Bicker or Better?

May 9, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

Those little annoyance. The dishes in the sink. The lights left on. The TV too loud. The food set aside for dinner eaten for snack. Those little things often seem big. Put a few of those things together and they seem HUGE! They stir up emotion. Emotion you didn't realize was right below the surface. What’s your reaction?

Sometimes those emotions spill over into words that you wish you could take back, actions you wish you could undo. You find yourself hurting someone you love. It isn’t what you intended to do. It isn’t what you wanted to do. Now it’s done and all you can do is try to clean up the emotional mess. You apologize. You try to repair what’s been broken. But as you do, you are asking yourself, “Why do I keep doing this? How can I stop? What can I do differently?” Somehow, no one has ever taught you and me how to deal with these daily occurrences. You would think that something so common to all of us would be a part of common core curriculum! How do you deal with the little annoyances that become big issues?

My Sword To Battle Fear...And Yours

May 2, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

I would say that I used to be a pretty fearful person. My biggest fear: FAILURE. I have been afraid of failure to the point of making no decision for fear of making the wrong decision. I would hold back and try to determine the PERFECT choice, which often took so long that I missed an opportunity.

FAILURE may not be your fear. Right now there are a lot of fears out there. Will I or a family member get sick? If I do get sick, will I recover? What if I can’t pay my bills? What if.... just go ahead and fill in the blank. Most of our questions rise from some fear. EVERYONE is experiencing some level of anxiety in our unfamiliar circumstances. It may not be right on the surface for you, but it’s there and I don’t have to convince you about it.

So, how are you doing? How are you handling all of this? I can tell you that I am aware of the low-level anxiety that comes with not being sure of what will happen next, but I no longer get consumed by fear. My thoughts don’t linger on all the what-ifs like they used to. Do you want to know what God used to help me get past that? A middle school field trip. Really! That was it.

They're Driving Me Crazy! Sanity Starts Here.

April 25, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

Sanity starts with shifting perspective..png

So, here we all are. For weeks now all of our busyness has come to a screeching halt. The kids aren't going to school, so those hours that you had to take care of the house, or of you, are gone. Perhaps you or a loved one are working from home. Your dining room is now the school room and the office. You have to remind yourself not to trip on computer cords and all the school books or work files need to be moved before you can eat your meals. Maybe your job or your spouse's job has been suspended, so you have the added tension of wondering how you are going to pay your bills while you try to figure out how to navigate this new normal.

Even if you are alone...a lot...this time has put a strain on your relationships. You wonder, "Why don't they call more frequently? Don't they realize that I need them now more than ever? Do they really even care?"

You have a lot to deal with right now, but perhaps the most difficult thing for you is your family relationships. Maybe this says it all for you, "They are driving me crazy!"

Being constantly home with family often reminds me of all the things that I want to change in the ones I love, but can’t. All the desire to control, all the disappointment, all the hurt is staring me in the face all day, every day and I can’t get away from it. It may boil over in confrontation, or at least simmer beneath the surface like the kettle you leave on the stove so that it's ready when you want a cup of tea. it doesn’t take much to bring it to the boiling point. Being stuck at home with your family 24/7 is actually a blessing that can sometimes feel like a curse.

What’s Going On In There? A Guide For Staying In Touch With What’s Beneath the Surface.

April 18, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

In this season of global uncertainty every one of us is under stress. No one knows what the future holds. Whatever plans we had are now altered. We don’t know what the future will look like. All the questions and restrictions stir up emotions. In addition, you or someone you love may be sick. How are you feeling? Do you even know? What’s going on in there?

The truth is that in our normal lives most of us don’t slow down enough to be in touch with our emotions. We serve others. We take care of our families. We work. We pursue personal goals. We keep so busy that we don’t have time to really feel anything. But all the emotions we don’t process still exist below the surface of our lives. Without realizing it, what we don’t know about our own emotions spills over and affects our relationships. Like a jar of salad dressing that is continually shaken, everything is all mixed together. You can’t notice the individual ingredients, but each ingredient flavors all the others.

Now, as our lives have been forcibly slowed down, you may be noticing something. What happens when you stop shaking the jar? Some ingredients rise to the top and others sink to the bottom, right? As life has slowed down, or maybe even seemed to stop for you, those feelings that have been mixed in with everything else have started to rise to the surface. Maybe you are having trouble naming what you feel. Maybe you are unsure of how to process it. Maybe you are among the many who, as social media proves, are just trying to keep busy. Part of the unconscious motivation for that is to keep the jar shaken up and push all those feelings back down.

What about you? How are you handling what is rising to the surface? Maybe, just maybe, God is offering you the opportunity to experience Him as you process your emotions. I have been grateful for the moments when I can process this pandemic with God. I firmly believe that knowing myself helps me to know God better. As I understand myself and my own emotions I realize how much I need God to help me navigate them.

Emotions are too scary to face them on our own. I’d like to offer you this guide for recognizing and processing what you are feeling with God.

Too Much "Help"? Try This Tool Instead.

April 11, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

This current world crisis has produced another interesting whirlwind. In the midst of all the sorrow and grief and anxiety, we find thousands of people stuck at home, separated from their normal lives and looking for a way to fill their time and thoughts.

Many people, regardless of their faith journey, are attempting to use their time to help others. Certainly a worthy goal. However, the result is dozens of emails and social media posts offering "help" in the current crisis. Help for doing ministry or dealing with anxiety or staying safe or activities or purchases to help keep me occupied while I am stuck at home.

