How to Set a Goal That Really Matters

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3: 23-4

 I don’t know about you, but I like to set goals early in the year. Setting goals gives me a direction for my time and energy. Over time I have learned how to set goals that motivate me and help me to move forward. I find that I meet the goals more often than I miss them. That is really encouraging!

An important part of goal setting and keeping is evaluation. Throughout the year I keep my goals in mind. I look at them frequently and I step back to see how I am doing in forward motion toward meeting that goal. But, later in the year, like November, is a good time for some serious evaluation. I look at the goals I set for the year and gauge what progress I’ve made, but I also begin to consider what my goals might be for the next year.

I have learned that setting a goal is an act of faith. I know that I can’t meet any goal without God’s help. So, I prayerfully set the goals with God. Setting goals for next year actually starts now for me. What about you? Do you set goals and stay on track with them? What if I could give you a way to set goals that will help you to make progress in what matters most? It might be a different approach and I hope it helps you end next year knowing that you have moved forward toward fulfilling the potential God put in you!

Several years ago, I began employing a different kind of goal that has guided my other goals. I pray about and choose a word as an overarching theme for the year. I have heard it said that the word really “chooses you” and I have found that to be true!

In the fall, I start listening for what my word might be for the next year. Many times, that word has been a surprise to me. I might be sitting in church or a conference and when the speaker uses a certain word it seems to be on loudspeaker! Or I might be reading – not necessarily the Bible, it could be anything – when a word seems to stand out as if it is. not only bold, but highlighted in fluorescent yellow or pink or green! I give it time and look for ways that word is confirmed before I take my next step.

Once I settle on the word, I begin to pray about an anchor scripture to go along with that word. One year my word was “Perseverance” and the companion scripture was Hebrews 10:36.

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (NIV)

Another year my word was “Loved” and my scripture was Ephesians 3:19 (NLT)

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

The systems I’ve created to keep my word and verse in mind have helped me to memorize the verse but also reminded me to do what it said – to persevere in pursuing my goals or to trust that because I am loved by God I am full of life and power that comes from Him. You get the idea?  

Finally, I set some goals for the year. I don’t usually finalize those goals until January, but I begin to think about them as I evaluate the past year. As I craft goal statements, I try to keep my word in mind and align the goal with that word. The theme word doesn’t define the goal itself. It defines how I want to approach the goal. Such as with “perseverance” or to “influence” or from a position of knowing that I am “loved.”

As the year comes to a close, I find myself encouraged at how God has helped me to do so much more than I could do on my own. This year my word was “launch” and I have found myself launched into so many new things. Even though I may not have accomplished all the tasks on my goal list, I have lived out my word. The word is more about what God has done in me than accomplishing tasks. That’s my hope for you. That you would live in a way that allows God to do His work so that you can fulfill all that He has for you.

So, what do you think? Does this process intrigue you? If so, reach out to me. I’d love to talk with you about it. No matter how you approach your goals, my hope is that you will commit yourself to being all that God has called you to be. That is a goal worth reaching for!

 Key Question: What are you doing right now to prepare for progress in the next year?

A Scripture to Consider: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3: 23-4

A YES Challenge: Start praying about a word for 2024. Keep your eyes and ears open so that you can be attentive to what God might be speaking to you.  

Prayer: Father, I thank You for the progress I have made this past year. At times, it seemed like I wasn’t moving forward at all, but You have been faithful. You have helped me keep my focus and accomplish more than I could without You. As I look back on this year and look forward to next year, help me to discern what You are saying so that I can set appropriate goals. My greatest desire is to honor You. Help me to keep pressing toward my full potential for Your glory. Amen.

What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV

 Do you have a favorite story? I am a sucker for romantic stories that involve some self-discovery and growth. Okay, I am a fan of Jane Austen novels and confession: I have, not only a complete set of those novels, but a complete DVD set of those novels made into movies. Persuasion is my favorite because the main characters learn the truth about who they really are and what they really want and realize that what was lost can be regained. Regret becomes redemption. What is better than that?!

What stories grab your attention? Bigger question: What story are you telling yourself?

