Happily Ever After? Really?

July 23, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

I have loved you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

I was 14. He was almost 18. It was my first "real" relationship. I remember the moment he said "I love you. And I've never said that to anyone before!" I believed him. He believed himself. We were happy. What else would we be?!

It lasted almost a year. An eternity as far as teenage relationships go! When it ended there was no amicable separation or catastrophic blowout. I saw him kissing someone else. He knew it and stopped calling. I was cast aside. His love for me had come to an end. Where was the happy ending every romantic movie, book, or fairy tale promised me? Was it my fault? Was I not lovable?

Romantic love. It seems like everyone wants it. It certainly is big business, but is it good business? Does it promise something it can’t deliver? Romantic love sells products, movies, and experiences. An entire TV channel is devoted to romantic movies! Every single one has a happy ending. But it doesn’t really happen, does it? You've been hurt by the fractured fairy tale, just as I have been. If we all know that "happily ever after" isn't reality, then what is it in us that cries out for love that lasts forever?

Experts recognize that the need to be loved is basic to every human being. If that is so, then there can only be one reason: We are God-wired for love. Why? Because you and I are made to be loved by Him. he has hard-wired us to want to be loved unconditionally, unceasingly, and unapologetically. The problem is that, as in so many other areas of life, we look for that need to be met in an earthly and natural way, rather than in a heavenly and supernatural way.

Are You A Forgiven Forgiver?

July 16, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. Colossians 3:13

There are those moments that become engraved in memory. Often, they are the most beautiful moments. The proposal. The graduation. The birth. But sometimes, they are the most painful moments: The breakup. The failure. The loss. This was one of those kinds of moments.

It isn’t necessary, or wise, for me to share the details with you. It was a moment of great loss, loss of position, loss of hope, loss of future. The loss was a decision, someone else’s decision, and the result of things out of my control. I understood the outcome but had hoped that there might be a different way to resolve the issues. Yet here it was. Loss. Pain. An uncertain future.

Thankfully, within a few months, hope was reborn and a new future began to take shape. I didn’t feel anger or resentment toward the one who made the decision, yet whenever I heard a message on forgiveness, that moment of loss was the one that always came to mind, even years later. I found that difficult to understand. I once heard a message that forgiveness is like peeling an onion and we sometimes have layers of hurt to forgive. That makes sense, but this wasn’t one of those situations. So, why did it continue to come to mind?

Are You Worth The Risk?

July 9, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5

What could have been one of my most terrifying childhood memories has become one of my most treasured moments because someone decided I was worth it.

At ten years old I was already comfortable swimming in the deep end of the pool. In fact, I loved it! One of my favorite games with a friend was to push ourselves from the surface to the bottom of the pool and then back up. We had spent summer mornings at swimming lessons for the past several years. I knew my way around the water and had a great time splashing, swimming, and playing water games.

My dad has always wanted to see as much of the world as he can. When you have a family, traveling can be cost-prohibitive, but Dad found that renting a camper for our summer vacations gave us the opportunity to go further on a smaller budget. One of his favorite activities was planning our itinerary and determining which new places we would visit.

My ten-year-old summer we took our first trip to the Midwest to visit with some college friends of Mom and Dad. They had a really cool house with a gas fireplace that opened into the rooms on either side of it. For someone who had never seen a gas fireplace before it was awesome! The house was situated in a community that had a pool and tennis courts and other recreational activities.

One afternoon we all went to the rec center, Mom and Dad, their friends, their friends' kids, my siblings, and me. We kids had no complaints about playing in the pool while the adults watched tennis in an adjoining area. The adults were within easy distance of the kids but didn't feel the need to be watching us every moment. We were all old enough and comfortable enough in the water.

This pool had something that made it especially enticing: A water slide! Our family had a pool, but not a slide. Every one of us got in line for turn after turn, sliding and splashing into the water. We relished the excitement of whishing down the slippery slide, hanging in the humid air, and then plunging into the cool, chlorinated wet.

I had been down the slide a number of times without incident. But this time when I hit the water, I became disoriented and couldn't find which way was up. The taste of chlorine filled my mouth. I was flailing my arms trying to find my floating balance and heard myself making unintelligible noises. "Help!" I realized it was my voice calling out.