Normally, I would comb through all these messages to make sure that I don’t miss something that could be truly helpful so that I can pass it on to someone else. Part of my make-up is to be a researcher and a resourcer. The glut of “help” has made my head spin! My internal pull to check everything out, and the underlying awareness that I don’t have the time or the brain power to do so causes a tension. I have decided to limit my inbox and energy to just a few trustworthy sources to reduce overwhelm!

How are you handling all this “help”? What is your go-to source for encouragement and wisdom? May I suggest making the Scripture your first source? I try, not always successfully, to spend time in Scripture before I check email or news or social media. In order to truly receive my help from the Lord, I need to take time to think deeply on His Word, not just take it in.

Staying Anchored To Hope: The Pick One Devotional Method

April 4, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

We are living in a whirlwind right now. We are all being touched personally in some way by this pandemic. We need ways to keep hope alive within us. What habits have you developed to keep you anchored in hope? Not just now, but for the rest of your life?

If you had not developed a regular devotional time before this crisis, now is the time to begin. In a world that is uncertain and insecure, we need an anchor for our souls. A regular time in the Word and in worship will anchor you like nothing else. I want to offer you a way to get started.

Maybe you already have a regular devotion time. That"s great! This method will give you a way to change things up and perhaps even deepen your time with God.

If you have already signed up to receive my blog by email then you received a printable download: 5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Daily Devotions. If not, click here to sign up and I would love to send it to you and to be able to encourage you by email every week. The printable will give you some guidelines on getting started and being consistent. You can apply this method to the time you spend.

Are You Anchored? 3 Ways to Bring Stability To This Storm

March 28, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

Most of us don’t deal well with uncertainty. I know I don’t! But that is the place we all find ourselves right now. No one knows how this global crisis is going to play out and none of us know what life will look like when we get past it. We have questions about our lives and loved ones. How will we pay the bills? Will everyone stay safe? What will I do with my time while I am involuntarily isolated? How long is this going to last?

In these times of uncertainty, when we feel like a small ship tossed about by the wind and waves of a perfect storm, it is so important to make sure that our anchor is secure. It’s that mooring that helps us to keep from drifting and drowning in the sea of questions. Are you anchored?

Some ships have more than one anchor. Can you define what your anchors are? We need as many as we can get right now! It's time to examine your anchors.

You have an important role to play in this time of extreme global stress. Staying anchored can bring security and stability to those around you. So, let’s look at a few practical anchors for this time of uncertainty.

Don't Minimize Your Significance

March 21, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

The question I have been asking with all that is going on in our world right now is why you might even want to read what I write. What do I have to offer in this time of unprecedented concern? Before 2020 began I prayed for one word as the theme message to focus on giving you throughout the year. The one word I felt led to choose is “Significance.” This week, as I prayed and considered what I should write, or even IF I should write, I realized that now, more than ever, I can still encourage you in your significance. As I have questioned whether I have something to offer I have realized that I do, and so do you.

“A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

You may feel helpless right now. We all do! However, you are still an important influence in your circle. Don’t minimize your significance. God has given you spiritual gifts, abilities that are uniquely yours. God has given you and I gifts so that we can help each other. Ask Him what you can be doing with your gifts RIGHT NOW. You are needed.

Is it Faith or Fear?

March 14, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

You have a lot to do today and a lot to think about, so I’ll keep this one short.

Not one of us is unaffected by the current virus concerns. Whether your kids are being kept home from school or your business is being shut down or your church is limiting activity, every one of us is being forced to grapple with this crisis. As believers, we know that we are not supposed to live in fear. We know it and we say it, but sometimes we don’t recognize when fear is in the driver’s seat in our own lives.

One of my prayers for myself, and for the Church, is that I will recognize and wrestle with the reality of my own fear, in whatever way it presents itself. Fear is a natural reaction to danger. God gave it to us and it is a good thing as long as it is protective and not destructive. The question that I need to ask myself is, “Am I letting fear steal my peace and destroy my joy?” So far, I don’t think that I have, but I am not the best judge of that. Sometimes I might need someone else to point it out. You might as well. I am praying that I have the humility to receive any needed correction so that I can redirect my fear to faith.

With that in mind, I want to offer you a few thoughts on some differences between fear and faith.

It’s Time To Find Your Voice!

March 7, 2020 Cathleen Zahradnik

“I have a voice!” declares King George VI in the movie, The King’s Speech. God can use anything to speak to us and He has used this film to speak to me. I can recommend it. (Don’t be put off by the R rating. It is for strong language judiciously used in certain scenes.) The story explores the impact of a commoner on King George VI of England as he faces the beginning of World War II. The king’s speech impediment caused him to feel inadequate for his daunting task, but Lionel Logue, a speech therapist, helps the king to, not only work with his impediment in order to give comfort and leadership to his frightened empire, but to find his own voice. The impediment never disappears, but the men develop a friendship that changes their lives and impacts their nation.

Like the king, I often felt like I had no voice and no ability to speak up. You may feel the same way, like you have no voice and no right to be heard. That is so far from the truth. God has used this film to encourage me that I have a voice. I have a right to speak. My opinions and thoughts matter. And so, my friend, do yours. God wants to use you to influence those around you. You may not influence a nation, like King George, but you can make a huge impact on one person, as Lionel Logue did. It’s time to find your voice.