When I am driving long distances, I like to listen to books. Specifically, I like to listen to fiction books or radio dramas. On a recent trip I listened to Kate Beckinsale reading Jane Austen’s Emma. (Told you!) As my physical self responds to the necessary stimuli for driving, my inner self follows the story of what I am listening to. The narrative fills my mind and makes the time go faster. I am more involved with the story than how long the trip is taking. The story moves forward, and I move with it, so the traveling doesn’t seem quite so long, and the trip becomes more enjoyable to me.

The stories I tell myself don’t always involve forward motion. Sometimes the stories I tell myself are filled with fear that holds me back.

“If this happens everything will be ruined.”

“If I do this that person will reject me.”

“That person is going to criticize my work and I am going to feel terrible.”

“We don’t have enough money to pay our bills and we are going to be in trouble.”

“I don’t have what it takes to do this task.”

“I caused this problem. It’s always my fault.”

Maybe the story I tell is rooted in some aspect of reality, but often my imagination takes over and leads me to fear, failure and fault. What about you? What stories are you telling yourself? Where do those stories lead you? Not where you want to go, right?

If we want to be and do all that God has for us, then we need to tell ourselves stories that lead in that direction. I know that I don’t always do that. Do you?

Here are some things I try to keep in mind to help me tell myself the right story.

Tell yourself what is real. Reality isn’t all positive or all negative. Reality is usually somewhere in between. Just be honest! Don’t try to put a positive spin on something that really stinks. You don’t have to skip to the silver lining. It probably is there, but just deal with the negative emotions that are associated with a tough situation first.

On the other hand, don’t focus on everything that could go wrong. Most of the scenarios you imagine probably won’t happen anyway. You may think that you are preparing yourself and protecting yourself from future trouble or disappointment, but most likely you are spending a lot of energy telling yourself a story that isn’t helping you process the problem properly. The future you are envisioning is not real. Deal with the real first. The real situation and the real feelings. The plan is appropriate after a time of recognizing the real.

Tell yourself what success looks like. Every situation, positive or negative, can have some sort of successful outcome. Tell yourself the story of a best-case scenario and then determine what you can do to move the details in that direction. You don’t have control over everything, so success for you is only going to be about you and your response.It’s not about trying to control the outcome. It is about setting yourself up to succeed no matter what the outcome is.

When we listen to podcasts or watch videos or read articles about success the presenters focus on successful outcomes. While there are things you and I can do to lead toward successful outcomes more often than not we are limited in what we can control. The most successful outcome for me is one in which I remain focused on the long-term and eternal rather than the temporal and temporary. (2 Corinthians.4:18) My goal is to keep my trust in God and not the circumstances and my own comfort. At the end of the day, that is what matters most. Everything else is gravy. It isn’t easy to keep that kind of perspective. That’s why achieving it is such a win for me. What about you? What does success look like for you? Tell yourself that story.

Tell yourself what is true. It may sound like real and true are the same, but not quite. The reality of a situation may not always reflect what is true about God, yourself or other people. Just because you are struggling financially does not mean God is not your provider. What does His Word say about that? Just because a project failed does not mean that you are a failure. Just because a person rejected you does not mean that you are unloveable. Do you see where I am going with this? At the end of the day what matters most is what is true about God and what is true about you because of what He says. Keep your Bible handy and tell yourself what it says. That is what is true!

Dear Friend, don’t get caught in the trap of telling yourself stories that hurt and hinder you. I don’t want you to get stuck! Keep moving forward by telling yourself what is real, by picturing what real success looks like, and by focusing on what is true. The story you tell yourself makes a big difference in how you navigate your challenges. Jane Austen’s characters always learn something along the way and often it has to do with telling themselves a better story. What story do you need to tell yourself to help you move forward? Tell that one!

 Key Question: How is the story you are telling yourself affecting your attitudes and actions?

A Scripture to Consider: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV

A YES Challenge: Take one day to be intentionally aware of the story you are telling yourself. Make notes on paper or digitally if you find that helpful. Set a time at the close of your day to evaluate what you have learned. What one area will you work on to change the story you tell yourself?

Prayer: Father, I never really thought about the story I tell myself. I have not recognized the thoughts that are holding me back and keeping me from fulfilling all that You have for me. Help me to make changes that will lead to Your will for my life and, most importantly, help me grow closer to You. Help me to see You as You are so that I can tell myself the truth about You and Your work in my life. Amen.

What is Balance Anyway?