Through my panicked splashing, I saw my Dad turn and start running toward me. Before anyone had time to think, he dove into the water, fully dressed — glasses, watch, sneakers, and all — and pulled me to the side of the pool. We both got out dripping, and out of breath.

Tribute to a Transformed Life

July 2, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

'For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him, you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. 'Colossians 2:12

Can people really change? That’s a question that gets knocked around quite a bit. I am here to tell you that they can, and they do. They absolutely do! God is in the business of transformation. With Him, lives are transformed. It’s true!

My wonderful husband reached a memorable birthday milestone this week and he is proof that people can be transformed. Tom is my best friend, my confidante, my challenger, and my cheerleader. I would not be here now doing this if he had not challenged me to keep moving forward in discovering my own purpose, and the more that God has for me.

Tom and I have known each other since we were eleven or twelve years old. Maybe even earlier. We don’t remember meeting each other. We knew each other before we each committed our lives to Christ. I knew him well then and I can testify to the transformational power of God. He is not the same person I knew. He is not even the same person I married. He is a different man. The old life truly has been buried and the new life is continually being created.

I knew Tom before he committed his life to Christ, and I have had a front-row seat to the transformation that Jesus has made of this man. He started as a depressed and frightened, unstable, quick-witted, and sarcastic attention stealer. He has become a confident, compassionate, articulate, and trustworthy leader. That has not come without cost. There have been struggles as he emerged from that cocoon of chaos. But now he soars. He really soars!

If you don’t mind, I’d like to shift my talk to Tom right now. Listen in as I share with him some of what I have learned from watching his metamorphosis.

Transformation requires hope in Christ as an anchor, even in the darkest times.

Random or Not?

June 25, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Tom and I recently returned from a trip to a conference in Springfield, Missouri. I usually try to take time to reflect after a conference and try to grasp what God may have been saying to me through the time. I journal and think and try to grab a truth or two. Well, here’s my takeaway from this one: There is nothing random in God. If I believe that God knows all and sees all and that God has a plan, then even the things that seem random to me are not random. And if they are not random and are part of God’s plan, then how I respond is important. Still working on that one!

Even trips to Starbucks are not random!

Where You Were Is Not Where You Are

June 18, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

'For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. ' Colossians 2:12

When I look back on certain times in my life, I can feel the blush begin to burn in my cheeks. No one else would notice it, but I feel like I want to crawl under my bed or disappear completely. Do you ever feel that way? I remember things I said or things I did that I would never do now. I wish I could go back and just relive that whole circumstance from my current perspective. I would have made completely different choices and saved myself a lot of grief. I would have saved the people around me some grief as well. What about you?

I hate that squirmy feeling! But when those memories surface, and they are going to surface for all of us, I need to stop and remember something. That old life is gone! I have trusted in the power of God through Jesus Christ and from the moment I did that, my life has been different.

So, should I completely forget my past? Should you? Then those blush-making memories would disappear, right? None of us like to feel that uncomfortable feeling! But what if you and I allowed those crawl-in-a-hole memories to lead us somewhere else? What if we actually took the time to recall and reflect? How can those memories lead us forward? What if remembering your old life could lead to compassion for others, recognition of your own growth and gratefulness to God for your new life?

What’s Your Source of Truth?

June 11, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. ' Colossians 2:8-9

Maybe you are like me. I love to learn and that leads me to love to research. Not like me? That’s okay. Keep reading, you might be more like me than you think!

I worked in a middle school library for almost ten years, and I loved it! First, I love books. I have always enjoyed good fiction. But I also loved having all those reference books so easily accessible. For example, my Mom and Dad traveled to Australia. “Cool! I can follow their itinerary on a map in this atlas and learn more about Australia from these books. Oh yeah! I also have access to some research websites through our library computers or I can just Google every place they are going. Maybe I’ll even find some photos! It will be almost like I am going with them!”

If it was a slow day (which wasn’t often!) I could fill the day learning about Australia and where Mom and Dad were traveling to, but if I wasn’t careful, I could also get bogged down in repeating information or even in opinion pieces on the places they were visiting. Then it would be time to apply a good rule of thumb that we gave the students: Make sure it’s a reliable source! If it’s someone’s opinion or the story of their own trip that doesn’t qualify for research.

