Things hadn’t gone as I had hoped or expected. I was disappointed and discouraged. I was not really willing to admit that I was downright mad at God and that was blocking my relationship with Him. My spiritual walk was stagnated. I was becoming a bitter person full of self-pity because my dreams had not come true the way that I had hoped.
I was on a women’s retreat with my church when I felt led to take a walk in the woods. I felt as if the Holy Spirit was saying, “Take this path.” So I did. The path led up a hill and as the way became steeper I stooped to choose a walking stick for some leverage. The sun was peeking through the trees. There was a light breeze. Leaves crunched under my feet while I could smell the warm spring earth. I was very aware of my surroundings and attentively listening for the whispering of the Spirit. As I crept up the arduous hill I kept my eyes toward the top. I was anxious to be off this incline! A few steps away from the crest of the hill I felt the Spirit whisper,”Stop here.” It didn’t seem to make sense when I was almost to the top, but I did.
It was incredibly awkward trying to keep my balance. I had to stand with one foot forward and one foot behind me in order not to fall. Stepping back could start a tumble. Moving forward would take all the effort I had and the assistance of my walking stick. As I stood there, I felt the Spirit whisper, “This is where you are on your walk with Me.” Remaining motionless was causing me to struggle to keep my balance. With one foot forward, one foot behind, I realized that a decision of the will was needed. I couldn’t stay in that position for long, on the hill or in my relationship with God. Gravity would eventually take me down unless I pushed forward. It was as if the Spirit was whispering, “It’s your choice. What are you going to do?”
I made my decision and pushed my weight up the hill, pulling myself up with my walking stick at the same time. It took every ounce of effort, but before too long I was off the hill and on a level path. The surroundings were the same but I felt totally different. The sun was still hidden behind the trees. The leaves still crunched. The earth still smelled like spring, but I could take it all in and enjoy it. The heaviness I had been carrying for weeks had lifted. I kept following the path, not knowing what was ahead, but now I had a sense of expectation and wonder. What was around that curve?
In just a few steps I found myself in a clearing that looked out over a small lake. The sun sparkled off the clear water and tinged the green leaves golden. How lovely! It occurred to me that I would have missed that beautiful vista if I had given up. If I had chosen to go back instead of forward I would have lost this unexpected golden moment. And I understood that God was speaking to me through this as well. I needed to keep moving forward in my life and in my walk with Him, in spite of the disappointment and difficulty. “Press on. Who you are now is not who you will be.” I returned from the walk with a fresh perspective on my situation and left the bitterness in the woods.
That walk was over thirty years ago, but I have never forgotten it. For me, that walk has become a metaphor for life. God used it to teach me the value of perseverance when the way gets steep and the awkwardness of stopping instead of making a decision to press on. It is so tempting to give up when the way gets hard or when life is excruciatingly disappointing. But, as I also learned, if you make the decision to keep pressing on, you will be surprised by unexpected beauty.
Keep going, Friend. You never know what is around the bend.
Key thought: Keep going. You don’t know what is around the bend.
A Scripture to consider:“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14 ESV
A YES challenge: Take some quiet with God and ask Him to show you where you are on your journey with Him. Do you feel stuck in your relationship? Ask Him what you need to do to keep moving forward. Take an index card and write what you will do to indicate your resolve. Keep it in a place where you will see it often as a reminder.
Prayer: Dear Lord, there are times when I feel like giving up. And maybe, if I am hones with myself, I am angry with you for the way things are turning out. This is not what I expected! Help me to make the decision to trust You and keep pressing forward. Help me to push past now. I know what has happened. But I don’t know what will happen. I choose now to keep moving forward, Amen.
