“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV
Do you have a favorite story? I am a sucker for romantic stories that involve some self-discovery and growth. Okay, I am a fan of Jane Austen novels and confession: I have, not only a complete set of those novels, but a complete DVD set of those novels made into movies. Persuasion is my favorite because the main characters learn the truth about who they really are and what they really want and realize that what was lost can be regained. Regret becomes redemption. What is better than that?!
What stories grab your attention? Bigger question: What story are you telling yourself?
When I am driving long distances, I like to listen to books. Specifically, I like to listen to fiction books or radio dramas. On a recent trip I listened to Kate Beckinsale reading Jane Austen’s Emma. (Told you!) As my physical self responds to the necessary stimuli for driving, my inner self follows the story of what I am listening to. The narrative fills my mind and makes the time go faster. I am more involved with the story than how long the trip is taking. The story moves forward, and I move with it, so the traveling doesn’t seem quite so long, and the trip becomes more enjoyable to me.
The stories I tell myself don’t always involve forward motion. Sometimes the stories I tell myself are filled with fear that holds me back.
“If this happens everything will be ruined.”
“If I do this that person will reject me.”
“That person is going to criticize my work and I am going to feel terrible.”
“We don’t have enough money to pay our bills and we are going to be in trouble.”
“I don’t have what it takes to do this task.”
“I caused this problem. It’s always my fault.”
Maybe the story I tell is rooted in some aspect of reality, but often my imagination takes over and leads me to fear, failure and fault. What about you? What stories are you telling yourself? Where do those stories lead you? Not where you want to go, right?
If we want to be and do all that God has for us, then we need to tell ourselves stories that lead in that direction. I know that I don’t always do that. Do you?
Here are some things I try to keep in mind to help me tell myself the right story.
Tell yourself what is real. Reality isn’t all positive or all negative. Reality is usually somewhere in between. Just be honest! Don’t try to put a positive spin on something that really stinks. You don’t have to skip to the silver lining. It probably is there, but just deal with the negative emotions that are associated with a tough situation first.
On the other hand, don’t focus on everything that could go wrong. Most of the scenarios you imagine probably won’t happen anyway. You may think that you are preparing yourself and protecting yourself from future trouble or disappointment, but most likely you are spending a lot of energy telling yourself a story that isn’t helping you process the problem properly. The future you are envisioning is not real. Deal with the real first. The real situation and the real feelings. The plan is appropriate after a time of recognizing the real.
Tell yourself what success looks like. Every situation, positive or negative, can have some sort of successful outcome. Tell yourself the story of a best-case scenario and then determine what you can do to move the details in that direction. You don’t have control over everything, so success for you is only going to be about you and your response.It’s not about trying to control the outcome. It is about setting yourself up to succeed no matter what the outcome is.
When we listen to podcasts or watch videos or read articles about success the presenters focus on successful outcomes. While there are things you and I can do to lead toward successful outcomes more often than not we are limited in what we can control. The most successful outcome for me is one in which I remain focused on the long-term and eternal rather than the temporal and temporary. (2 Corinthians.4:18) My goal is to keep my trust in God and not the circumstances and my own comfort. At the end of the day, that is what matters most. Everything else is gravy. It isn’t easy to keep that kind of perspective. That’s why achieving it is such a win for me. What about you? What does success look like for you? Tell yourself that story.
Tell yourself what is true. It may sound like real and true are the same, but not quite. The reality of a situation may not always reflect what is true about God, yourself or other people. Just because you are struggling financially does not mean God is not your provider. What does His Word say about that? Just because a project failed does not mean that you are a failure. Just because a person rejected you does not mean that you are unloveable. Do you see where I am going with this? At the end of the day what matters most is what is true about God and what is true about you because of what He says. Keep your Bible handy and tell yourself what it says. That is what is true!
Dear Friend, don’t get caught in the trap of telling yourself stories that hurt and hinder you. I don’t want you to get stuck! Keep moving forward by telling yourself what is real, by picturing what real success looks like, and by focusing on what is true. The story you tell yourself makes a big difference in how you navigate your challenges. Jane Austen’s characters always learn something along the way and often it has to do with telling themselves a better story. What story do you need to tell yourself to help you move forward? Tell that one!
Key Question: How is the story you are telling yourself affecting your attitudes and actions?
A Scripture to Consider: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV
A YES Challenge: Take one day to be intentionally aware of the story you are telling yourself. Make notes on paper or digitally if you find that helpful. Set a time at the close of your day to evaluate what you have learned. What one area will you work on to change the story you tell yourself?
Prayer: Father, I never really thought about the story I tell myself. I have not recognized the thoughts that are holding me back and keeping me from fulfilling all that You have for me. Help me to make changes that will lead to Your will for my life and, most importantly, help me grow closer to You. Help me to see You as You are so that I can tell myself the truth about You and Your work in my life. Amen.