So, where am I going with this? When it comes to learning about God what sources do you rely on? The internet? A TV preacher? A YouTube worship channel? Your own pastor? A good friend or family member? Social media? Are you certain that you are learning from a reliable source?

The most reliable resource for learning about God is the one He provided us with, the one source of truth that never changes: The Word of God. If you want to know what God is like, then take a look at the Living Word as described in the Bible. Take a look at Jesus. The Scriptures declare that the fulness of God lived in Jesus’ human body. If you want to know God, then you need to know Jesus. Are your sources helping you know Jesus?

Here are a few things to consider in evaluating your sources.

What You Need Right Now

June 4, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

'And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. ' Colossians 2:6-7

Life is a challenge. Okay, Okay! I know that is an understatement! You have got some things going on in your life right now that seem…well, overwhelming. Right now, you are just trying to figure out how to navigate those unforeseen and unusual circumstances. What can you do to just survive? More than that, what can you do to live out your faith in such difficult situations. How do you apply faith to this?

I am so sorry that you find yourself in such an overwhelmingly difficult situation. I have also found myself in my own unforeseen and unusual circumstances. In those seasons, sometimes it can seem like taking a breath is the most difficult thing you can do. Continuing to simply live when such a huge wrench has been thrown into the works of normal seems unbearable. You find yourself in survival mode. You do what you have to. You eat, sleep, work and pay the bills. You take care of your family and do your best to just keep going. But is that all there is? Could there be more? Could there actually be a way to do more than just live? Could there be a way to thrive even as you struggle to survive? Could this be an opportunity to let Jesus to permeate every part of your life?

What if God has chosen to allow this situation in your life for the purpose of helping you grow closer to Him? What if what seems like the worst possible thing could turn out to be one of the best possible things for your relationship with Christ? It’s hard for you to see it now. I get that because I have been in your shoes. Oh sure, it wasn’t the same situation. It was my own normal-life-grinding-to-a-halt moment in time. I felt disoriented and unsure of how to do more than just get by, but as I chose to cling desperately to Jesus while I continued to do the basics – get my kids to school, go to the grocery store, do the laundry – I found Jesus to be closer than I expected and, even though I couldn’t really articulate it, I knew that He was carrying me through the darkness and I was learning how to better build my life on Christ. You are, too. You can’t see it now, but you are.

What To Do in the Dark

May 28, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

'I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God’s mysterious plan, which is Christ himself. In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. ' Colossians 2:2-3

It was a dark time, one of the darkest times I have ever lived through. A loved one was struggling through the shadows of depression and every day was a battle. Just getting out of bed and facing the mundane tasks of daily life took every ounce of my strength. The future was a wall of fog. The present was a slog through mud with a backpack full of rocks. It was all I could do to just get through today.

Maybe that is where you are right now, Dear Friend. I am so sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult time. One thing I heard from a conference speaker that helped me through my darkness and gave me perspective was this: Every trial will come to an end. As those words rang in the arena and resounded in my ears my heart knew that they were true. In the course of a time that seemed to last forever, I eventually experienced that truth in my circumstance. You will experience it in yours. You will.

But while you are in it, can I offer you some perspective? Something I learned from walking through my own fog? Jesus really is enough. He is!

All You Need Is Love?

May 21, 2022 Cathleen Zahradnik

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“All you need is love.” So sang the Beatles. “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” Maybe you are too young to remember that one. I used to know every word of so many songs that were on the radio. Maybe you know a few, too! Popular songs are full of a desire for love, a recognition of the need for love. It’s true: Individuals need love; the world needs love. But, as many songs declare, finding love is illusive. We know we need it, but don't really know how to get it. And, if observation is accurate, we spend more energy trying to figure out how to get love than how to give it.

Yes, love is central to life, but love isn’t primarily something we are supposed to get. It’s something we are supposed to give. Jesus gave his disciples a command to love one another. He said that the world would know those who belong to Him by the way they love each other. (John 13:34-35) That’s a command to love. Not a command to search for love. The command to give love is the primary directive. Yet, it’s been twisted into the main thing everyone is searching for. What if we turned our focus to giving love rather than getting it? In the current culture wouldn’t that immediately establish us as different? In a world where everyone is looking for love (“in all the wrong places”, as a popular country song once said), what if the identifying factor of Christians was that we gave love away rather than seeking it for ourselves?