“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT
What is God doing? I am still not sure. I am a healthy person, but in the last three months, I have found myself with doctors multiple times. If you are a regular reader, then you know about the fall in May that broke both my wrists and led to surgery on the right wrist. A miraculous, immediate healing would have been nice, but I knew it would take time to recover. My orthopedist says we are almost “out of the weeds”. Praise God! Recovery has taken more effort and patience than I imagined, but it wasn’t unexpected.
Most recently I ended up in the doctor’s office for something that seems small and unnecessary. If you know me as well as my husband does, you know that even deciding to see the doctor is a big deal. My practice with most anything is to try to figure it out myself first or wait to see if it resolves. I don’t ask for help until I am absolutely certain that I need it. That has not served me well when it comes to medical issues. I confess I sometimes wait too long before heading to the doctor’s office or emergency room.
I was experiencing ear pain and then couldn’t hear out of my left ear. After a few days of trying to resolve the issue, I determined the problem was earwax that wasn’t responding to home treatment. Earwax! Come on! Do I really need a doctor for that? I called and was surprised to get an appointment the same day. I thought I would go in, get it taken care of, and go home healed. Not so!
My diagnosis was correct, but my expectation was not. The PA could not flush out the wax with the normal tools. It was too hard! She told me to continue drops at home to soften it and come back in a few days so they could flush it out.
Tom told me the doctor I was to see on my return visit “doesn’t mess around.” I didn’t look forward to the process but was confident I would go home hearing. But no! After some uncomfortable efforts he told me what he had already done would normally have removed it. The largest clump was still too hard. He sent me home to continue drops for another five days and then come back… again! The next day my ear began to open, and I could hear...most of the time. Finally, I went back to the doctor and left with success. But still questions.
Why does God sometimes require us to participate in the healing process rather than give us a quick resolution? I’ve got a few thoughts about that. I hope they encourage you.
Patience requires trust. If you and I are honest, we want a quick healing so we can just go on with life as it was.
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I was listening to a podcast when I heard a quote that brought so much clarity, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Here it is: “Anxiety results from wanting to control something God has not given us to control.” I didn’t remember the name of the person or why she was on the podcast, but what she said made so much practical sense. (I looked it up later. So, if you are interested, it was Joanna Weaver’s podcast, The Living Room, and the guest was Sharon Hodde Miller, author of The Cost of Control: Why We Crave It, the Anxiety It Gives Us, and the Real Power God Promises Us.) As I pondered her statement, a formula took shape in my brain, “A – C = P,” Anxiety – Control = Peace. Easy to remember and a goal worth aiming for.
Anxiety is something we all experience. Anxiety steals peace and commands focus. Whether it’s something personal about your family, or a job, or something broader like politics and the world situation, anxiety creeps up behind us, leaps upon us and gets us in a stranglehold. Ever feel that way?
Your brain goes in circles, trying to resolve something you are powerless to resolve. You can’t sleep and every waking moment is consumed with mental and practical fruitless attempts to solve the problem. Suddenly, it seems like nothing else is happening in your life. What started as a thought becomes a huge shadow. What do you do?