal about your family, or a job, or something broader like politics and the world situation, anxiety creeps up behind us, leaps upon us and gets us in a stranglehold. Ever feel that way?

Your brain goes in circles, trying to resolve something you are powerless to resolve. You can’t sleep and every waking moment is consumed with mental and practical fruitless attempts to solve the problem. Suddenly, it seems like nothing else is happening in your life. What started as a thought becomes a huge shadow. What do you do?

Ask: Why Am I Asking?

February 8, 2025 Cathleen Zahradnik

“…You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James 4:2-3 NIV

Motives. It’s so hard to recognize and understand our own motives. What are my motives when I approach God? Am I asking Him to agree with me or am I agreeing with Him? What is it I really want? My motives when I approach God will affect how I ask and what I ask Him for.

Corrie Ten Boom was a well-known Christian author, speaker, and concentration camp survivor. I once heard a quote attributed to her that has shaped my prayers since. She said the key to knowing God’s will is being willing to do whatever He asks. Wow! That is a simple and challenging statement! Do I truly want to know God’s will? Am I willing to do whatever He says?

When I get honest with myself, I recognize times when God’s will is not what I want most. I am really looking for something else, even though I am going to God in prayer.

Comfort. I clearly remember the moment when God revealed comfort as a motive for my prayers. I was fervently praying for a loved one to break out of a deep depression. At least I convinced myself that is what I was praying for. As I prayed, I felt God’s whisper. “Stop!” He showed me that I wasn’t praying for my loved one. I was praying for myself. My loved one’s challenge made my life more difficult. What I was really praying for was my own comfort. My loved one’s healing would make my life easier. That was my motive for prayer. Yuck!

Ambition. I often hear people say they want to do great things for God. So do I!

What if God Really Does Love You?

December 28, 2024 Cathleen Zahradnik

“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” 1 John 4:16 NLT

The most amazing and hard-to-believe aspect of the God story is that this amazing King of the universe loves humanity. He loves all of humanity. But, even more amazing. He loves us as individuals. He loves you and He loves me. It’s a concept I am still struggling to apply to my life. What about you? How deeply have you contemplated His love for you?

God loves you because of who He is. The first letter of John declares that God IS love. He loves because it is His character to love. That can be difficult to remember when reading some of the judgements in the Old Testament! Remembering that God’s character is love raises the question of why hard things happen. “If God really is love, why did He allow this to happen to me?”

The questions don’t negate the truth. God is love. Yet, He allows tragedy and difficult consequences. He doesn’t fix everything in our broken world. Sometimes life is confusing. But when I remember that God is love and that He loves me, I can focus on that love and let the questions rest. Relying on and trusting in His love brings peace. I may not understand, but I can choose to let go when I believe God loves me.

God loves you regardless of what you do. God doesn’t reject people who make mistakes. He doesn’t write you off when you mess up. His loves doesn’t change based on your behavior. That scolding voice you hear in your head is NOT God. It may be the memory of a scolding adult in your childhood, but it is not Your Heavenly Father.

When you and I make foolish and selfish choices, God does not dismiss us in disappointment. He doesn’t reject you because of your imperfections. He reaches out to lift you up and help you make the corrections or to help you walk through the consequences. He loves you and I enough to help us learn from our mistakes.

I have realized that making a mistake is one of my greatest fears. Some of that was born into me. My mother has told me she heard me practicing words in my crib before I said them in public. I have an in-born desire for excellence. But there is a line between aiming for excellence and avoiding mistakes at all costs. I’ve realized a mistaken belief that a mistake meant I should be rejected. Becoming aware of that has brought freedom.

Perhaps people may reject me if I mess up, but God never will. I still need to fight the wrong thinking, but it doesn’t control me anymore. If any of that resonates with you, I hope awareness brings you freedom.

God loves you right now. You don’t have to earn it. Knowing that and living it out are two different things.

A Christmas Blessing for 2024

December 24, 2024 Cathleen Zahradnik

Dear Friends,

A Christmas blessing for you! Enjoy this holiday season and keep Jesus at the center.

With love,

Cathleen

How to Have Joy Even If

December 21, 2024 Cathleen Zahradnik

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:11 NIV
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence…” Psalms 16:11 NIV

Joy is the theme of Advent Week Three. Joy has also been my word for the year 2024. You will hear more about it in a future post, but around October or November, I begin to pray about a theme word for the coming year. I was and am certain that Joy is the word that was meant to be my 2024 theme. But to be honest, I am still trying to discern why. Would you mind processing with me?

Here are a few of my notes from last year as I looked forward to 2024:

JOY - Joy is about HOPE fulfilled. Joy is in the hoping, but complete joy comes as the hope is fulfilled. Joy is a choice based on hope. JOY releases control and obeys with hope. JOY comes from hopeful obedience. JOY is the natural result of hope.

From Christianity.com: “Biblical joy is choosing to respond to external circumstances with inner contentment and satisfaction, because we know that God will use these experiences to accomplish His work in and through our lives.” Joy is a choice, but God gives us the ability to choose it.

From a YouVersion Daily Refresh: “To rejoice is a declaration of trust.”

My conclusion note: Joy is an emotion of happiness that begins with a choice to trust in God’s promises. It is the natural result of hope. Trust is the key to joy

So, what is my takeaway from a year of contemplating joy?

Joy begins with a choice. In our emotion-driven culture, people tend to let their feelings guide them rather than make choices that guide their feelings. The emotion of joy starts with a choice to remain in God’s presence, to make Him the center of life.

There have been many unanticipated changes in my life over the years. Changes that I didn’t want and that caught me off-guard. I have had to learn to take an “even if” perspective and that has led to joy. What is an “even if” perspective?

Do You Want Perfection or Peace?

December 14, 2024 Cathleen Zahradnik

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.” Isaiah 26:3-4 NLT

Do you feel like the holiday season is a giant tornado of responsibility, expectations and activity? I used to feel that way. I will be honest. One reason that has changed is that we celebrate Christmas with our adult children on the day after Thanksgiving. But that isn’t the full reason.

I remember feeling overwhelmed and like I was missing the point of the season. In His great love, God helped me understand that what needed to change was not the activity, but my perspective. He helped me shift the way I think about the season and that has led me to peace. The busy seasonal activities haven’t changed much, but I have learned to be at peace as the tornado swirls around me.

Could you use some of that? Here’s what I’ve learned.

Peace comes from an eternal perspective. An eternal perspective is simply remembering that this life is not the goal. A perfect Christmas is not the goal. The goal for a believer is a life that honors God. The goal is to experience heaven and that starts now. Heaven is where God is present. His presence consumes every space in heaven.

An eternal perspective here and now invites God to consume every space in my life. Isn’t that the biggest challenge of our earthly lives?