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 NIV

Would you say that your life is in balance? Where do you spend your most thought and energy? Where would you like to be spending your energy? What area needs your attention?

If I find I am obsessing over certain details of my life, then I need to remind myself that I have lost my balance. You know what I mean. You lie awake while your brain is trying to solve a problem, or put a relationship back together, or put things in order that are really out of your control. Believe me, I have been there. In fact, I have been there VERY recently. Okay, it was today!

What I have learned is that if something is out of balance, there is a good chance that I am attempting to do it in my own strength. When I make Jesus the center of that situation, then I know what requires my effort and attention. When something is out of balance in my life, I need to step back and evaluate if I am staying connected to Jesus. Am I relying on His strength or depending on my own? Am I deciding what I think is best without reference to to His Word and His Spirit?

How can I put Jesus at the center of everything? What does balance really look like anyway?

One of the most helpful things I heard in all of my education for ministry credentials came from one of my teachers. It wasn’t in the assigned curriculum, and I can’t remember which teacher said it. But this concept changed how I approach priorities. It is the key that helps me find my balance.

We tend to think of priorities in a linear fashion. It is a very western approach. You know what I mean. “God first, then my family, then…” The teacher used the white board and wrote JESUS in the center. He said that when Jesus is at the center, He will show us where to focus our attention at any given time. There may be times when my family should be my focus. There may be times when my ministry receives greater focus. There may be times when I need to spend more energy on my physical or mental health or finances. If Jesus is the center of my life, then He will show me the right thing at the right time. Jesus at the center is the key to balance.

Find your balance by finding your center. What area of your life seems to be out of control and weighing heavy on you? That is an area that is out of balance. How can you find your center?

One thing that has helped me is to seek God for a Scripture that speaks to that area of life. If finances are weighing on me, then I find scriptures that speak about God’s provision. (Mt 6:33, Phil 4:19) If I am struggling to find peace as I wonder how circumstances are going to play out, I look up words that remind me to trust in Him (Isaiah 26:3, Proverbs 3:5-6) If I am struggling over a family relationship, then I remind myself that love is what matters most and ask what love looks like in that situation. (Galatians 5:6, Mark 12: 29-31)

Here’s the thing: Any area where I am focused on trying to solve the problem or smooth out the situation is an area that is out of balance. When I put Jesus back in the center of that area the angst settles, and I can wait for Him to speak. When He does, I can see clearly what He is asking of me, and I receive the grace to do it. When Jesus is at the center, I am in balance.

Balance does not mean everything is even. When you envision an old-fashioned scale, balance means both sides are even. If we think of our priorities in a linear fashion, we imagine everything being equal and lined up one after the other. But if balance is about being centered, then the majority of weight is in the center, and I can focus on one area more than another without being out of balance.

Jesus at my center means that He reveals where I need to pay more attention. My weight is on Him and He helps me to care for the area He highlights. The other areas will receive the attention they need at the right time.

Trying to spin all the plates at the same time and keep everything going at the same speed just doesn’t work. Find your center and ask Him where He wants you to focus. That keeps you in balance. You can do it. Isn’t that so much more doable than trying to keep everything even?

Balance requires constant re-evaluation.  Because you can’t keep everything at the same level all the time, you need to constantly be re-centering. Keeping your balance requires constant re-evaluation. Keep checking back to center and ask Him where you need to spend your thoughts, energy and time. The courage and wisdom to tackle each issue comes from the center. He will show you the right thing at the right time. Stay open to the Spirit’s prompting to shift your focus while keeping your weight on Jesus.

 Dear Friend, balance is not easy, but it is doable. If you and I can remind ourselves to find our center, focus on what the Spirit says and be ready to re-evaluate we will find our balance and move forward with grace and peace. You can do it! You can find your balance with Jesus at the center.

 Key Question: What does balance look like?

A Scripture to Consider: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 NIV

A YES Challenge: Look at your schedule and evaluate where you are spending most of your energy. Prayerfully consider if that area is out of balance. What steps can you take to make Jesus the center of that life area?

Prayer: Lord, I realize that I tend to pay attention to certain areas of my life more than others. Help me to understand myself. Help me to see what needs to change so that I can make You my true center. I want to rely on You to show me where I need to focus my attention and energy so that I keep You at the center. I need Your guidance by Your Spirit. Amen.